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Alice Roberts broke my laptop, and other stupid things that have cost you money

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[#13535624]

 

 

Dr Roberts was on Desert Island Discs and inspired me to dig out a Sisters of Mercy CD (I know, I’m old). I pressed the “Eject” button and the CD drawer opened, tipping over a bottle of Peroni into my laptop.

A £600 error.


 
Posted : 20/05/2026 11:23 am
kelvin reacted
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The story was a disappointment after an excellent clickbait title.


 
Posted : 20/05/2026 11:31 am
sillyoldman, nicko74, prawny and 10 people reacted
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Sorry.

 

How about : A killer whale once broke my mum's camera?


 
Posted : 20/05/2026 11:34 am
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Posted by: Harry_the_Spider

Dr Roberts was on Desert Island Discs and inspired me to dig out a Sisters of Mercy CD (I know, I’m old). I pressed the “Eject” button and the CD drawer opened, tipping over a bottle of Peroni into my laptop.

Aye, right....

image.png


 
Posted : 20/05/2026 11:36 am
 Drac
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Ah yes it was Peroni that made it a sticky mess. 


 
Posted : 20/05/2026 11:38 am
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I didn't know CD drawers ejected with such force. However,.......


 
Posted : 20/05/2026 12:01 pm
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None of this makes any sense

How are all these things positioned so closely together that this could occur? Is the hifi with cd player on your desk? why not just listen on the laptop even if you have the cd? couldn't you just plug the laptop into the hifi? does you laptop have the cd drive in? 


 
Posted : 20/05/2026 12:20 pm
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The circle of trust doesn't seem too stong here Harry, do you have the spunk to fess up and tell the truth?


 
Posted : 20/05/2026 12:30 pm
blaggers reacted
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CD player is on the kitchen island. Door opened and caught the top of the bottle.


 
Posted : 20/05/2026 12:32 pm
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Unconvincing euphemisms are unconvincing. 


 
Posted : 20/05/2026 12:58 pm
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I don't know, in a little Britain MPs list of excuses

Door opened and caught the top of the bottle.

 

So to speak 😉 sounds pretty convincing to me .


 
Posted : 20/05/2026 2:59 pm
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Ozzy Osbourne caused me to loose my entry fee to a Gorrick XC race..

I used to deliver papers to his house on a Sunday (News of the World and Sunday Times). He gave me a generous tip at Christmas which I spent on my first ever pair of SPDs. After a few days of carefully getting used to them, I did what everyone does once and forgot I was clipped in. Fell sideways onto a tree stump, broke a rib or two and was too sore to race the following weekend.


 
Posted : 20/05/2026 3:16 pm
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Posted by: franksinatra

Ozzy Osbourne caused me to loose my entry fee to a Gorrick XC race..

You sound a bit Paranoid


 
Posted : 20/05/2026 3:35 pm
integra, geck0, MoreCashThanDash and 1 people reacted
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How on god's green ringpiece do you catch the neck of a bottle with a drawer which opens with a spring the strength of a butterfly's fart, knocking it towards the laptop rather than away and propelling it several inches into the air?


 
Posted : 20/05/2026 4:13 pm
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Posted by: Cougar

How on god's green ringpiece do you catch the neck of a bottle with a drawer which opens with a spring the strength of a butterfly's fart, knocking it towards the laptop rather than away and propelling it several inches into the air?

In Harry's story defence, the CD drawer was in a HiFi that was on the kitchen worktop next to the laptop. Because, come on, who doesn't have a HiFi on their kitchen worktop?


 
Posted : 20/05/2026 4:18 pm
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a Sisters of Mercy CD (I know, I’m old)

Floodland is one of the finest pop albums ever recorded.


 
Posted : 20/05/2026 4:18 pm
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Because, come on, who doesn't have a HiFi on their kitchen worktop?

 

Island. 


 
Posted : 20/05/2026 4:25 pm
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Potato/tomato


 
Posted : 20/05/2026 4:32 pm
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Posted by: Harry_the_Spider

Because, come on, who doesn't have a HiFi on their kitchen worktop?

Island. 

How's the cable management? Please tell me they're managed.

 


 
Posted : 20/05/2026 4:33 pm
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FFS want a photo?


 
Posted : 20/05/2026 4:38 pm
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Posted by: Harry_the_Spider

FFS want a photo?

Careful, this is how it starts, first he sends you a photo, then he'll want one back...


 
Posted : 20/05/2026 4:44 pm
roger_mellie, citizenlee, reeksy and 2 people reacted
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Hang on....

Desert ISLAND....

Kitchen  ISLAND....

