Why, oh why can't you put the spoon you have just used *in* the sink (or better still actually wash it) rather than leave it right next to the sink leaving a coffee stain on the work surface.
FFS.
Not just you.
Also the tap in the kitchen at work has a pull out nozzle which never ever gets push back into the tap so it always looks broken!
Maybe i do have OCD after all 🙂
sniffers /thread
Consider yourself lucky Johndoh I have to put up with that same situation at home... perhaps the passive aggressive "loud tidying" will eventually get the message across.
a carrier bag of raw chicken and liver has just been pulled out the back of the fridge at work.
It's rotting and dripping everywhere.
The student placement who put it there will be strung up for this as he's a vile and disgusting little git
Working.
Girl I used to work with would quickly "clap" her hands together a few times (as if removing all crumbs/flour) every time she'd taken a bite of her sandwich and placed it back down.
This becomes something akin to chinese water torture when you're trying to work while she is eating 🙂
I think eating at your desk should be banned in general.
Theres a new Gareth Cheeseman type sales bloke in our office who puts on a ridiculous false laugh when on the phone to clients. So he sounds like Father Barty Dunne, the Laughing Priest
I'm already spending my days thinking of Utopia-inspired grimly violent torture scenes for his premature and imminent death
Eating at your desk (opposite me) with your mouth open.
STOP IT.
Edit:
Girl I used to work with would quickly "clap" her hands together a few times (as if removing all crumbs/flour) every time she'd taken a bite of her sandwich and placed it back down.
The geezer does this also.
Microwaving huge quantities of steamed green veg and making the whole floor smell like someone has sharted.
Bloke opposite me listens to music all day. No problem with that at all, except every five minutes he insists on singing a random lyric with my name inserted somewhere. It's literally impossible to concentrate on anything, even STW.
Microwaving Fish
Rubbish in the compost
Not using the bog brush
Not even flushing
Picking nose and wiping it on cubicle walls
Whistling, whilst listening to music via earphones.
Last week was Christmas carols!
we have the fat hoover bastard, if any food is placed in the office he will appear and just scoff the lot. Allegedly a diabetic he will eat anything, last week there was a buffet and some of the left overs were brought in, he at an entire pack of kettle chips and a pot of dip in about 15 minutes. People are actually hiding stuff from him these days.
lyric with [b]my name[/b] inserted somewhere
Be afraid, very afraid.
I'm thinking that's not the only insertion he wants to do.
The loudest bloke in the office complaining very loudly that other people are too loud.
The ability to talk a glass eye shut.. Why explain something in 1 minute when you can do it in 20 minutes. FFS
Nothing like a sweltering day to make even being talked to a struggle not to punch someone in the face...
Women. Air-con.
girls in the lab moaning at me for being messy, ****s the lot of them lol
One colleague constantly taps his feet and bobs about. Another has just devoured a plate of pilchards on toast. Roll on home time.
girls in the lab moaning at me for being messy, **** the lot of them lol
This thread isn't for you. It's about you.
I don't like it when they breathe.
Ya, the fatty sitting beside me has the tendency to:
1. Tell me he is having sandwiches of different kinds. Then hoover up his launch at work desk so quickly I thought he would choke sometimes. i.e. sometimes he eats so fast he would cough then he would quickly down nearly half a bottle of drink to dislodge the food. If he chokes in future I will just sit there and watch see him turn blue.
2. Then proceed to munching a pack of crisp loudly.
3. Then to complain about others' noise while he speaks loudly.
Another one has the tendency to speak on her mobile loudly to demonstrate her importance ...
🙄
Loudly eating fruit - take a bite of apple, then slurp, no, actually suck, the thing to get any juice off the newly bitten section. Crunch, slurp, crunch, slurp, crunch, slurp...
The days he brings nectarines instead of apples are the days I do as many "away from my desk" tasks as possible.
Recently, staying at shithole hotels and telling everyone how much money he's saving the company. Thankfully the new president thinks he's a tit for that, but at some point i'm sure we're going to hotel allowance cut. Moron.
belching, farting, picking nose.......oh wait! 😳
In our old office I got so sick and tired of people not washing up after themselves (then loudly moaning there were no clean plates etc or sink was full etc) that I just binned the lot.
Caused abit of fuss but it meant people brought in their own treasured plates and bowls.......and they washed those/didn't want to share them.
8)
A lady who I used to work with used to put her wet cycling gear (including lycra shorts) onto an electric radiator by her desk to dry them out after a wet commute.
I never ever want to be put through that set of smells ever ever ever again.
Ever.
