I mean in person, not on the TV.
Mine's incredibly childish but I remember laughing so much at the time, I could hardly breathe. College, circa 1980-something, been out on the beers and one of my mates decides to light a fart having been ridiculed all night by the rest of us because we thought it was an urban myth. The "artiste" sat on the chair, brewing, for at least 20 minutes, then when the time was right, suddenly adopted the "legs akimbo" position and held a lighter to his @rse. There was a momentary pause, a little straining and then - hey presto - a dancing blue flame around the crotch. I absolutely creased. Apparently dangerous to do in the buff though because of "blowback". You have to have a layer of fabric separating @rse from flame, otherwise you'll flambe your descending colon. One of my engineering friends nodded sagely and said that it was "the Davy lamp" principle. Still not sure if he was winding me up.
Edit: Sorry - shouldn't have put in bike forum. Forgot to click dropdown.
I still chuckle when I remember my friend lying in a crumpled heap in a puddle. We were walking back from the pub and he decided to leap frog quite a tall post box. He vaulted it very well but hadn't allowed for the stamp machine clamped to the side. He landed astride it before falling to the floor in pain.
I think that beats the time my friend tested his new big kite on the beach near Bristol. After fighting with it for a while before it pulled him over then dragged him along the mud-flats in and out of the puddles for quite some distance. I must dig out the video.
By a professional comedian - midnight show at Edinburgh Fringe 2 or 3 years ago, Adam Hills and Jason Byrne. Now Adam Hills has a prosthetic foot and I don't recall how, but Jason Byrne ended up wearing the foot and charging round the stage, leaving Adam standing on one leg in the middle of the madness. It's hard to describe how funny it was.
By a drunkard. In the station, a Friday not long before Christmas, middle aged woman totally hammered tottering towards her train, starts to wobble, starts to topple, reaches out for nearest thing, unfortunately it's a luggage trolley, it sort of stops her fall at an unfeasable angle for what seemed like ages then suddenly the trolley launches across the concourse and she hits the tiles with a huge thump. Laugh? I nearly shat. (I think she was OK, just humiliated and a bit bruised).
By my burd. Playing scrabble, she wins, she's dancing round the room with her hand on her forehead with the loser sign (an "L" with thumb and forefinger). But the L is the wrong way round...
One of the bands I am in over here in Germany were on tour and I was in a car with the other guitarist and the singer while the rest of the band were in the bus with some other bands from the local scene. We were playing in a smallish town and we weren't sure where the venue was. It had been raining quite heavily during the day and there were loads of deep puddles everywhere. There were a couple of girls pushing a pram next to one particularly big and deep puddle. The guitarist, who was driving the car, drove full pelt into the puddle then slammed on the anchors completly drenching the two unfortunate girls.... they both looked like they had jumped fully clothed into a swimming pool. The singer wound down the car window and cool and polite as you like asked for directions to the venue. The two girls started to complain to which the singer replied that it was only a bit of water. In the end they actually gave us the correct directions. I was in the back seat trying to hide the fact that I was doubled over in agnony from laughing so much!
Well, you really had to be there, but when I was about ooh, 13 or 14, me and my dad were in a menswear shop somewhere, I forget. I'm trying on trousers, and my Dad is being made to try on some beige chino shorts, the kind the smart model men are wearing in catalogues at the time. My dad is pissing himself laughing at how silly he looks, comparing himself to the great Sir Stanley Matthews amongst others, making me laugh a lot already. When he finally came out of the cubicle he looked so utterly ridiculous that I literally fell down laughing. The strength went from my knees and I slumped in the corner.
But really you had to know my dad, and be there. He can be a true master of physical comedy 🙂
In the had-to-be there category, but years ago me and a couple of mates were walking back from football to pub to meet others when further along the pavement we saw a guy slip on something, do a bit of exaggerated flailing about then recover his balance before continuing. None of us said anything but must have been thinking the same thing as, when we passed the slip site we all looked down to see what it was, and saw a banana skin on the ground.
Nobody got any sense out of us for the next two hours.
Another "had to be there" but I remember seeing a guy trying to get into his van after coming out of the chippy. It was a wet day and he slipped on the step, then just sort of laid there for ages hugging the front seat, like he was trying to figure out why his chips had just disappeared from his hands and how he'd slipped in the first place. He was there for a good minute contemplating, all with his hairy builders arse crack hanging out 😆
Could be the time me and some mates got some burgers and went to sit down on a bench in a crowded street. One of my mates had dropped a sachet of mayonnaise in the street and before he had a chance to retrieve it a passer by accidently trod on it and the whole contents was squirted long distance straight into my eye. I was wetting myself laughing with mayo in my eye for ages.
