[Closed] Anyone had colonic irrigation?

I fancied having it done but me and the girl that administers the treatment have previous history if you know what i mean, so i would expect she would use the large hose. obviously i gave it a miss.

I think those half a stone of turd rubbish is based on the assumption that you only eat steak and eggs every day of your life. But if you want to try it out, stick one of these on your road bike and go out in the rain and it will be just as good 🙂
[img] [/img]

But what if you enjoy it? 😯

Sounds like a load of $hite to me

IGMC

But what if you enjoy it?

I'll become a bummer

7lbs of faeces? Really? Those colonic therapists have a pooey job, do they have hoses that can cope with all that? What do they do with all the equipment after?

It can be quite a harsh treatment if you overdo it. People vary in terms of how many sessions they need. I have had it done a few times, and yeah, you feel one heck of a lot lighter, but it can remove quite a few nutrients and you have to take tablets afterwards to replace the good stuff that is lost.

I was told by my irrigaitonist that for some people the stuff inside of them is so hard it is like firing a waterpistol onto a brick wall, and nothing comes out. I went through a phase of suffering from bloating, so i did this but also received a lot of advice on how to change my diet.

When the thing goes up your bum, you don't feel violated or anything. It can be covered in very cold gel though, and when you poo you cant help but think it will go all over the bed and floor but it doesnt - it goes through the tube.

The tube is made of glass so that the irrigaitonist can look at your poo and tell you what is wrong with you - there are all sorts of types of poo and stuff and they are the experts.

Also, it can really make you want to pee, and I had problems not wanting to stop and go to the loo. At the end you poo a whole load of water out again when on the loo, but yeah, it's ok and you feel really good and a little bit high 😀

you could try a detox instead - try a course of aloe vera colon cleansing tablets

What qualifications do these people have? What a job! Still.. useful for back door activity I suppose..

Glass tube 😯 How long do you poo water for after i don't fancy sitting on the 55 going home then whooosh?

you could try a detox instead - try a course of aloe vera colon cleansing tablets

not really doing it as a "detox" just thought i spend enough money on booze/bikes why not spend it on my body.

how much it set you back simon? And when did simon ralli become simon ralli esquire?

You'll be pleased to know i have kept up my one photo 365, but some days i feel so uninspired, still it will all make sense eventually.

Anyone else feeling a bit [i]Eww[/i] after reading Simon's post?

I went to the Hale Clinic in London which has a very good reputation for these things.

Tails - it varys but the water kind of whooshes out pretty quick and then you sit there for maybe another 5 - 10 mins to lets the rest just drip out as and when I wants to.....

I made it back from Harley Street to Hampton by tube OK.

I guess people vary but you can pay between £50 and £90 or more for a 1 hour session, then you pay for the medicines as well which is a one off.

Oh and finally, colonic irrigation is nothing compared to purging on Ayahuasca. I'll be writing a whole chapter on throwing up for my MSC dissertation.

Had 2 barium enemas, which may sem similar,you take a few sachets orally of Picolax, and the whole world then falls out of your bum.
Next day yo go into a small room with poor lighting,wearing a girlie dress and nothing else,where 2 nice ladies insert a drinking straw up your bum this they connect to a plastic tube connected to a huge bag of Barium a thick white ligud,this they squirt up your bum, and then blow you up with carbon dioxide,(painful) after rearrangeing you on a narrow table and x raying you in various positions you are now free to empty the barium down the bog, with much noise and flowing liquid.

This continues all the way home and most of the night.

cheers simon

Just drink 1L of prune juice and park yourself on the bog for an hour with a good book (or STW 😉 = DIY irrigation.

Mind and put some bog roll in the fridge too. You'll be needing a lot of it.

My Dad needed colonic treatment and after one of the sessions the specialist directed him to the loo. After a couple of minutes my Dad reappears claiming to have finished.
"Oh no you haven't!" says the doctor!! Dad said he was quite right.
BTW I nearly managed a colonic irrigation once while water-skiing.

I was reading in paper the other day you have maybe half a stone of turd inside you

that is crap!

[i]BTW I nearly managed a colonic irrigation once while water-skiing. [/i]

I've been dragged behind a boat on a big inner tube. I had to waddle to the toilets immediately afterwards and eject a good couple of litres of watery poo. The boat driver and his mate were both having a good laugh at me, they must see it all the time. That only cost me a tenner, and it was a lot more fun than lying there on my side reading readers digest while a tight lipped nurse shoved a glass tube up my arse. 😉

but it can remove quite a few nutrients

I don't see how, apart from not fully digested food - the only traffic from the body into the gut is bile, eroded lining and mucus

pegasus - Premier Member

......BTW I nearly managed a colonic irrigation once while water-skiing.

I did have one on my first water-skiing experience. I wondered out-loud why all the poncey types were donning wet suits, I was convinced I'd be fine in my speedo's (this was the early 90's!), how the regulars laughed.

