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i have a friend who is as tight and self obsessed as you can believe, to the degree his 'the world owes me a living' attitude is a great form of comedy to me an the wife. cruel? maybe, but its funny.
so, last year we thought he had excelled himself when he bought his wife a toaster for christmas, just a toaster mind you, nothing else. and the only reason he bought that was that their existing one stopped working a few days before the 25th meaning he could'nt have toast with the fried breakfast his wife makes him every day.
incredibly though this year he has done better. he stopped by yesterday and told us that he had got his wife an excellent gift and best of all if had not cost a penny... you could'nt make this up... its a jamie oliver recipe book that someone had emailed him.
this has got me thinking, what can i find that is nasty and above all free, in a similar vien to the jamie oliver book, that i can pop into my wife's pressie stash as a joke.
anyone have a good suggestion?
What's nasty about the Jamie Oliver book? Other than the author?
A brand new email address.
One of those charity pens you get with the donation plea through the mail.
and how did he get to be your friend? What do you have in common?
Hmmm. The free thing doesn't work for me. For true nastiness you need to look like you've spent a lot of money. It needs to appear at first to be the only thing they're getting.
To this end household appliances are what you need.
Miele Cat & Dog vacum cleaner for Valentines Day? She was always complaining that the house was dirty. Possibly should have bought a nice present as well.
A frozen dog turd? Plenty about this time of year...
2 years back my lovely other half opened a brush and shovel in christmas morning, took a while for the red mark on my face to go Where it hit me at 50mph, but it was funny and her real prezzie was nice
going to try beat it this year
My dad once bought my mum a pair of axle stands. Truth!
...to be fair it was a jokey present. But I always had to ask HER if I needed to borrow them....!
an axle stand is classic, love it.
What about vacuum cleaner bags? This works even better if you've got a Dyson.
If she asks, just point out that you don't even know where the vacuum cleaner is, and that she should make herself useful and go make you a snack or something.
A snow shovel.
e-card, few argos pens, some ring binders from the office so she can sort out your old bank statements for you 😀
forgot to say, the first 3 presents mrsconsequence will open are wrapped up wiggle cardboard boxes with nothing in them.... jsut empty boxes from old orders i've been stashing at work for this very occasion.
after all, its more the unwrapping isnt it 😆
Phil you've got to put something inside them!
They need a bit of weight to them or she'll be on to you. Ideally they need to make an interesting rattle as well so that she can shake them and try to guess the present...
there's some crushed up a4 paper, and some brown packing stuff and an empty padded envelope in each box.
she's already picked them up and here's how it went:
"you've just got me air havent you?
"well you never know, there might be a kitten in there"
"nooo i know you wont get me a kitten you'd want to do the whole RSPCA thing and get them around to inspect the house first"
"you're forgetting one thing... I'M ALLERGIC TO CATS!!"
"but we are getting a cat in the future yeah?"
"no"
"well i dont know what present could be so light?!"
"air"
"nooo, i know you... you're being sneaky and there's something lovely inside.... i love you" *kiss*
"you'll have to find out on christmas morning ;)"
.... its air 😆
Phil - I love you too now. Mwah.
she better appreciate all this quality christmas air! after all its no like i've spent just under 1 1/2grand on a new pc and camera for my biking advetures 😯
Hmmm, I'm thinking there could be some mileage in telling her the camera and pc are in a roundabout way for her too. Well you can always offer to take pictures etc of her...
I'm thinking there could be some mileage in telling her the camera and pc are in a roundabout way for her too
maybe i could try that with the fender strat, marshall amp and multi fx box that i've, ahem, bought myself for christmas.
oh, hang on! i've already told her that the amp and fx are for my 7yr old and the electric guitar i bought him. ; )
argos pencils, now theres a good idea!!
i think i've hit the jackpot with becca to be honest, she likes it when i spend money on myself.. i'm better at buying things that make me smile than she is. if i gave her a turnip with some googly eyes stuck onto it then spent the money i would've on her on something for myself she'd still be happy.
strange creature but worth keeping 🙂