MegaSack DRAW - This year's winner is user - rgwb
We will be in touch
In honour of our forth-coming plunge into the self-reliant Atlantic abyss post-Brexit, I got wondering what an all-British Britain would look like. What would we eat? How would we dress? What would we drive?
If we get rid of all those damned foreign foods like pasta, pizza, oranges, bananas, baguettes, etc., and all those foreign cars with foreign parts, etc., what would life be like?
Starting with what is genuinely, 'indigenously' British, but then allowing for some concessions from our 'natural' allies the Americans, what do you think life would look like?
I figure we'd be digging for root vegetables, eating mutton joints (when meat is available), drinking cider, and eating pears or apples for dessert, while our 1971 Austin Mini sits parked on the street outside our house, unable to move because, well, it never really drove properly to begin with.
Any other snapshots of self-reliant British bliss?
Ram that.
Depends on how far back you want to set the point as what is described as British.
Going to have to go back a long way before what some call foreign muck goes away ~0BC
Given how depressed the whole thing is really making me feeling, I'm with Nobeer.
Before that even, the “British” Celts had trade with the continent long before the Roman invasion.
all-British Britain would look like. What would we eat?
Wouldn’t you not see it? I thought you were from Canada OP?
No fear of a 1950s Britain. Brits have taken to fighting ‘globalism/continentalism/the EU by eating American fast food and worshipping social media/US politics.
Salmon.
Venison.
Beef.
Beer.
Whisky.
An All-British Britain = very, very grim. It's not what Brexiteers voted for anyway, they wanted all the brown people out (obvs excepting the ones who work in the local curry house, cos you know they're actually OK).
Reality is we've been a melting pot of cultures, materials and peoples since before the Romans but it really ramped up during that period, people from Europe, Asia and Africa all came to Britain along with food, technologies and belief systems.
STOTTIE
Brexit doom aside
Being British inherently involves the appropriation stuff we like from elsewhere to some degree or other. As is the case with many cultures. I’m not sure I’m aware of anyone I’ve ever met that’s closed themselves off from anything not British tbh.
So I’ll carry on with the Pizza and continental beers thank you very much.
I remember when this shit show started that some purple faced fool was advocating breeding rabbits and growing potatoes.
This whole thing is making me utterly miserable. I've spent 30 years working for European manufacturing companies. My German colleagues can't understand why we've hit the economic self destruct button and neither can I.
Austin Allegro
Artic Roll
The Likely Lads
Brew XI
Atom Heart Mother
May I recommend (it's a three parter):
Salmon
Foreign mid-atlantic muck. Close that border now.
Chicken Tikka Masala
Salmon.
Venison.
Beef.
Beer.
Whisky.
Domesticated Barley and Wheat comes from North Africa and West Asia. 🙂
And hops we have to thank Pepin the Great of Germany for 🙂
You can make beer without hops.
I'm pretty sure beer was being in brewed in these islands 4,000 years ago. That surely qualifies?
We'd mainly survive on frozen sausages that should be planted with hammers in all Brexiters lawns before Jan 1st.
Turnip, carrots and tatties.
ad nauseum.
Reality is we’ve been a melting pot of cultures, materials and peoples since before the Romans but it really ramped up during that period
Paleolithic cave paintings use the same dictionary of abstract symbols all over Europe. You see the same cup and ring marked stones in Orkney and Italy. The romans are practically yesterday on that basis.
Turnip, carrots and tatties.
ad nauseum.
Peruvian Tatties?
advocating breeding rabbits and growing potatoes.
Both forin.
I say bring back the Empire! But who do we invade first?
Criteria must be they can't nuke us, and we must a bigger army/navy than they do. Extra points if they have some resources we can exploit. There must be a fair few countries we can target?
Does Rees Mogg already have a list prepared?
Plenty of evidence of the people who built the stone circles (5000yrs ago? ) trading across Europe
As is the case with many cultures. I’m not sure I’m aware of anyone I’ve ever met that’s closed themselves off from anything not British tbh.
You’ve never met my parents generation? I believe they voted overwhelmingly in favour of a white-bread 1950s.
