[Closed] 50 Shades of Grey...The Movie.

'Hurt me!' she begged, raising her skirt as she bent over the workbench. 'Very well,' I replied, 'You've got fat ankles and no dress sense.'

Why? Send her on her own or with friends. By all accounts it's absolute crap. Actual prawn is available.

I might go and hang around outside the Odeon and pick off horny women coming out... The leg work's all be done, innit.

G

'Hurt me!' she begged, raising her skirt as she bent over the workbench. 'Very well,' I replied, 'You've got fat ankles and no dress sense.'

"Give it to me. I'm so wet, give it to me now" she screamed

She could scream as much as she wanted, she wasn't getting the umbrella.

It'll be like Transformers IV, massive commercial success, totally panned by every critic (and without the guns and robots).

50 shades of vanilla

Take her but also tell her youve booked tickets to the Torture Garden Valentines Ball afterwards
(although im sure its probably sold out)

I can imagine how bad this will be. The better half seems oblivious to this, however.

Q for the girlies: I don't find him hot, is it just me?

Howdo Footflaps, my treat was to go and see Magnum in Liverpool last week. In fairness she came with me, but she really really enjoyed the gig. (Magnum were brilliant) 😀

Shortly to be reviewed on r5 by Senor Kermode.

Pfft! Just get some proper grot on, and watch that with her! 😀

It can't possibly be worse than the book can it?

When stuck on a barge for a few days, with very little actual work to do, I "half read" the 3 books.

I can honestly say, they are the worst books I have ever read, ignoring the pron bits, the writing is terrible, the background plot is so bad and absolutely ridiculous in everyway.

The pron is very lame as well.

They make the Da Vinci code look like Great Expectations.

Howdo Footflaps, my treat was to go and see Magnum in Liverpool last week. In fairness she came with me, but she really really enjoyed the gig. (Magnum were brilliant)

🙂

Not bad for a bunch of OAPs (and a mid 40s bassist)!

Yup, at times I did wonder if Bob may need help off the stage.... 🙂

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My missus booked two tickets for this on Saturday - completely oblivious to the fact i'm going ot be in Chamonix snowboarding 🙂 She's now going with a friend and having a sleep over.. dirty bitches. 😈

I really don't get the fuss. Far as I can tell it's self-serving Twilight slash fiction with the characters renamed, packaged up as an "erotic" tale when it's really smoke and mirrors for an abusive relationship. I should probably watch it at some point though, just so as I can form an informed opinion.

Still, if it means women get to read / watch soft-core grot in public without shame, I'm all for it. In a couple of decades maybe we'll be enlightened enough for the lads to be able to do it as well.

Q for the girlies: I don't find him hot, is it just me?

Given the froth half the work force here seem to be in, I think it's just you.

[quote=Cougar ] it's really smoke and mirrors for an abusive relationship.I'm seeing a lot of these comments on social media. It does seem that some folk can't differentiate between fantasy and reality. When I went to see Star Wars as a youngster, I was intelligent enough to realise that The Force didn't exist and that the Death Star wasn't about to obliterate my home. Have we reached a point where all fiction needs to be accompanied by a warning at the beginning?

Some top posts here.

Critics seem to have been quite kind so far. I tried to read the book, how much mummy porn could I stand? Not much was the answer, very dull.

OP I don't envy you but as Valentines chores go there are worse.

MrsBouy raised her left eyebrow to this whilst it was on the BBC news.

I
Am
Still
Petrified.

😕

When I went to see Star Wars as a youngster, I was intelligent enough to realise that The Force didn't exist

I used to hang upside down from my bunkbed and try and levitate my toy lightsabre off the floor, like luke does in the Wompa cave

50 Shades of Grey

They've made a film about John Major?

I'm seeing a lot of these comments on social media. It does seem that some folk can't differentiate between fantasy and reality.

Of course, and that's a very valid point. It [i]is[/i] fiction, after all.

The problem is, well, just that; how many blokes are going to watch it and go "oh, that's how BDSM works is it? It's perfectly ok for me to be a controlling stalker, then" or girls similarly thinking that it's ok to be treated that way. It's normalising abuse.

EDIT: here, read this, you'll see what I'm getting at. http://theconversation.com/fifty-shades-of-grey-is-just-an-old-fashioned-romance-thats-the-problem-37440

And of course, I hold my hand up that I might be completely wrong. I've formed an opinion based on ignorance (of the film) as I've never watched it. I could be doing it a complete disservice.

It's normalising [s]abuse[/s] crap movies

FIFY

The problem is, well, just that; how many blokes are going to watch it and go "oh, that's how BDSM works is it? It's perfectly ok for me to be a controlling stalker, then" or girls similarly thinking that it's ok to be treated that way. It's normalising abuse.

I hazard a guess that it will be next to bugger-all.

By all accounts it's absolute crap

[quote=Cougar ]how many blokes are going to watch it and go "oh, that's how BDSM works is it? It's perfectly ok for me to be a controlling stalker, then" or girls similarly thinking that it's ok to be treated that way. It's normalising abuse.So the answer to

Have we reached a point where all fiction needs to be accompanied by a warning at the beginning?

I guess what will be fun will be those that go and choose to see the movie in fancy dress (cough) and the long list of people who are going to try and claim the fact they stared shagging in the cinema was due to being overly aroused by the movie.

Its going to be a social media phenomenon

How many blokes watch porn and believe that's the way it is in real life for other people?

I'm afraid there is no accounting for humans who are so intellectually disadvantaged as to think that this shit is even remotely related to an acceptable way of living life.

watch it if you want, just don't hold it as realistic, I learnt that the hard way after watching LOTR, I'm now banned from the shires shopping center in Leicester.

50 Sheds of Grey

How many blokes watch porn and believe that's the way it is in real life for other people?

I suspect a lot. Even before the internet people used to film whatever tickled their sexual fantasy and now it gets uploaded to the internet. A lot of it IS real life.

I won't comment for 50 Shades specifically because I have neither seen nor read it, but I'd be extremely surprised if there was anything in it that doesn't go on in relationships in real life for some - possibly many - people.

worth putting up this link again (VNSFW E.T.C) http://www.fiftyshadesgenerator.com/ 🙂

Please let it be filmed in black and white 🙂

I'm seeing a lot of these comments on social media. It does seem that some folk can't differentiate between fantasy and reality.

How many blokes watch porn and believe that's the way it is in real life for other people?

Just saying.
and of course mark hamill and james earl jones did not really have a fight with laser swords and push stuff around with the force but those two people on grot-tube did just physically do what you watched them do.

*Their and their partners role in it, rather than thinking sex is bad

Surely thats what larping is all about.

In the spirit of Raceface's link above, another one for you,

[url= http://www.pornolize.com/translate/?lang=en&url=http://singletrackworld.com/forum ]Also, as with that earlier link, contains many very rude words. [/url]

Fire brigade expecting increase in emergency calls as a result of 50 Shades [url= http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-31428072 ]BBC News[/url]

In the spirit of Raceface's link above, another one for you,

1600g 29er wheelset recommendations

but this raised a smile

The deep throating STW Ski & Snowboard thread. The wad pulling 2014-2015 season - 23…40 41 42 1440 CaptainFlashheart

50 Shades of Grey = 1 shade of shite ©

The other half seems to be very keen on seeing this, I however am more keen on DIY and that is not a euphemism. As to Cougar's noble quest for an informed opinion you can take one for the team and let us know Monday