[Closed] Anyone ever felt like just ******* dissapearing

Depends on if you have any dependents or not.

Whats so crappy about your life?

You can live very cheap like that. Worth it for a while.

Yep, had a hateful job, a psychotic housemate who was probably going to get me badly hurt or arrested (just as likely both) and I fell head over arse for a women who wasn't at all interested in me 'in that way' so I buggered off for a year just as quick as I could arrange a working visa for Oz, sort of a 'gap ya' for a budding ****-up. Best thing I ever did.

I was 23, single AF and no kids so it was easy. I'd have to go full Reggie Perrin these days.

But for other people make sure that somebody knows that you are OK just taking a break.

Do it I say. Whilst it might not give you much thinking time it certainly helps decide what you do to enjoy life.. might not set a precedent for your next move but might help you return and face whatever it is frustrating you.

That forum fella, Sharki did that a while ago - problem was, everyone was looking for him!
As Mike says, someone needs to know.

If you're in a position to do it, why the hell not?

It can be great, a real enema for the mind.
🙂

Or a bit of a nightmare.
Depends where your head's at.
If your problems are following you around, you'll have more time and opportunity to think about them.

Have a safety net.
Tell people where you're going and keep in contact.
Write down and photograph all the things that make you happy.
If you don't enjoy it, stop and do something else.
Just the wrong time, this time.

Frequently! I've settled for resigning from my job and taking time out to do other things. Let's see how that goes apart from the fact that I'll obviously have to sell my Santa Cruz what with no longer being a middle aged IT Manager and all that 😆

I can't imagine there are many people on here that haven't at various points in their lives, thought...bugger this, I'm off! I know I have on many occasions.

However, I've come to realise that life is a series of peaks and troughs and sometimes you look back on the troughs and think....what was that all about?

Rather than running off though, look at the bigger picture and see whats caused the current issues and see if you can find a way past them now and in future.

Not quite disappearing, but every time I fill the car up and the readout says 672 miles range or whatever, I start drawing mental circles on the mental maps in my head.

I used to take mushrooms to ground myself, seriously.
When all the shat piled up and started to drown me a quiet trip or two would give me the bigger picture of what I saw as my existence.
Of course the mushrooms didn't sort the problems out but they gave me the perspective to dismiss the niggly, inconsequential ones and sort the big ones myself.

I'm not suggesting you take class A's obviously but whatever gets you there. If you do jump in the car don't forget the shit roll.

What are Luca bollocks and where can you get some from?

I always kept enough to live on for 6 months in the bank.

That way I knew I could just walk out of a job or situation. The knowledge I could do that put me in a more confident position if it was a situation that could be negotiated away.

Don't look on it as running away. If you're getting shit heaped on you, there's no law says that you have to stand under the sewage pipe.

The old axiom is true - "if you keep doing what you have always been doing, you're going to get the same results". So change something, job, location, whatever.

Besides no one knows what life is going to serve at them in the next few years anyway.

I was in the alps about 4 years ago and met a guy at a cheap campsite who did just that. He'd filled a bag, picked up his pinarello and got on a bus. Bought an old volvo 240dl for pennies and hadn't been back in 6months. He posted an "I'm OK" to Facebook every week. But that was the only time his phone went on and all he did. The only reason he gave was he'd been laid off from his nice job and found out his long-term partner had cheated

Yes.

I've worked really hard this year to earn extra cash and have had the rug pulled from under my feet. I'm tired, fed up with the state of the nation (see Budget).

Britain has become a place of quiet survival rather than a pleasant and green kingdom in my view, I'd really just like to piss off TBH.

+1 Pretty much all of the above.

I'd also go somewhere warm at this time of year.

all the time mate and its not because my lifes shit. its not.

i just get itchy feet and want to go on the road - i have extended holidays now and again where we get on the road and its just so good to get out of the ratrace and have nothing to worry about other than your next meal and where your filling your water bottles.

if i played the lottery and won i would be gone. round the world the long way slowly taking in as much as possible.

Have done in the past, will do again in the future I am sure. I see it as part of the balance of life and, in the past, there has always been something holding me back from doing it. Finishing Uni, loans, marriage, all played their parts in keeping me here no matter how much I wanted to go places.

If you have no dependencies, I would say to do it. There will be a mountain pass somewhere that will be epic and will help order things in your mind, or a trail that will suck all the clouds from your mind. You only have to find it.

All I can think of these days. I have two kids though. I've taken to jamming my keys into my arm as hard as I can in order to take my mind off it.

Possibly not the healthiest coping mechanism but it'll do until the health services can get around to helping out.