Untidy kitchens and toilets annoy me. But, I think I'm probably high on peoples list as annoying though. Some of my traits;
Eating at my desk
Eating 3 to 4 meals at work (and using too much fridge space)
Sometimes fish or liver (not at my desk though)
Walking around bare foot
Farting (not at my desk but it sometimes follows me back)
In our old office I got so sick and tired of people not washing up after themselves (then loudly moaning there were no clean plates etc or sink was full etc) that I just binned the lot.
You know what Hora? Occasionally.... very occasionally... your weird and incomprehensible world view comes up with something closely resembling genius.
The guy I'm working with today calls everyone 'mate' even women. It gets annoying. He also cant touch type and hits the keys with his forefingers really loudly, especially space bar. In fact he's doing it right now. Does everyone's head in. He gets very stressed out very easily and loves doing as much work as possible when he could just be having a nice relaxing steady day instead.
Fish should be banned from work microwaves. If someone's cooking it in ours you can usually smell it halfway down the corridor through two closed doors and a set of stairs.
Working at home on my own I have to make my own irritation.
I've been stopping myself making a cup of tea for the last half an hour.
Deleted, on reflection.
Women with large chesticles stretching their arms up and behind their head.
They know what they're doing. Bastards.
Binners it caused abit of a fuss but I was sick of it. Someone used to even streak food up the white wall by the bins and down the sides of kitchen units. We only had a cleaner in once a week but (I know) these folk thought 'cleaning' was beneath them and in no way in their job description.
Another irritation (I suppose this is universal) - when someone talks about their life non-stop, what they did etc in minute detail and their interactions with their friends etc.
No one is that interesting. I bet even Brad Pitt would come across as a dullard if all he did was talk and moan about agents, his lunch, his girlfriend, where he went last night, what time he got out of a taxi, what time he sat down at (name) restaurant, what he ordered... zzzzz
When you ask a colleague what they did at the weekend you expect a 'hey we did this' (in a snapshot). Not a critical path spanning 10minutes.
I think someone's hacked Hora's account; that post makes too much sense.
Another has just devoured a plate of pilchards on toast
one colleague used to buy cheese and raw onion sarnies, pick out all of the raw onion, and dispose of that in the clingfilm in someone else's bin 😉
used to really annoy the secretary, when she couldn't work out who was the culprit for making the smell in that corridor.
Another has just devoured a plate of pilchards on toast
We had one- She used to eat sat at her desk and put (half eaten) plastic microwave containers into bin next to the desk...... Then wonder WONDER why there are countless little flies in the office.
There is a woman here who insists on telling everybody how busy she is, for at least an hour each day, at the top of her voice...
There was also a very good looking blonde lady who used to deal with contractor employment and when she wanted to discuss rates or something we were not to hear, she would go around a corner (about 2 metres from her desk) and talk really loudly. I am sure she thought if she couldn't see us then we couldn't hear her 🙄
One guy who when they eat has to put as much in their mouth as possible each bite,why!!?
Also when they're holding the sandwich in two hands they still have to move their head towards it rather than move the sandwich to their mouths,wtf! And then make sucking noises like its trying to escape.
Most days I have to time my own lunches away from the desk to avoid it all, else I'd go mad.
Thankfully the guy who had breakfasts at a desk nearby and sucked his fingers, left.
Misophonia is a condition in which you are easily annoyed or angered by little sounds. Such as your coworker who eats or breathes too loudly.
Seems a few of us have this
Annoying habits of colleagues...
...not being able to find their arse with both hands. Out of their depth in a car park puddle. Delusions of mediocrity. Depriving a village of an idiot.
You get the picture.
I hate the way the MRI won't stop BUZZING.
Annoying habits of colleagues......not being able to find their arse with both hands. Out of their depth in a car park puddle. Delusions of mediocrity. Depriving a village of an idiot.
You get the picture.
Amen sister - sums it up for me
I suspect some of you need to work somewhere where you have to work more and piss around less, if half this stuff bothers you
Only speaking to me when they want something but preceding the question with several other questions about my family or worse still cycling exploits.
FFS just ask the bloody question.
One bloke who will moan about anything and everything and manages to suck every last vestige of joy and happiness out of the office.
He'll even moan about stuff he's completely wrong about and when you correct him, he'll just say 'ah, yeah but...' before either carrying on in the same vain, or moving onto his next subject...
Coffee rounds. The insistence that under no circumstances should you make your own coffee, unless you're also making it for everyone else. If it's not your turn, you should wait (usually several hours) until someone else makes it, otherwise you become the office bitch and waiting times extend while everyone waits for YOU to make it. Again.