They may drive a Skoda or Hyundai and buy every single piece of China-produced US-market-focused plastic tat on offer from the local ‘retail park’, but they don’t see that as ‘foreign’ not in the same way as they do ‘foreign people’ or ‘foreign foods/muck’.
I say bring back the Empire! But who do we invade first?
France, solely to annoy Edukator
How far back are you going? I share 60% of my genes with the sami people of lapland - and other traces are mainly germanic tribes with a bit of norse
the Queen is a german. PM is a turk
Probaly less than 10% of brits would actually have a majority of genes from the people who came here over the land bridge at the end of the iceages
I can't believe that for all the fuss elsewhere, no-one's mentioned fish yet. Once we've taken back control of our waters we can look forward to pickled herring and chips for tea! (So long as Ireland doesn't annex all the spuds.)
France has nuclear weapons so think we should skip them. Belgium might be good - chips, mayo and beer in abundance there?
Chicken Tikka Masala
Invented in glasgow in the 70s IIRC - the Gaylord indian restaurant? ( or is this an urban myth?)
I want to be drinking water out of my bare hands... none of this foreign beaker nonsense.
I say bring back the Empire! But who do we invade first?
Time for revenge on the scandenavians? Those ruddy vikings are why I have blue eyes ( or maybe germans?)
or is this an urban myth?
naw, no an urban myth, just pure shite!
They may drive a Skoda or Hyundai and buy every single piece of China-produced US-market-focused plastic tat on offer from the local ‘retail park’, but they don’t see that as ‘foreign’ not in the same way as they do ‘foreign people’ or ‘foreign foods/muck’.
Do they live in a bungalow?
You’ve never met my parents generation? I believe they voted overwhelmingly in favour of a white-bread 1950s.
They may drive a Skoda or Hyundai and buy every single piece of China-produced US-market-focused plastic tat on offer from the local ‘retail park’, but they don’t see that as ‘foreign’ not in the same way as they do ‘foreign people’ or ‘foreign foods/muck’.
Excepting the car (my parents don't drive) this is them to a 'T'.
This whole Brexit thing has put an enormous strain on our relationship from my side. Fully understand the right to your own opinions etc. but some of the "rose tinted good old days" shite really boils my blood. I tried explaining to my dad that Brexit will make it very difficult for his grandchildren to work in Europe should they wish. His answer? "Well what would they want to do that for?"
Some people really do think that things were better in the 50s and 60s.
Some people really do think that things were better in the 50s and 60s.
There are loads of Spanish who think life was better under Franco, too. Must be an old-age thing. When I'm 80 I plan to tell my grandkids how much better life was when I was off my tits somewhere in a field in Hampshire.
Invented in glasgow in the 70s IIRC – the Gaylord indian restaurant? ( or is this an urban myth?)
I heard it was a result of a patron wanting some gravy with his tandoori chicken.
Given there were Abyssinian legions on Hadrian’s wall I think, they were here before the English and the English should go home and leave Britain for the Abyssinians.
The Scots also pre-date the English I think but not by much.
And Arthur was a British hero who held up the English advance into Britain for a generation.
Alternatively, maybe the SNP have it right? It’s not where you’re from, it’s where you’re going.
depends on how far back you want to set the point as what is described as British.
which reminds me of this:
No beer
https://www.glasgowlive.co.uk/news/history/tikka-masala-curry-glasgow-restaurant-12015915
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/glasgow_and_west/8161812.stm
thats the story Tom
shish Mahal not Gaylord tho
Well, if you instantly removed anything not British from Britain in one go, then yes you'd lose a lot. However if you went back in time and cut Britain off then things would be different by now, depending on how far back you went.
As a random example - British cars were shit, back then, but things would have moved on. Development tends to be in fits and starts as it responds to influences which respond to each other, so eventually someone would have gone 'well this is shit' and started changed things which would have forced the development of better stuff.
Same for food. We buy spicy interesting food because we like it. If we only had British food, we'd have come up with better recipes, instead of simply eating say Italian food. Just because 70s British food was shit doesn't mean it would have stayed that way.
