[Closed] AIBU - Christmas lunch for Muslim employee

I work with quite a few Muslims, although all of them are the clean shaven types if male and only one wears a headscarf - they're the ones organizing the bloody christmas party!

This isn't based on any evidence, but it feels to me these days that a lot of Muslims feel more British than they did during the Afghan and Iraq wars - and are joining in with a lot more cultural practices.

Which kind of sucks because it also feels as if the white British rejection of multiculturalism has had some kind of delayed effect - and are reacting now, to what happened (mostly) between 10 and 20 years ago.

I'm an atheist. I find them oppressive and a bit Christian-centric but they can also be a bit of f<span style="font-size: 0.8rem;">un and good nosh.</span>

Don’t worry about it, I guarantee they are used to it, let’s face it, you cannot avoid it.

Goodwill to all men anyway

If Tommeh has taught us anything they want it banned. In reality they’ll join in their own way and will celebrate the birth of Christ as much as the majority of us do.

Haven't most firms switched to 'winter holiday' or 'end of year' party instead of mentioning the c word?

The muslims that I have worked with have always joined in with the Christmas meals / parties and looked to enjoy themselves as much as the next person.

I always tried to make sure that there was an acceptable food choice for them in addition to the vege one if it was me organising it but other than that there never seemed to be any special treatment requested or expected.

My mate Saima does as much of the socialising as anyone else on our team. We make sure that restaurants have good options for pescatarian and no alcohol in the cooking and it's all fine.

I'm an atheist and I join in too. The only thing I don't do is Secret santa because I can't abide needless spending on unneeded stuff that just has a negative impact on th planet but nobody minds when I say no

Haven’t most firms switched to ‘winter holiday’ or ‘end of year’ party instead of mentioning the c word?

None that I have worked for.

Never yet worked with someone who objected (subject to a sensible venue and food choices, but that would go for most folk to be honest). Remeber Jesus was in the Quran too, it's just that in the Muslim faith they dont give him as much credit as in the Christian!

Haven’t most firms switched to ‘winter holiday’ or ‘end of year’ party instead of mentioning the c word?

"In the old days you could get up, "sing the Horst Wessel song, "the song of the Nazi Party in the '30s, "go out of the house, go to the motorway, "lie down where all steamrollers are and be crushed to death, "and while you were dying, recite a Mike Reid routine from the '70s "as loud as you like, "and then all worms and rats would eat you and shit it all out "in the shape of an anti-Semitic symbol.
"And now they're going, 'Oh, don't do that.
What if it annoys queers? ' "It's political correctness gone mad.

My Muslim colleague wants to get right on it at the Xmas do.

Hth

Haven’t most firms switched to ‘winter holiday’ or ‘end of year’ party instead of mentioning the c word?

I've never heard of anywhere actually doing that. It sounds like another load of tripe that gets brought up every Christmas like the Winterval thing.

No one is trying to ban Chrostmas or rename it, the problem is that many folk actually believe it when the Daily Mail print nonsense like that.

I have no idea if I’m being over- sensitive

Well, ask one question..

"are they a human being?" If the answer is Yes, treat them like one.

Simple innit.

It used to amuse me a bit when I was in the prison service that the Muslim lads got the best of both worlds. A big scran up at the end of Ramadan (which was ace) AND Xmas dinner but non Muslims only got Xmas dinner (which was crap).

I was alright (Jack) cos I got invited to the Eid do as I was cool with the Muslims. Or they mightv'e been cool with me, not sure which.

No one is trying to ban Chrostmas

Well apart from Poopscoop.

Just ask them. I doubt there's a single proper christian coming to ours.

I don't think there's a one size fits all answer.

Being culturally a Muslim or Christian is not necessarily the same as being a practising or devout one.

The really radical/appropriate option is to ask anyone affected what they think either directly or by getting to know them before party planning season. It's a pretty well established holiday period and unless your employer happens to be a Christian religious organisation the odds of anything worshipful are limited I'd guess.

 The only thing I don’t do is Secret santa because I can’t abide needless spending on unneeded stuff that just has a negative impact on th planet

Um.. I don't think that's just the secret Santa bit. 😉

I can’t see how a Christmas work party could be construed as an event that is celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ and venerating him as the Lord God (which is where Muslims reject his deity)

If we want to be offended on behalf of others at the Christmas do then perhaps tutting at the levels of drunkenness & cavorting would be more appropriate?

Mmmmm cavorting

I got a call from someone who wanted me to quote for some wardrobes. He lived in the "Citizen Khan" part of Birmingham. When I got there the family had just got back in from visiting Santa's grotto. Their house and attire showed they were clearly Muslims. They could see I was a bit confused about where Father Christmas fitted in to Islam.

"Nice man, generous, got a beard? Of course he's a Muslim!"

99.9% of ‘Christmas’ parties are simply parties that are held at this time of year rather than parties that celebrate Christmas.

Most of the work Christmas parties I went to when I could be bothered involved me waking up the next day thinking they were the work of Satan.

My Muslim colleagues love joining in the celebration of one of their prophets, just without the resultant pub crawl bit.