Or it could be the time my mate 'big Kev' put his shoulder to a sticky door only to leave both door and frame in splinters on the floor.
we're on a beach as kids, my brother is about 8, I'm 10. It's a sloping sandy beach ideal for a running jump into an inflatable dingy. Ed's holding the dingy as Dad, who was quite a big fella, comes thundering down the beach and with a tremendous leap launches himself into the air aiming to land in the boat and impress us and Mum; except Ed swings the boat away from the now airborne Dad at the last moment. No-one, least of all Dad saw that coming......
Not funny (to Me) but a party trick non the less... an old mate of mine used to put a condom up his nose and pull it out of his mouth!!
Sat in the Merrion center in Leeds once when I saw an old man walk right into the window of Morrisons supermarket at full walking speed.
He really whacked his face on the glass to and it shocked him quite a bit. A shop assistant had to assist him.
As I was a young student, it was the funniest thing I'd ever seen and it stays with me to this day.
scruzer - once saw a lad do that in rock city, nottingham. I swear it came out partially inflated as well
I once slipped on some spilt shampoo (I hope) on the floor in boots (nottm again). I was walking quite fast and I launched straight into the shelving, tins & bottles flying all over the place. Made a right mess and scattered little old ladies like startled deer.
how I'd have laughed ... if I could weight-bear on my ****in ankle 👿
(none of my mates on hand to enjoy the scen either)
A big, strong (straight i might add) man bitch slap another man as hard as he possibly could right across the face.
I'm laughing even typing it.
I was at a mates wedding & one of his mates from the RAF was a black lad who was commandeered to show us all a bit of proper break dancing. He got changed into some white trousers, black jumper & a white polo necked shirt under that. Another mate of ours called Dom got hold of some white paper overalls & a spray mask & when the music started he was 'copying' the black lad. Black lad was awesome & Dom was so 'unawesome' it was unbelievable. I think everyone's jaws were aching after that.
A 'had to be there' moment though.
When we were in our mid teens a few mates and I brought some fireworks and went up to the school sports field. We tried horizontal launches and narrowly missed one my mates DT50, which was quite funny. We then went on launching horizontally against a brick wall. Firework was lit and off it went. It riocheted(sp?) off the wall and went on a ballistic arc, toward my one of the lads. He ran like the clappers and as he ran it exploded a couple of meters overhead. The 'warhead' was red starbursts and they went off with Mark running in the middle. It was the funniest thing I'd ever seen. Looking back it was the stupidest thing we'd ever done. We got away with it though and I still smile when I think about it.
Seeing my brother run and jump into a sliding glass door, he had completely forgotten it was there. He bounced a fair distance off it aswell 😆
A couple of years ago, kids playing in the back garden...and the rabbit was out as well.......So kids are going round the edge path and one of them stops and says Rabbit poo on the path!!!!!.....That`s ok i said, just go round it...... 😛
Yip...they literally ran round it in a circle with me and Mrs stoney folded giggleing 🙄
When we were about 15, an old geezer in the park took exception to us kicking a wee, floaty football around - the kind you buy on garage forecourts. There was plenty of space and the ball hadn't gone anywhere near him.
He strode over shouting and waving his arms about, picked up our ball and walked off with it. We had a spare and my mate Fred lined up the spare ball and booted it as hard as he could. The ball veered off course, bounce hard off a tree and smacked the guy hard enough that his hat and specs fell off and he dropped our ball, which we immediately reclaimed. We all fell about whilst the guy scraped around trying to find his specs!
SCOOOOO-OOOORE!!
My old housemate who came out of the bathroom with only HALF a haircut.
His clippers had stopped working halfway through cutting his hair, I cried with laughter for ages, he was so poor he could only afford half a haircut!
I, like a good mate made him drive himself to the hairdressers to get his haircut finished off.
Oh, and that fireworks tale above reminds me.... When we were a bit younger (11- 12ish?) one of our mates used to come back from summer hols in France each year with a huge sack of massive and utterly lethal French bangers.
We gleefully stuck them in the biggest piles of dogsh1t we could find before lighting them. We had a some serendipitous timing in catching passers-by - the sight of a grown up half-deaf and covered in sh1te was the funniest thing any of us had ever seen!! Damn I was a little b@stard 🙂
Seeing a mate light a fart when wearing ronhills, fire and nylon doesn't mix well, especially when it sticks to his ring. Never laughed so hard since.
definitley had to be there. 6th form trip to oban (scuba diving) few girls and a load of lads staying in dorms next to a farm. The last evening outdoors during the BBQ, we decided it would be a laugh to stick a sheep in the girls dorm aq surprise for when they go to bed. Two of the lads started creeping up crouched low down on a flock of sheep. Sheep started looking shifty as they were getting closer, then a couple of sheep started to run one of the lads head popped up - like a bloody meerkat on the plains his head just appears out of the long grass, sees the whole flock run and he chases, flock and lad dissappear over the hill. Everyone is in stitches, I'm almost falling over, few seconds tick by and the sheep appear again climbing the next hill and there he is still chasing them, cue second round of laughter.
he never did catch one 🙂