You can make beer without hops.
https://www.williamsbrosbrew.com/beer/fraoch/blockquote >
A fantastic drink
Just because 70s British food was shit doesn’t mean it would have stayed that way.
Exactly. We had delicious food in the 1580s, the 1780s, and the 1880s. Italy still rely on pasta and tomatoes so they didn’t even get to develop pies like we did. Imagine the pies we’ll have in 3080!.
As for ‘beer’ I had some 1503 Tudor ale a few weeks ago. It was right up there with barley wine. No need for imported hops or (as someone said) for hops at all.
You can make beer without hops.
I think you mean ‘ale’? Beer is foreign.
while hops were being legislated into beer on the European Continent, it seems they were being legislated out of beer in the British Isles, notably by King Henry VIII, who in the 1530s forbade the use of hops outright at his court. He considered hops an aphrodisiac that would drive the populace to sinful behaviour
All the so-called Hereford hops hereabouts are picked by foreigners anyway, do you think it’s a coincidence?
Once Brexit’s done we can also go back to proper chips, which are so different to today’s pale imitations that for emergent British generations the old chips will taste like a new invention.
What have the Romans ever done for us?
PM is a
turkturdFTFY.
As a random example – British cars were shit, back then, but things would have moved on. Development tends to be in fits and starts as it responds to influences which respond to each other, so eventually someone would have gone ‘well this is shit’ and started changed things which would have forced the development of better stuff.
I don't actually agree with this completely. Having grown up in Canada, we had a lot of American cars on the road and all of my relatives drove them, so I got to know them quite well: big beasts with massive engines, plush, velveteen seats, suspension that made every car feel like a 1970s waterbed... And you know what? By the time I left North America in 2003, the damn things had hardly changed. In fact Chrysler was just starting to boast about having revived the gigantic 'hemi'!
There was real stubbornness when it came to technological refinement in the American motor industry - almost along Trumpian lines - and this is something I see in the worst of the British psyche as well.
So I think that, as much as it's nice to believe that we would have progressed in Britain, there is no guarantee we wouldn't be exactly like the American automotive industry: still thinking we've got it right, even while the rest of the world develops and leaves us in the dirt.
In case proof was needed...
I say bring back the Empire! But who do we invade first?
Norway.
1) The Royal Marines regularly practise invading Norway.
2) It's local
3) They have got a fishing deal with the EU
4) They have got lots of money we could use to pay off our debt
How far back are you going? I share 60% of my genes with the sami people of lapland – and other traces are mainly germanic tribes with a bit of norse
'kin Saami's, comin over here with their good looks and tandem seal-skin canoes.
Imagine the pies we’ll have in 3080!.
By then we'll have the technology to pies that don't have pastry on the top as well as ones that don't have pastry on the bottom. (although thats exactly the 'Game Pie' I was served about two months ago in Gairloch 🙂 I must have fallen through some sort of temporal anomaly )
More fish. More curry. Bendy bananas.
And more Australians.
Surely we'd be able to enjoy any of the fine foodstuffs we pillaged from around the world during the Empire or before?
So chips would still be on the menu.
No chips, those spuds being from forn' parts
I think you mean ‘ale’? Beer is foreign.
Ale is foreign too. I think we'd be left with mead, and no-one wants mead.
No chips, those spuds being from forn’ parts
My point was that we should be able to keep foods which we took from the undeveloped countries which we subjugated when Britannia ruled the waves.
My point was that we should be able to keep foods which we took from the undeveloped countries which we subjugated when Britannia ruled the waves.
Yes. Britain is a sea faring trading empire with access to the whole world.
Anything else is just pre-Roman Celtic barbarians with blue arses and constant fighting. Much like Scotland.
Anything else is just pre-Roman Celtic barbarians with blue arses and constant fighting. Much like Scotland.
What about the picts?!
As a random example – British cars were shit, back then,
I would gladly have an Austin Healey 3000, MGB, TVR, Lotus Seven, E-tyoe etc etc over any of your modern muck. Beautiful, sound like a car, fun to drive, even the nostalgic smell of warm oil and petrol waftng into the cabin.