Appreciate Muslims have been discussed due to religion of person OP knows, but other religions are available.

Our Christmas parties tend to be organised by a Buddhist and attended by Hindus, Muslims, Sikhs, Atheists, Agnostics, possibly Christians (there is a view by the others that if you're white you must be Christian). It's just a party.

I'd say its entirely possible to celebrate Christmas and ignore the Christian aspect entirely.

I should add that we do generally observe most religious festivals too and nobody seems to take much offence.

Essel, you were missing one, Diwahli. All three FTW.

Just have a halal, fish or vegetarian option and you'll be all good

Essel, you were missing one, Diwahli. All three FTW.

Don't think Diwahli was ever celebrated as we only had a handful of Hindus in at any one time whereas we'd have 150-180 Muslims.

I’d say its entirely possible to celebrate Christmas and ignore the Christian aspect entirely.

Yep. Most of the UK population mange it well enough.

😀

Back to the OP though - why do you ask if you're "being unreasonable"?

Just have a halal, fish or vegetarian option and you’ll be all good

This 👆 with some fruits or if you wish some dry dates (but dates must not produced in Israel if possible). General halal food is fine. If they wish to be really strict even the blood in the fish must be properly cleaned out.

I grew up in a Muslim village and my good friend is a devout Muslim (not extreme) but he is always on guard with me coz I like to test/tempt him with haram food for fun. 😈 😆

I like to have fun ...

If they've got beards, they could come as one of the Three Wise Men?

My work has rebranded it as a winter holiday but they do have a Christmas lunch. As someone who celebrates our winter solstice etc I’ve recently enjoyed the hospitality & generosity of Jewish, Muslim & Hindu folk during their various hols. Their food is better than ours.
I say just crack on , invite them and apologise for the bland cuisine.
If they don’t come , they have to stay in the office while you all have the afternoon off. 😉

Haven’t most firms switched to ‘winter holiday’ or ‘end of year’ party instead of mentioning the c word?

Not outside of the Daily Express, no. Most (all?) "Muslims wanting to ban Christmas" tales are on the back on one random well-meaning but misguided non-Muslim quarterwit in some random local council overthinking it leading to fury erupting political-correctness-gorn-mayd headlines designed to whip a bit of hatred against brown people. Again.

I don’t think there’s a one size fits all answer.

This is the correct answer, really. An individual cannot speak for an entire [insert demographic here] group of people. To the OP, why not just ask the people at work in question how they feel about it?

I once asked an Asian guy I worked with what he'd think about receiving a Christmas card and he said he'd be offended, something about promoting a faith other than Islam. But that was the opinion of one bloke and I don't think for a moment he's representative of all Muslims. Plus he was a weird ****er anyway. (-: If I remember, next week I'll ask the ****stani lad on our team what he thinks, I strongly suspect I'll get a far more moderate answer.

I'm a reformed militant atheist and I celebrate Christmas. Getting together with friends and family, being nice to each other, giving gifts to loved ones and eating yourself half to death, what's not to like? That's the "true meaning of Christmas" for most people these days, not some fable about a bloke who claimed to be the messiah a couple of millennia ago.

Not outside of the Daily Express, no. Most (all?) “Muslims wanting to ban Christmas” tales

Well my current large FTSE 100 employer has managed to avoid all mention of the c word in anything official for past couple years now. Previous large multi billion company with 20000+ uk employees also moved away from it. Wasn't anything to do with Muslim demands either (doubt very much there would have been any anyways), HR and Social Responsibility/Impact teams almost exclusively run and staffed by white middle class women.

HR and Social Responsibility/Impact teams almost exclusively run and staffed by white middle class women.

I really feel for you bud. It's tough being so oppressed.

good nosh

I don’t think this has much to do with religion, but it is a bit ‘forward’ at a work do, surely?

I really feel for you bud. It’s tough being so oppressed.

No need to. There are no middle class people working in my part of the company...

Why would it be an issue?

Only Arseholes get upset about other people’s religions, or pseudo religious piss-ups. Religious people aren’t by default arseholes, most IME really aren’t a-holes.

As for Muslims specifically, Christianity and Islam are very closely related. Jesus is an important part of the Islamic faith so a party to celebrate an important Prophet.

My parents lived in the Middle East for years, they have more Christmas shit in the shopping malls of Bahrain than even the U.K. or US they love that shit.

Most of the work Christmas parties I went to when I could be bothered involved me waking up the next day thinking they were the work of Satan.

It's an easy mistake to make, especially if you are dyslexic.

Not outside of the Daily Express, no.

The large multi national I work for seems to prefer "holiday" or "holiday season" on the global communications including the truly crap christmas cards. Local is more Christmas branded though up to and included having the "choir" sing christmas carols.

I would have thought the main problem for an observant muslim would be the one shared by all teetotallers. How can you look people in the face the first working day after the christmas party when you can remember what they got up to and they cant?

No need to.

Ah cool. For a minute there, I thought you were feeling that way. I guess you were just mentioning the middle class women for context. Or something.

Apart from offering alternatives to Pigs in Blankets and sausage meat stuffing I cant see the issue with the OPs works Christmas meal.