After a stuttering start, I actually did okay; the time came to finish and the boat slung me towards the beach, I landed on my arse with a strange "wooshing" sensation in the rear trouser area. Less than a minute later, I had to run up the beach to the loo's. I just about made it and proceeded to have a right good clear out. More water than anything else. I felt violated at the time, but strangely pleasant (light headed) shortly afterwards. I've been curious about having it done professionally since, but can't get my head around someone shoving a tube up my hoop.

Never tried water-skiing again though.

I'm pretty sure that sfb is correct. A quick search of snopes reveals this story

http://www.snopes.com/horrors/gruesome/fecalcolon.asp

Whilst is doesn't specifically address the point raised by the OP it does describe the symptoms one man had with one pound of impacted faeces in his colon. They are sufficiently severe to raise serious doubts over the 7lb claim. As for detoxing, well evolution has given you a very effective set of detoxing equipment (kidneys & liver) so I'd just let them get on with it. Granted you might want to cut down on the booze and up our fruit and veg quotient but that's about it really. No expensive treatments required.

you water skiers serious?

No, amateur..obviously!

Is this 2010 attempt at a picolax thread?

As for detoxing, well evolution has given you a very effective set of detoxing equipment (kidneys & liver) so I'd just let them get on with it

those organs detoxify the body but would not have an effect on anything lodged in the colon - were such a thing to happen.

tails - Member

you water skiers serious?

100%. It happenned in 1994 while I was working in Saudia. It was on the Aerospace private beach, south of Al Khubar.

simonfbarnes - Premier Member

but it can remove quite a few nutrients

I don't see how, apart from not fully digested food - the only traffic from the body into the gut is bile, eroded lining and mucus

Osmosis and diffusion. Depending what they use as a solution you can get salts and minerals leaching out of your bloodstream into the fluid.

[i]100%. It happenned in 1994 while I was working in Saudia. It was on the Aerospace private beach, south of Al Khubar. [/i]

😉 I'm guessing he meant, are you serious about water skiing?

lol!! Not any more. Never done it since. 😳

Simon Ralli Esquire - Member

[b][i]I was told by my irrigaitonist .......[/i][/b]

Now that's a conversation starter which I've never heard before.

I'm going to keep it, treasure it, and use it, when I find that "special moment." 8)

.

that for some people the stuff inside of them is so hard it is like firing a waterpistol onto a brick wall

Did you believe him or her ?

Or did you understand that it was simply a shit excuse for a crap theory not working ?

those organs detoxify the body but would not have an effect on anything lodged in the colon - were such a thing to happen.

True, but a decent amount of fruit and veg in your diet will deal with that sort of issue without any need to revert to mor "invasive" procedures.

Im sorry I coudlnt read this thread w/o pissing myself with laughter! 😆

Brilliant!

Can we have one on moob reduction next please? 😈

Done it - had 3 sessions over 4 weeks...wasn't a problem...I didn't feel lighter or high or anything after it but the next day I did feel a bit more energetic.

It was recommended to have 4 sessions as that then ensures the whole bowel is worked over - not really sure how they can tell if it is or isn't, but I was told I had a good diet (which I really don't think I do) - but drink too much fizzy juice (which I do!)...

It was interesting in a weird sort of way, but not something I've thought I need to do this regularly. The sitting on the toilet afterwards thing is very much like a serious dose of the scoots...but it lasts for all of a minute then you are sorted.

I think it helped me but I'm not sure as I don't think there was much wrong with me to start with - I got it asa replacement for the lass who was meant to be going, so I kind of volunteered not really knowing what it was, finding out what it was and then thinking, 'Well I've gone this far so why not!' - was fine though.

"I got it asa replacement for the lass who was meant to be going"

you were a stunt colon?

LOL...pretty much...

John Wayne was found to have over a stone of impacted waste inside him after his death.

It needs help to come out sometimes as it can not be healthy having rotting waste sat inside you can it?

What health problems are stored up there for the future?

you could try a detox instead - try a course of aloe vera colon cleansing tablets

Bakes seriously?

Read something years ago, journalist went on this holiday detox in thailand or somewhere, fasted for a week and everyone got a funnel and bit of tubing and a colander and sent to cubicles to self irrigate everyday. Colander was to check the results. Journalist said there were what looked like lumps of fillet steak in the colander and was told the body has trouble breaking down red meat. Another guest apparently passed a glass marble he had swallowed as a child. Apparently theres quite a lot of matter tucked away in folds and crevices and the fasting helps get rid of it.
Everyone reported weight loss and that was attributed to this matter being washed out - dunno whether this is just a con and all weight loss was solely due to fasting.

They were having different flavoured irrigations too, caffeine, garlic etc. It did sound interesting but bet it cost a mint and not sure I'd pay a lot of money to not eat and spend all day on the bog.

Loose-leaf green tea. Try that. You will feel ashamed and appalled when you look in the toilet the next day. Yes, in theory you really could take the 12inch black strap on 😯 😳

John Wayne was found to have over a stone of impacted waste inside him after his death.