Yep, all the time. It's very tempting.

I took redundancy in May this year. I flew to Canada mid July and set off down the divide, easily the best thing I've ever done. I was away for three months. There was no shortage of wifi so easy to keep in touch with people at home, I also carried a Spot tracker.

Not quite disappearing, but every time I fill the car up and the readout says 672 miles range or whatever, I start drawing mental circles on the mental maps in my head.

I have done that many times too, I often think of rural places I could get to and stay for a few weeks or months.

I have also been watching Ben Fogle's Lives in the wild recently and seriously considering taking redundancy at work and going somewhere very quiet. I may drive myself mad within a week mind...

I think feeling life that from time to time is all a part of life.
Very few people are properly content with life.

Dont underestimate the beauty and simplicity of a one or two night bike packing trip for the mind!!!

This has bugged me for years. That Reggie Perrin fella. Why does he take his pants off?

Seems unnecessary. You can choose to disappear with grots on as well. I think its probably around the sensation of the north sea on the unfettered spuds.

That puts a whole different spin on the situation.

That Reggie Perrin fella. Why does he take his pants off?

Why not?

I didn't get where I am today by running about with pants on....

[img] ?w=689&h=563[/img]

So several young fathers above want to run away from the responsibilities they willingly enterered into. You made your beds... .

If you're young free and single I don't see a problem, just send people post cards from wherever you go. If you've got kids then you're messing with their lives.

So several young fathers above want to run away from the responsibilities they willingly enterered into.

Very supportive.

We are always looking for "**** ups" in our backwater town in the mountains of Italy, to dig and ride... I was one and 12 years later I haven't moved

Yes, but as the main thing I want to escape is all the crap in my head and heartache, sadly can’t runaway from it

We are always looking for "**** ups" in our backwater town in the mountains of Italy, to dig and ride... I was one and 12 years later I haven't moved

registering an interest....

Sea Temperature right now on Algarve is 20c

https://www.seatemperature.org/europe/portugal/faro.htm

Beer about 1 Euro few miles inland, and a good meal about 6.00

Go for it - just don't take the car long term

Ohhh and their MTB season is just starting after the summer hiatus

Go for it - just don't take the car long term

why is that?

[img] [/img]

I've been toying with this for the past year. This year has been kinda shitty.

I've got the arse and with Germany and its "rules" and ways of living. Trying fed up of being shouted at by walks for riding my bike, be that in Bavaria or Austria, where in Italy, France or Spain everyone gives you waves and smiles.
I feel that things are stagnating. Tax is prohibitive, job is going nowhere. There's not much chance of buying any property, even the dilapidated ones are sky prices and I wouldn't want to live elsewhere in the Vaterland.

The only thing really stopping me jumping in the van and buggering off is the GF....I can't leave her here to pay the rent on her own.

OP, do it.

Edukator - Reformed Troll
So several young fathers above want to run away from the responsibilities they willingly enterered into. You made your beds... .

Hasn’t stopped a large number of Fathers running away never to be seen again, or caught for maintenance payments and the like..
Can’t see a comparison TBH.

So several young fathers above want to run away from the responsibilities they willingly enterered into. You made your beds... .

If you're young free and single I don't see a problem, just send people post cards from wherever you go. If you've got kids then you're messing with their lives.

I don't think that anyone's said they have or are planning to run away from their kids, just that life is so desperate right now it seems like it would be the best option for everyone. In reality it almost certainly wouldn't be but that does nothing to reduce the desire to make the ****ing pain stop.

I'm honestly happy for you that your life is tolerable right now but just bear in mind that this may not always be the case. If everything does fall apart on you one day just a little bit of sympathy from a stranger might go farther than you'd think.

The only thing really stopping me jumping in the van and buggering off is the GF....I can't leave her here to pay the rent on her own.

This, exactly.

OP, as I have done on occasions in the past, just do it. Good luck.

So several young fathers above want to run away from the responsibilities they willingly enterered into. You made your beds... .

This is the bit that troubles me the most. As a dad to a young family, with a demanding job, life can get pretty hectic at times and leave me feeling a bit strung out. But the depth of love for my kids and Mrs outweighs any stresses a million times over.

I'd suggest that if that most natural of instincts is out of sync, there's a serious need for mental health support.

Please fellas, if you're at that point already, get help NOW as you're already on the slippery slope. Don't let it get worse.

Agree - get help - see your GP first - get signed off work and DO take that time away from work.

I see Educator living up to his reputation.

