MegaSack DRAW - This year's winner is user - rgwb
We will be in touch
Because of course the answer you want to give (go out riding, fetle my bike, work in my shed, relax with a book or just do nothing) is going to get you that special look that she somehow embodies with a huge range of messages: slight annoyance, hurt disapproaval and patient pity (as if to a child); whilst also conveying a meaning of "that wasn't serrious now was it, so try again and this time give me the 'right' answer" (no clues, no confering)
Apparently my suggestions of things to do are loaded with potential pitfalls - but as I don't know the rules of this particular emotional assault course I'm going to fail....
and somehow, "nothing" is not an answer she understands... it's seen as a null response, a placeholder.... but doing nothing is important, its called relaxing, but apparently relaxing must involve doing something like gardening (a chore in my book) or going somewhere (but without any defined purpose... why?).
Worst of all is when she says we should go shopping for something I need. First off she hates shopping for herself (nearly as much as I hate wandering round aimlessly watching her get fed up of shopping) so why insist that we go shopping for me?
I hate shopping with anyone else, mainly because it takes so long and I can't do the one bit of shopping that I enjoy - namely being distracted by the potential to buy stuff that I shouldn't (bike bits etc) its the clandestine nature of looking at prohibited items that is fun.
If I need something specific (and boring) say trousers or shirts, I go on my own to a shop I know will have what I need get it and get out, no messing around - its achore, do it and be done with it... and never at xmas/new year as I loath people packed into shops, hell is other people so shopping when it's busy is the essence of hell to me.
Is this just me? or am I just being a grumpy sod? Anyone else (male) know the rules we're supposed to follow?
No The rules are random that way you will always be wrong just accept that you will never figure them out 😯
Tell her you fancy sampling her delicious baking.
Badger, badger, badger...what can I say? You've encountered the perennial problem faced by men the world over who find themselves in a relationship. Quite simply, there are no rules to govern what your reply should be. Whenever a girl asks a guy an open ended question it's not a case of delivering the "correct" answer, but rather delivering the "least wrong" answer; it's all about damage limitation. You could try asking, "what would you like to do?" but that opens you up to a whole raft of dangerous possibilities. Good luck!
Rookie. The only answer to that question is "You can choose for a change." Gets them every time.
It also opens up the "you chose the last time" attacking option for next time.
Badger, badger, badger...what can I say?
Mushroom mushroom?
Big Snake?
I have a situation that is worse than the one posted by the OP (or at least i feel it is).
She says - I feel like i need to get out and or do something/go somewhere, basically she's been stuck indoors for the past few days.
My reply is a standard "ok, what do you want to do/where do you want to go"? Given she's the one who wants to do something i feel it should be down to her to suggest what to do. Surely she has something in mind?
No. Her reply to this is "I don't know. What do you want to do" !!!!!!
WTF. It wasn't my idea so why's it down to me to come up with a suggestion?
I offer up a couple of suggestions which range from walking the dogs, popping in to town to shop/eat/drink etc. None of these are what she fancies doing. So i ask her "What do you fancy doing"? The reply is always the same. "Oh i don't know. What do you want to do"?
And so it goes until one of us, usually me, points out that I'm fine with just relaxing & listening to music (we both have different tastes so this causes more problems) watch TV (see the problem with music), read a book etc etc.
Its a vicious circle 🙄
bigsi exactly what happens here!
I figure there are two things goign on:
either 1. she secretely wants to do soemthing but wishes you to be psychic and suggest it
or 2. she hasn't a clue but wants to you to make a huge effort to come up with something delightful and entertaining for her.
OR maybe both!
or perhaps I'm way off and totally in the dark here! 😉
1. she secretely wants to do soemthing but wishes you to be psychic and suggest it
sex?
Haha, @bigsi, had that exact conversation this morning with my (heavily pregnant, five days overdue) wife. Finally decided we were going to drive to the top of the Mynd, wander around within a short distance of the car, and when it got chilly, head down to Stretton for tea and cakes. Good result I thought, went upstairs to get dressed appropriately, came down and she was fast asleep on the sofa. Still is. Still, she's got a good excuse...