I would gladly have an Austin Healey 3000, MGB, TVR, Lotus Seven, E-tyoe etc etc over any of your modern muck. Beautiful, sound like a car, fun to drive, even the nostalgic smell of warm oil and petrol waftng into the cabin while you're waiting for the breakdown truck.
With the food shortages that might be happening I vote we eat the Brexiteers. A naturally slow creature with a ruddy complexion and meaty belly. Quite docile, but can be quick to anger. Best way to trap is by attaching fishing line to a copy of the Daily Mail and luring them in to a room of cyclists and foreign looking people. Whence they will immediate expire from bottled up rage. Tastes of gammon.
Shit! We can’t have pineapple. What are we supposed to put with the gammon?
Do they live in a bungalow?
👋
Being British means the exploitation of other cultures by force if necessary.
while you’re waiting for the breakdown truck.
Which will have probably broken down itself.
On a related note, I guess this would be the lifestyle wagon of choice...
And we'd be riding scaled-up versions of these...
pffft stewart lee said it all already up there^^^^
I have no intention of eating a brexie.
All that rage and stress will make them tough as hell and taste like s***.
Mind you it may work that the only way to beat them tender enough to eat is with a big cricket bat, but I would get too tired to cook them.....
domestication of Wheat & Barley was about 10,000 years ago in the fertile crescent, so Nile valley, Turkey, Syria, Iraq type region
If youre going that far back Britain was contiguous with mainland europe anyway
at which point we possibly looked like the cheddar man interpretation here
oldest evidence of booze in UK is from about 2.500 years ago
Neanderthal were here before us and we we still carry some of their genes (including susceptibility to covid19, the bastards!)
Without that Turkish fella there’d be no Mini on the driveway in the OP. At least, it wouldn’t look the same; more like a Reliant Regal I’d guess.
Watching Brexit from afar, I imagine it’s all going to look like a Cold War Steve picture.
Do they live in a bungalow?
Hey I live in a bungalow. It doesn't mean I'm missing something upstairs.
Everythings from India anyway
https://scroll.in/video/906733/watch-for-20-years-goodness-gracious-me-has-found-indian-roots-to-everything-in-the-world
I object to the premis of this thread.
It's not about what's past, it's about what nation we want to be.
(I sound like a Scottish politician with that statement.)
The people of Hawick will be dancing in the streets of, err, Alnwick tonight!
But who do we invade first?
Criteria must be they can’t nuke us, and we must a bigger army/navy than they do. Extra points if they have some resources we can exploit. There must be a fair few countries we can target?
The vatican - lots of resources, not big enough to have many troops...
I wonder how many Brexies are actually ethnically British. Even in Wales the ethnic British in the north voted remain and the ethnic English in the south voted leave. As I recall of course.
Yeah backwards looking and tragic in equal measures. I could've said nothing as a I have nothing to add other than the concept makes me shudder.
So I think that, as much as it’s nice to believe that we would have progressed in Britain, there is no guarantee we wouldn’t be exactly like the American automotive industry: still thinking we’ve got it right, even while the rest of the world develops and leaves us in the dirt.
A lot of things were developed in the UK though. In so much as anything is developed in isolation. British Telecom did lots of innovation before it was turned into a private company for making money.
It would be like the 1970s - so shit
It would be like the 1970s – so shit
I'm a child of the '70s.
Oh.
Wait.
Someone better want to eat all the bloody fish that seem to be all important to this cluster****.
would gladly have an Austin Healey 3000, MGB, TVR, Lotus Seven, E-tyoe etc etc over any of your modern muck. Beautiful, sound like a car, fun to drive, even the nostalgic smell of warm oil and petrol waftng into the cabin while you’re ̶w̶a̶i̶t̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶f̶o̶r̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶b̶r̶e̶a̶k̶d̶o̶w̶n̶ ̶t̶r̶u̶c̶k̶.̶
Fixing it with string, a coat hanger, a pair of tights and a jubilee clip. Not like your ultrasanitised, completely divorced from the experience, sterile modern 'car'.