Hora, click the link that I posted earlier to a snopes article. That statment is load of impacted feaces.

Is snope the new wiki? Never come across it before.

snopes was setup to debunk urban myths, been around for a while I think

Read something years ago, journalist went on this holiday detox in thailand or somewhere, fasted for a week and everyone got a funnel and bit of tubing and a colander and sent to cubicles to self irrigate everyday.

I remember reading that too. In FHM while I was at uni, I think. It were reet grim.

I visited Burkina Faso for a month and piocked up a bug.

At one point I seemed to be drinking water at roughly the same rate I was losing 'fluid' at the other end.

I certainly felt light headed and 'cleaned out' after a few days of that.

I've heard thatt making tea out of bracken is a very good emetic.

I remember reading that too. In FHM while I was at uni, I think. It were reet grim.

There was a celebrity colonic irrigation programme on a few years ago. I think they went abroad and tried a whole host of methods of cleansing their bodies.

The stuff that came out of them was unbelievable

oh dear what have I started. 😡

I've heard thatt making tea out of bracken is a very good emetic.

Honestly - loose leaf green tea. Put a fair bit into a cup. Then post back on here. You will be appalled (not watery- the opposite).

Donk, i remember that article. You're right, it was in a weekend supplement for either the Guardian, Observer or Indy.

Donk, i remember that article. You're right, it was in a weekend supplement for either the Guardian, Observer or Indy.

Probably written up for a few different outlets.

Can I be the first to say you are all* full of shit?

*Apart from Dick Barton and Simon Ralli.

😆

From what i've read in those articles, the blockages tend to be from lumps of undigestable meat. I've often wondered what they find from the output of those who (like me) have been long term veggie or vegan, with a diet that tends to have a higher fibre content & no gristle.

I'd be fascinated to see these horrendous lumps of undigestable meats coming from an animal that is designed to eat meat. It really is just an excuse to have a pipe up your bum and make you feel better about yourself. Nutrients to make up for stuff lost during the procedure - are you in there for days?! I feel fairly sure you can't leech out a significant quantity of nutriets in 1hr, and maybe the tablets are just another method of bending you over for more cash. Of course they can tell what you've been eating, they're looking at the remnants, but do you really need someone to tell you that based on your poo? That's like looking at the smoke from someones dying engine and telling them they should have changed the oil more often.

Funny thing is its not meat thats bad for you- come on. How come Vegetarians arent fine-honed adonis's then?!

I remember that article too - after a week of doing this in Thailand the guy produced a marble that he swallowed when he was about 9.

What you want is one of those Japanese toilets they should sort you out. Gave me a shock the first time I sat on one and started to play with the buttons.

The Thai resort you're talking about was on TV too. Think Celeb Big Brother but with tubes in their arses. They sent zzzzzz-listers (Richard Blackwood, Keith Duffy, Kim Wilde and Tamara Beckwith if [url= http://www.memorabletv.com/onthebox/profiles/celebdetoxcamp.htm ]this link[/url] is right) to "compete" for who could get most crap out of themselves.

This might be the article from the Times you're looking for:
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/travel/article2503425.ece

As somebody who has never had any sort of constipation and has a frequent, regular 'toilet schedule', I struggle to see the benefit of hosing-out by lower intestine. I find it hard to believe that substantial volumes of solid waste are stored for long periods in the gut.

It all seems a bit [i]Gillian McKeith[/i] to me.

As such, it is filed in the placebo/bullsh*t section in my mind.

hey sent zzzzzz-listers (Richard Blackwood, Keith Duffy, Kim Wilde and Tamara Beckwith if this link is right) to "compete" for who could get most crap out of themselves.

Sheesh, how to commit Seppuku with your show business career

Is snopes the new wiki? Never come across it before.

[img] [/img]
http://xkcd.com

The tube is made of glass

Am I the only one who's having flashback images to "one guy, one jar" 😯

No Ones mentioned that great cleanser of the bowels

PICALAX

I did on the last page,and about a barium enema

trout - Member

No Ones mentioned that great cleanser of the bowels

PICALAX

Yes he has, Blutone himself is amongst us

Right this loose leaf green tea thing...what do 'we' do and how long does it take to work? I'm tempted in a sort of amatuer medical/biology experimnet kind of way...so let me know so I can prepare the runway in case I get caught short!

Re the waterskiing, ladies are advised not to wear bikinis when waterskiing due to the cheese cutter effect.

I wakeboard. No colonic irrigation involved.

I think all this internal cleaning is a load of rubbish.

I can think of several episodes suffering from the severe squits (courtesy of poor Asian food hygiene) where there is no chance of ANYTHING being left behind, other than a considerably lighter David_r. In fact I think in some cases I've lost an internal organ and my spine was left protruding.

Funny! - but the Picolax tread is way funnier tho!

I drink looseleaf green tea most days. There's half a mug full next to me right now. I've never noticed it having any influence on my poo at all.