...errr, that's all I've got

 


 
Posted : 20/05/2026 4:46 pm
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Posted by: Harry_the_Spider

FFS want a photo?

IMG_1541.jpeg


 
Posted : 20/05/2026 4:46 pm
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Posted by: IHN

In Harry's story defence, the CD drawer was in a HiFi that was on the kitchen worktop next to the laptop. Because, come on, who doesn't have a HiFi on their kitchen worktop?

Ah right, that makes considerably more sense.  The prosecution rests, m'lord.


 
Posted : 20/05/2026 4:49 pm
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Posted by: Harry_the_Spider

Posted by: Harry_the_Spider

 

FFS want a photo?

 

 

IMG_1541.jpeg

 

Looks like Harry's going to be buying another laptop


 
Posted : 20/05/2026 5:06 pm
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My music system (not hifi separates) is on my kitchen worktop. I just carried out a test and ejecting a CD managed to push a bottle of Leffe off the bench. I did catch it.


 
Posted : 20/05/2026 5:16 pm
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Hang on....

Desert ISLAND....

Kitchen  ISLAND....

...errr, that's all I've got

Dessert Island 


 
Posted : 20/05/2026 5:25 pm
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Posted by: maccruiskeen

Hang on....

Desert ISLAND....

Kitchen  ISLAND....

...errr, that's all I've got

Dessert Island 

Thousand Island - about the right consistency for gumming up a laptop (maybe a little lumpier than what Harry's had to deal with)

 


 
Posted : 20/05/2026 5:36 pm
nicko74 reacted
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So my kitchen sonos system has saved a fortune, as it can’t knock beer into vulnerable electronics. 

She was great on Dessert Island discs. She use to roller blade round the children’s ward when she was a doctor.

But that was a while back


 
Posted : 20/05/2026 5:57 pm
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Lauren Laverne and Dr Alice Roberts were in your ears and on your mind, and you claim the stereo did it?

Aye.

Right.


 
Posted : 20/05/2026 6:27 pm
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Posted by: TheArtistFormerlyKnownAsSTR

The circle of trust doesn't seem too stong here Harry, do you have the spunk to fess up and tell the truth?

 

This is a situation where it's probably in everyone's interest the truth isn't revealed 

 


 
Posted : 20/05/2026 7:09 pm
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Fantasy Island?


 
Posted : 20/05/2026 7:40 pm
 feed
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Posted by: kelvin

a Sisters of Mercy CD (I know, I’m old)

Floodland is one of the finest pop albums ever recorded.

i do like sisters of mercy and have listened to Floodland recently but this statement is definately over egging how good the album is. 

 


 
Posted : 20/05/2026 7:40 pm
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There's actually a side story to this - is it only me that's impressed that HTS was drinking Peroni when Desert Island Discs was on? What is it, 10am?

 

Sunday mornings at your gaff really are a pit of debauchery. It would seem...


 
Posted : 20/05/2026 7:43 pm
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According to TAFKASSTR - Epstein ISLAND


 
Posted : 20/05/2026 8:10 pm
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Posted by: thestabiliser

According to TAFKASSTR - Epstein ISLAND

 

Strange comment, but maybe I've missed the joke

 


 
Posted : 20/05/2026 8:48 pm
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I've re-enacted the moment.

 

image.png


 
Posted : 20/05/2026 9:29 pm
leffeboy, hot_fiat, Drac and 1 people reacted
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Debauchery


 
Posted : 20/05/2026 9:36 pm
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Posted by: Harry_the_Spider

I've re-enacted the moment.

Hmm, I'm not convinced this is a true representation of what happened on that fateful morning in front of the computer. M'lud


 
Posted : 20/05/2026 9:40 pm
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Is the council for the prosecution suggesting that my client was viewing a "left handed website"?


 
Posted : 20/05/2026 9:50 pm
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That laptop works fine.

Insurance fraud and onanistic desecration of one of Britain's top academics. You monster.


 
Posted : 20/05/2026 9:56 pm
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Posted by: Harry_the_Spider

Is the council for the prosecution suggesting that my client was viewing a "left handed website"?

 

Hmmm, lefties, definitely dodgy. Guilty as charged

 


 
Posted : 20/05/2026 10:02 pm
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image.png


 
Posted : 20/05/2026 10:04 pm
leffeboy, Drac, citizenlee and 5 people reacted
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As an anatomist Alice has seen plenty in her time, but that's clearly one of the more disappointing ones.


 
Posted : 20/05/2026 10:15 pm
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Posted by: kelvin

Floodland is one of the finest pop Goth Rock albums ever recorded.

FTFY.


 
Posted : 20/05/2026 10:35 pm
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