Then when it arrives, it does so with a completely different set of ingredients than you asked for, in someone else's unwashed mug, still with bits of their lip stuck to it.
I just drink water now.
General cleanliness, or lack of. Using the tea towel in the kitchen (the one that is used to clean the dishes) to dry your hands after taking a dump. Or worse still, using to wipe away any remnants after you've been sick...
It might be a bit OCD, but when you sit somewhere 8 hours a day, you notice these things.
Whistling. Anyone who whistles a merry little tune, in any location, deserves to die horribly.
I had to leave B&Q once because the sound of some old git whistling was carrying over the entire store.
Yes, I am aware that I have a problem.
@martinhutch - I hear you loud and clear, I can't stand whistlers, esp when it doesn't go anywhere i.e. it's not tune just ****in whistling.
Located in city centre of Edinburgh ~ I have to put up with bagpipers outside my office, right now the arsehole is just playing a scale constantly 😈 So none of my colleagues habits are half as annoying as that.
we have a loud bloke too, one of those proper rentagobshites who cant shut the eff up all day long. bla bla bollocking bla, feels the need to voice every single thought and emotion that pops in his head, and its not a mouse voice either, its a big booming bassy bastard that grates & makes me wanna tear my hair out. He is obviously also an expert in pretty much everything in the world and what he doesn't know he has a completely staunch yet uniformed opinion of it! he also has to better or one-up everything anyone else says, if ive been to the moon he's been to mars type of thing. he also says 'cool' a lot, A LOT!
......... he's just piped up "ahhh, think ill make a cup of tea in a minute,,,, " then a few minutes later "right cup of tea time, making a cup of tea, hope theres enough milk in the fridge, anyone know if theres enough mil... (hes reached the fridge by now) COOL, yeah. loads of milk , cool, cool"
anyone else would just get up & silently brew up, not this tee-wat. he riles me so bad, i would love to repeatedly slam the fridge door into his head....
Where to start.....
turning up 40 mins late for a job, then spending 2 hrs talking about the job/slagging it off, rather than getting on with it.
getting upset when they have to work past 1330 (after arriving late).
Buggering off to the cafe for 90 minutes every day!
Or the sort of colleague that, if you were to ask them the time, they explain how a watch works for the next 30 minutes...
By 'watch' I assume you mean solar rotation meter...?
I just remembered the most annoying sound in all of Christendom, flip flops slapping the soles of feet as they walk through the office.
8)
In our old office I got so sick and tired of people not washing up after themselves (then loudly moaning there were no clean plates etc or sink was full etc) that I just binned the lot.
You know what Hora? Occasionally.... very occasionally... your weird and incomprehensible world view comes up with something closely resembling genius.
Agreed!. I view hora in a similar way as I did kaesae. An idiot, but he's [i]our[/i] idiot.
[img] 
[/img]
martinhutch - Member
Whistling. Anyone who whistles a merry little tune, in any location, deserves to die horribly.I had to leave B&Q once because the sound of some old git whistling was carrying over the entire store.
Yes, I am aware that I have a problem.
HA HA! I do this. Mainly as a location sounding beacon for my wife if we go to look for different things in a large shop and then can't find each other.
Rather than bothering to look for her when all that would happens is we'd follow each other around just out of sight, I will find something relatively interesting to look at and stand in the same place, but start whistling.
Going in on their day off and not being paid.
Brown nosing losers.
Whistling. Anyone who whistles a merry little tune, in any location, deserves to die horribly.I had to leave B&Q once because the sound of some old git whistling was carrying over the entire store.
Yes, I am aware that I have a problem.
We used to have one of those. His nickname was "Thrush"
He once asked why when he found out, "is it because I sound like a songbird?"
The reply, "no, you are an irritating c*n*"
As a student I worked for a big distillery company based in Elgin.
Big Steve whistled, a lot, but only one tune and only the chorus. Que sera sera still makes me rage uncontrlably.
On the positive side there was a very large samples room,containing samples from raw spirit to 50 years, which I felt the need to frequent every time he whistled. I never drove to work as I knew I'd be over the limit by the time i left.