As a father, if I buggered off out of this country it'd be to a place where I could ensure an equivalent or better situation for my family.

My situation got worse today as I found out I was stealth demoted when I swapped roles. This is being investigated by HR. Also I volunteered to brave my flying issues only to find there's 3 seats left on the plane - all at the back.

I've made my Sales target but failed the +25% which would have given the family some extras to look forward to next year.

I walked indoors after two days away from home and a month of regular travelling feeling pretty beaten up,knowing all my Sales opportunities are hard work and lengthy and I won't ever see the glory days of those before me. Life is more testing after the budget hammers home our country's fate.

It would pay us all to remember though that while there's food on the table and we can hug our children, life is good.

[The only thing really stopping me jumping in the van and buggering off is the GF....I can't leave her here to pay the rent on her own.]

Ask her. You never know she may want to tag along as well.

@ kentishman, my GF is staying put 🙁

kentishman - Member
[The only thing really stopping me jumping in the van and buggering off is the GF....I can't leave her here to pay the rent on her own.]

Ask her. You never know she may want to tag along as well.

Many a long talk over this, don't you worry.... She needs to be able to show that she has had some positive effect on the company (she's kinda important, currently has a lot more earning potential and has invested a lot of time there).

If I wasn't for her I've no idea where I would be know, but ironically if it wasn't for her I also wouldn't be in this unhappy status quo that I find myself.

Time out is all well and good. We go away four or five times a year for anywhere between 1-5 weeks. As trail rat days, just having to worry about your water canisters and such is great, but then there is always the reality that you return home and carry on with the slog that is day to day life.

I've a real hankering to buy a canal boat, just do part time work and leisurely cruise up and down the waterways. Been giving it serious thought for a while now. Would need to stay in U.K. for kids and family but it seems like a reasonable and fairly cheap way to drop out of the rat race plus I need to find a cheaper lifestyle as I've **** all pension coming.

We are always looking for "**** ups" in our backwater town in the mountains of Italy, to dig and ride... I was one and 12 years later I haven't moved

PM'd you.

I probably should do (not least to escape a psychotic ex) but I struggle to live in the moment, I'd just be worrying all the time about what happens when I return to 'normality' and have to get a job again etc.

A lot of these 'just hit the road' ideas are alluring but you would deffo need a quarter pound of weed to start you off

Kryton - I frequently can’t help but wonder if you might be better off in a different job. It seems to cause you great anxiety.

Having met a few people who jacked it all in and disappeared off into the wilderness to just surf and live off scraps long term I'd say the problems don't leave you they just manifest in different ways. Don't think I met one who did't seem either bitter and disatissfied or just totally delusional, verging on having mental health issues.

Small changes might make more of a difference thna you think?

Wherever you run to, you will still be there. Trite but true.

There are situations and things anyone would want to run from, but many people need to fix themselves first.

Yes.
As I type this, I'm looking at all my bikepacking kit, as I've been refining it all, and thinking I could easily take a £40k dividend out of my business, and just Foxtrot Oscar.

Not sure how long for mind, but I guess I could stokpile my meds prior...

I did.
Left NZ with a back pack & bike & a one way ticket to Oz.
Things worked out pretty well.

£40k would last a good few years if you chose the right place..

Well I might be having an enforced vacation 🙁

possible plans include spending the winter in Valencia.
got a place over there in the hills just waiting.. riding buddy would be cool!

You just need to defrag. Life builds up headclutter. We look after our PCs but not ourselves.

If you have no dependents then my advice is:

Get yr passport
Small tent/65l rucksack/sleeping bag/SAK
Pay small fee and create profile on HelpX
Plan ahead. Apply on projects around the World for a year. Give yourself a full year. Choose Southern Hemisphere in winter. You can baga gew and then plan on the hoof from there.

Take a few weeks full holiday here and there, although with your HelpX hosts you'll only typically be working 4hrs a day for yr food and accommodation. Be kind to yourself and others.

And read 'The Power Of Now' by Eckhart Tolle

I went the hard route, ie alone, depressed, 44 yrs young in winter with a tent, off-grid. No plans, no helpx/workaway itinerary, no passport. Turned out I got lucky/well-fated but in the course of my wandering I met a lot of people who had done the above and I would deffo go that route with the benefit of hindsight. I've met doctors, builders, animal behaviourists, stoners, writers, engineers, hundreds of people with different qualities and talents...and the thing with working and living among volunteers is the prevalence of positive mental attitude, and, like the fresh water, salty sea and mountain air (choose your locations well) - it's addictive and cleansing at once. And they (usually) share respect for those times when you need to be alone and just *be*. We all need this, some more than others.