I think its option 2 with the added bit about expecting you to be psychic 😯
I often throw in to the mix that although i may be a very talented individual (charming, witty, handsome, a great lover, amazing bike rider & modest to boot) i am not psychic and so unless she actually comes up with what she wants to do we'll be going no where until i feel like i want to do something.
Oh hang on! She's just said we need to go & do something. So I'll be going for a coffee while she figures out what she means by something. 😆
Laters 8)
Badger, I can most definitely sympathise as I frequently experience this dilemma. I suspect it is option 2, but I have no answers 🙁
Sex is the right answer to that question.
HTH
Sex is the right answer to that question.HTH
Yay!! do I win anything 😆
emsz - Member
Sex is the right answer to that question.
Ha. 😯 Not in our house it's not. Sex is what got us into this fine mess in the first place! 😳
S'all right v8ninety. Once you have a baby, you'll not have to worry about it ever happening again 😉
I'm definitely with you on the shopping thing OP, it should be always be done alone, never understood why on earth anyone would want to go shopping with someone else 😕
Men to do it women too 😥 I think the answer is that they want some attention.
What a joy to be asked this question!? Pity those who have no-one to ask it, or have someone who is too unconcerned to ask!
Were I ever to be asked, it would be "Go ride my bike; duh!"
No. Her reply to this is "I don't know. What do you want to do" !!!!!!
She wants to do something, but doesn't want to make the decision, since all decisions carry responsibilty, so want's you to make it, but with her in mind...
No kids? Hit the eject button quick!
I was asked something similar this morning about going to see the wifes cousin so I pulled a face.
Wife gets all uppity about me being miserable on Christmas day and her Christmas was RUINED.
I'd spent half the day in bed ill. I still feel gash three days later.
Does she want cart wheels of something?
Apparently I'm like scrooge. 🙄
I'm glad I'm not the only one. Spent half of Christmas bickering with the mrs over stupid things. She wants to go for a walk today, suggested three different countryside walks none of which are siutable. I'm worried she's trying to trick me into going to town.
When my Father didn't know the answer to any question he always said "Fred Dagg". It was a situationist protest.
But anyway, just have an answer prepped. Whenever anybody says to me "what do you want to do ?" The answer is always "drink pints and play pool". Cos thats always fun and is never a waste of time.
Ikea has lots to walk around 🙁
I feel blessed !
If I get asked "what do you want to do" there are a fair few answers that I can give that we both like doing.
Bikes ?
Pub ?
Bed ?
(or all three ?!)
Easy 
(and as a real kicker, she has no problem at all going out shopping while I watch DVD's on the sofa !)
Much lollage @ mushroom and snake comments!
Yes, like in Shaun of the Dead, the correct answer is "Pub?".
I feel your pain Badge, damned if you do....
I ended up building Mrs Shake a bike to add another option to the problem, shame it's winter 👿
Usually the answer when asked back is "I don't know, you decide!" There [i]is[/i] actually a "correct" answer which we should know. Our ability to fail miserably in choosing this is based in different priorities. The more I learn about differing gender cognitive function, the more it makes sense!
It's even worse when cash is tight as any expensive suggestions are met with stress, anxiety, fire and brimstone! Sometimes I ask what we need to do and then decide on the fun as an extension of where we'll be.
Something I've spotted in your preferred choices is that they are solitary. I think she's asking what you (as a couple) would like to do. The lack of purpose to go somewhere is the sense of adventure we're meant to provide, stagnation and predictability smell like death in a relationship...but are simple realities of life!
Think of something unusual that she likes (probably more than you like) and when it's done, you'll get your shed time and bonus points.
As said; it's always worth seeing if sex is an option 😉
I've found that a good answer to this question is: "I don't mind, as long as we're together".
You will then spend the rest of the day in Ikea.
This would have happened anyway, but at least you now have some brownie points to store for later.