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@bigdummyI'd say in that example it's probably you who's annoying rather than your wife
Indeed I am, as are many people, much of the time.
But periodic annoyingness =/= alcoholism. 🙂
I do wonder about myself. When I lived on my own I'd drink every night, and quite a bit - now I'm a grown-up responsible married man, I drink on weekend evenings and maybe a Thursday night, if it's a bad week. So I drink a lot less than I used to, but still, I do wonder - I do just like drinking, and being drunk. Don't need a reason, I'm happier staying in and watching a film than I am down the pub.
[url= http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/people-who-drink-alcohol-outlive-those-who-abstain-study-shows-8995879.html ]Pissheads live longer than wowsers[/url].
(Yeah yeah I'm cherry picking whatever. Still interesting.)
OP if you're not happy with your level of drinking you should probably reduce it until you are, but for god's sake don't beat yourself up for having a drink if you want one, life's hard enough as it is without paying attention to guilt-tripping puritans.
Not being able to manage without a drink makes you an alcy. A small or large capacity for booze is sort of irrelevant, some of the properly off the rails alcoholics I've know can get smashed on very little booze - a can of cooking lager and they're away, their problem isn't amount they drink, its just that they can't cope with not being drunk
This. OP, if you think you are drinking too much stop and have a break, for your own piece of mind at least. I got to the point where I was drinking minor amounts every evening - a pint of beer, a glass or wine or a G&T - after the kids were in bed. I know it was a crutch for stress relief.
I decided to use Lent as an excuse to give it a break, so I haven't had a drink since mid-Feb - although I'm racking it up for the end of lent of Friday without guilt, becuase I simply enjoy a drink, although not being drunk and have all the responsibility that comes with 2 young Kids to ensure I self-moderate.
As much as I curse them, hangovers always keep my drinking to a reasonable limit. I had a busy social week just gone and spent the weekend in bed feeling rotten.
Someone told me a definition of an alcoholic is someone who can't stop drinking for two days.
Too much of anything is bad for you. If you think enjoying a glass or two of wine with a meal is alcoholism you don't understand alcoholism.
I would define addiction as needing to have a drink to get through the day, as opposed to feeling like one at the end of everyday which is just a habit.
I always feel like having a drink at the end of the day, a glass or two of wine, but don't have to...
Being able to take a break does not necessarily mean all is well.
A relation of a friend started drinking in his early teens but could always stop if he wanted to, often for weeks or a month. This did seem to be accurate, the ability to stop and has remained true all his life. So alls well? Not really...
When he went on a bender every few weeks or months I have been told he would sometimes be bed ridden for several days from the after effects. Some periods he drank large amounts for days or weeks running, in between the breaks. But there were always gaps of weeks at a time.
He is in his 50's now and has developed epilepsy that is related in some way to alcohol, so is on pills all the time. He has liver damage, gout, various other issues including a near death experience from an alcohol related/aggravated gut problem that then involved major surgery and which could come back (yes, he still drinks).
He has no partner, no kids, hangs around with alcoholics. He did have a partner within my memory but it did not last long as I believe he used to hit her when on a bender.
Being able to abstain for a short period of days or a month means nothing, its not much of an indicator if you are an alcoholic or not. Its more complex and indeed more scary than that.
All addicts think they can stop, its a viewpoint that empowers their belief that they are 'ok really, don't have any problem'.
Being 'able to stop anytime I want' also can be used to brush off the fears and distress of the people who have to live with an alcholic.
I know of someone else who was drinking shorts at breakfast and who sunk so low in the 'its not a problem' belief that he blamed his teenage daughter (trying to do her exams) for 'being the problem' when she could not cope with his appalling behaviours.
He lost his wife and kids in the end, when he went straight back to drinking when released from rehab. A man who knew how to put himself first. He got put on a liver transplant list (what a waste of a liver) but died from alcohol related injury before he got one. He was found dead after no one had seen or heard from him for days. It took that long for someone to notice.
He was really loved by his family once. You can destroy any amount of love if you really make the effort....
If you're question yourself...make a change and cut down?
I don't drink as it taste like blurgh except expensive wine in Oz Mmm!
Green tea anyone?