Go get it. (Or not)

All the best. (msg in profile if you need links/advice)

Yup, I've had a shitty year in a few ways. A lot going on in my head, car crash, nobody injured luckily, but my fault, and cost me a bit, nearly got killed commuting, parking fine, and just been got 6 points on my driving license.

Got VERY drunk a couople of times, smashed my phone once, offended important people the others.

Just got too much going on, no head space, bouncing from one thing to the next and no real down time.

I'm trying to get rid of all the stuff I've accumulated that I can get rid of and de-clutter my head as well as my storage space.

I have family in New Hampshire, very tempting to go and spend the winter snowmobiling and hunting...

Grrredit:

You can bag a [s]g[/s]few placements and then plan on the hoof from there (check they have wifi)

Oh yes, to the point that I have a rucksack in the garage packed with a few essentials (some clothes, a sleeping back, a few toiletries) that could be grabbed and see me right for a few nights if needed. I've never used it, it's been there for 8 years or so but it's nice to know it's there. The wife has no idea of its existence and likely never well.

Take a week off work, buy a cheap phone to leave in the bottom of the bag (turned off) in case of emergency, get some bike packing kit, and just go. No facebook, no texting, just a week on your own with your bike, a tent/tarp/bivi bag and £100 to buy food etc..

It'll probably be enough for most people to reset and learn about yourself.

I plan to do it next spring, and I think leaving behind any contact with my friends/family is the key, that way I can really forget about everyday life for the week.

It may be good, may be bad, but it's only a week so wont impact anything irreversibly. If it's a good experience, than it'll be two weeks the next time. 😉

i used to work summers then travel in the winter, after 8 or so years of that i figured i should try getting a degree and a job etc (ok, there was one false start in the sequence when just before i decided to get a real job, hated it within a day, and so used to to earn enough cash to beggar off again).

anyhow the long and short is that when i started upon the path i knew that my fall back plan was to go back to what i had been doing, and 30 years later i still could.

its a cliche and a half, the grass is always greener, but i think that is true. escape is a powerful tool, looks idylicc from the other side, but once you step accross its also a very dangerous game to play. ive met many people who have and a lot of them were very lonely.

personally though having read some really good comments on this thread, if you can set yourself up so you can jack it in for 6 months with a safety net to return to, and go do something worthwhile, that helpx looks like it has some good options, and a lot of options just after slave labour, i would.

If you still want to work in London/the rat race, but are lonely... come live where I do... it's like a cross between a lunatic asylum and university halls... but for professionals but with more drugs and naked wimminz.Think being a student again, but everyone is a bit older (although a lot of the women arent) with more cash for booze, coke and hookers.

PM for details.

Felt like this on occasion too. Build a camper van and just do one at the weekend and ride somewhere new for a couple of days then return to the crap!
Of if you choose to, never come back!

I've thought about jacking it in, selling up and spening the rest of my days bumming about the US national parks doing the vanlife thing. I'd love to have a go at the long distance hiking trails over there too.

If you have a bad situation, you can escape from it.

If the problem is yourself, you can fix it.

Neither is necessarily easy, but both are possible. One step at a time gets you there.

[quote=Edukator ]So several young fathers above want to run away from the responsibilities they willingly enterered into. You made your beds... .

Well it kind of depends if you've got a wife/partner you love and who loves you - if you have that and haven't experienced the other side then I'm not sure you're in any position to pontificate. Or at least that's where a lot of the desire to run away comes from in my case - in the near future I'm not going to be living with my kids who I do love anyway, and doing a complete life reboot feels incredibly tempting.

Did the backpack-around-the-world-just-doing-it-as-I-went-along thing a good few years back but even 15months of that didn’t result in anything life changing, saw some awesome places mind...

The selective quoting on this thread/site is dreadful so I'll just requote myself to remind people of the second paragraph which it appears you' haven't read, Aracer, which is forgivable given that you may have only seen the selective quoting.

So several young fathers above want to run away from the responsibilities they willingly enterered into. You made your beds... .

If you're young free and single I don't see a problem, just send people post cards from wherever you go. If you've got kids then you're messing with their lives.

And read through this:

http://singletrackworld.com/forum/topic/if-it-aint-itll-do-till-the-mess-gets-here

Note that several posters criticise the woman for having left her child and think she would be happier going back.

Double standards.

The selective quoting on this thread/site is dreadful so I'll just requote myself to remind people of the second paragraph which it appears you' haven't read, Aracer, which is forgivable given that you may have only seen the selective quoting.