[Closed] Anyone been a surrogate father for a friend?

Hang on, let me get another beer

Nothing to add I'm afraid other than I definitely wouldn't.
Just bookmarking for further comments

Bonkmarked.

Natural insemination or turkey baster?

You're opening yourself up to a world of child support costs, regardless of any emotional problems you all might have if you continue to meet regularly as freinds.

Im guessing it may be something a little more detached than a one night stand type thing. I havnt really explored any further details.

Would grahamt like to expand on his definately not stand? Im not criticising, just talking it out. Being mostly faceless on here makes it easier for me to explore the idea.

Definitely one to go in with your eyes open. It's going to be hard to not feel connected to the child..

Is she aware of your intentions?

She'll find what she needs here: https://www.gotinder.com/

or she could make it more ambiguous: https://www.3nderapp.com/

Simply having had the experience of being a father there is no way i could do it with someone i was not completely involved with.
Simple as that

I have a challenging red haired ten year old I could let her have for a bargain price. PayPal gift only.

He's the difficult middle child. 😉

I am a father and my daughters are now off to do stuff in the world, hopefully off to university this summer. I totally enjoy every second of being a father.
Im also adopted and i know how happy being parents made my mother and father.

Perchypanther, i will also convey your generous offer! He clearly just needs a new bike though 😉

There must be protocols and rules to ensure you don't have to support them even if done privately. Right to anonymity seems to have gone in the UK now anyway so using someone you know may not be totally daft. In the facebook age people will track down their parents anyway.

There will be support groups and forums for this sort of thing. Ask them? People must do it all the time.

I shagged a mate's missus once. Does that count?

You WILL be liable for child benefit costs regardles of what your friend says and what happens in the event of the mothers death?

No

Sure there was some chap who met women at service stations and handed over a deposit.

Im agreeing with the protocol and rules idea. I like this forum as there is a wide range of people and experiences. I wondered if in the relative anonymity of the forum someone may have a little personal experience, or experience of a friend they could relate.

Is she aware of your intentions

As said above you can be deemed the legal parent (despite any agreements you might sign), noted as such on the birth certificate and have full financial responsibility in an agreement like this. Your friend may be better going for an official sperm doner or something similar. I work in IVF and I've set through many sperm doner legal/ethical lectures!

breninbeener - your friend may be perpetually single but what are your circumstances?

I have a partner. Im divorced. Tony, thank you for this input. I wasnt aware you couldnt sign away responsibility.

the first question we all need answering here is, Is she fit!

Yes she is, but a career 30something who seems to work too hard to find time for a decent relationship

So if she doesn't have time for a relationship due to career commitments having a child and being a single mother will fit perfectly into her timetable.....

If she is that busy, perhaps a child wouldn't be a good idea...

If she works too hard to find time for a decent relationship, will she really change her lifestyle enough to allow time to have a decent relationship with her child?

Sounds like others say, she hasn't prioritised her life to want a child. I wouldn't think its a clever idea to do this donation for her. She has time on her side to change her ways if that's what she 'wants' to do and meet someone in the old fashion way. Did she actually ask you to be the donor ? How would your other half react if the woman passed away and you are the next of kin?

I think so. She is a genuinely good person who wants to be a mum. I can total see being a parent being the reason she would draw breath every morning. She has an accommodating career which makes great efforts for parents, so she would get flexi/part time working etc

If she works too hard to find a relationship then she is not ready to be a mother.

Stay well out of it. So to speak 😉

Seriously, she's really not that committed if she can't find time for a serious relationship and you would be ruining your friendship when she realises that parenthood is really the hardest job in the world and she needs your help to get through it all.

Hope it ends well for you both mate. But I would advise extreme caution.

That's coming from a father of a four and six year old in a stable marriage who struggles daily to cope with the rigours.

Its hard hard work!

I appreciate the caveats being expressed. I must admit the expression of the idea made me stop in my tracks. I suspect my gut feeling of 'no thanks' may have been correct.

I may have done her a disservice with my explainations. She works hard which i feel is a displacement activity for her lack of fulfillment in her personal life. She certainly appears to be a 'catch' for someone, but her dating and relationships dont seem to have worked out or provided what she wants.

I think prioritising her life for children is a little wide of the mark as i know she wouldnt have children with just anyone, so as a person i respect her attempting to chose a suitable partner for the creation of a family. Its not lost on me that she can hear her biological clock ticking although she is only early 30s.

Dude, I'll take one for the team. Send me her number..

Your friend may be better going for an official sperm doner

Didn't know you could get them* - always asked for chilli sauce myself...

* Although the exact ingredients in the 'elephant's leg' remain a mystery, so the presence of man-juice cannot be completely ruled out.

Yum!

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Massively disrespectful to your current partner.
Maybe she's not quite such a "genuinely good person"?

Lots of useful info disseminated here.......

Need pictures. Then I can offer advice 😉

Too complicated to get involved helping a friend. Would stretch your friendship and current relationship too far.

A couple of my wife's friends have done the single parent IVF thing when they hit 40 with no partner. They seem to have coped as well, if not better, than many parents I know in settled relationships.

They seem to have coped as well, if not better, than many parents I know in settled relationships.

Not sure being single or couple is the be all and end all for whether your kids turn out well, met some ace kids of single mums/dads and some nightmares from couples

Have a look at sperm donors from the nordic countries, apparently a big industry there

andyfla - Member

Have a look at sperm donors from the nordic countries, apparently a [b][i]big[/i][/b] industry there

you've been looking at mrsfry's porn collection again haven't you....

She should apply to adopt.

I'm sure there was a case maybe a year back where a friend/donor got copped for child support despite having an agreement from the, erm, recipient saying they absolved him of all responsibility.

Kids can be an expensive business, couple of years down the line when times are hard and you might get a strange letter from a lawyer asking for upkeep of little Johnny. From experience of friends having kids in latter life you get used to a certain level of lifestyle which those pesky kids intrude on.

I'm being totally disrespectful here of your friends situation, but from her Work/Life Balance POV maybe this would suffice..

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Maybe one of these:

Don't want legal comeback? Yet you want to sow your oats/sire a child without any financial commitment?

You want to create a single parent family, bringing a child into the world with financial support?

Shallow as a puddle. Even to consider it.