Can't you just tell him to "shut the f*** up" in a reasonably forceful voice? I find this works fine on the few occasions I've had to do it.we have a loud bloke too, one of those proper rentagobshites who cant shut the eff up all day long. bla bla bollocking bla, feels the need to voice every single thought and emotion that pops in his head, and its not a mouse voice either, its a big booming bassy bastard that grates & makes me wanna tear my hair out. He is obviously also an expert in pretty much everything in the world and what he doesn't know he has a completely staunch yet uniformed opinion of it! he also has to better or one-up everything anyone else says, if ive been to the moon he's been to mars type of thing. he also says 'cool' a lot, A LOT!......... he's just piped up "ahhh, think ill make a cup of tea in a minute,,,, " then a few minutes later "right cup of tea time, making a cup of tea, hope theres enough milk in the fridge, anyone know if theres enough mil... (hes reached the fridge by now) COOL, yeah. loads of milk , cool, cool"
anyone else would just get up & silently brew up, not this tee-wat. he riles me so bad, i would love to repeatedly slam the fridge door into his head....
What bugs me is people moaning about stuff in their office but not having the balls to do anything about it.
People who when you ask them how they are, or how their day's going, are always BRILLIANT. **** off, we don't want to hear about how brilliant everything is, we want sob stories and disappointment. How was your weekend? Well my car went on fire. That sort of thing.
The ones that leave the bogs in a shocking state
I hate the 'trap roulette' you have to play.
Do I get the one with a skidded/pebble dashed /unflushed bowl?
Do I get the one with p**s all over the floor?
Do I get the one with the sweaty/sh**y smear on the back of the seat*
Oh great, must be my lucky day. I get all three in one cubicle 🙄
*just how bad does someone's personal hygiene have to be to manage this??
joshvegas - MemberMicrowaving Fish
Rubbish in the compost
Not using the bog brush
Not even flushing
Picking nose and wiping it on cubicle walls
if it wasn't for the compost comment I'd swear we worked in the same place.
A female colleague's timbre and vocal mannerisms are only able to be coped with by realising what a **** I must appear to her.
I worked with a lad who would complain about the state of the kitchen then proceed to leave his empty wrappers and plate on the canteen tables. On more than one occasion I collected his shite up and delivered it to his office at the other end of the warehouse. He was completely oblivious. If he had not of complained in the first place then I could not have given two ****s.
Happily, I've reached a happy compromise on this level. I've positioned my desk so the only people who sit near me work for me. If any of their habits disgust me I simply sack them on a trumped up charge and then hire someone who does not have a disgusting habit.
Also, if I need a poo and someone hasn't flushed the toilet or scrubbed the pan clean, I simply threaten one of my terrified staff into going and cleaning it all up for me.
Other people using the last of my wet bum wipes and not buying a new packet.
Having to listen to other people take a dump when I'm in the toilet...
I reckon I have the shits once every other year on average, share a toilet with about 100 people. That should mean once a week the toilet gets destroyed. But almost every time I go in there, there's some guy breaching the peace like a whale clearing prunes from it's blowhole.
What do these guys eat? Canteen is pretty good!
Only a minor thing, people who use 4 or 5 sheets of paper towels to dry their hands after taking a leak, the company must waste so much money!
People who complain about wasting company money.
Infact anyone who goes above and beyond for the company.
The whole it will be noticed that i do overtime attitude.
I once worked with a senior manager who thought it was okay to hack-up a great gob of phlegm, flob it into the sink, then leave it stuck there like a dead jellyfish.
He didn't do it in front of people, but his culpability was determined by a process of deduction.
Ironically, he liked to present a facade of being Mr. Social Conscience. Evidently, this didn't extend to the cleaner he assumed would chisel it off the enamel for him.
Farting (not at my desk but it sometimes follows me back)
Oh surely we all absent mindly lift a buttock and squeeze one out from time to time. No?
wwaswas - Member
Working at home on my own I have to make my own irritation.I've been stopping myself making a cup of tea for the last half an hour.
If you want to really wind yourself up, piss on the toilet seat and throw bog roll around the bathroom.
Oh surely we all absent mindly lift a buttock and squeeze one out from time to time. No?
I find the fan on my desk useful for helping shift accidental air leaks.
People who cough without covering their mouths get me - especially if sitting opposite me.
I find the fan on my desk useful for helping shift accidental air leaks.
People who cough without covering their mouths get me - especially if sitting opposite me.
He he, so it's ok for you to blow your farts at them with a fan, but not ok for them to cough and not cover their mouth.
😉
martinhutch - Member
Whistling. Anyone who whistles a merry little tune, in any location, deserves to die horribly.
I had to leave B&Q once because the sound of some old git whistling was carrying over the entire store.Yes, I am aware that I have a problem.
Shop whistler here too! sorry about that....... Oh i hum random tunes too if that makes a difference!
One of mine is lovely, but has no social filter between brain and mouth, so everything that's going through her mind leaks out of her mouth.
Bless her...I do have to say "TMI, Becky" every single time she mentions anything to do with the monthly moon fairy or her frequent dicky tummy.