[Closed] What're the worst bike names?

Piglet

Raleigh Banana.

Tomac Eli.

Makes it sound like an Amish farm worker.

I like [i]Ragley Piglet[/i] as a name, it's kinda cheeky if you know what I mean.

I had a Maverick calle 'Grizelda' (spelt like that). Worst name ever.

I've also got a GT Peace 29er, 'smokin' since the 1970's' according to the decals... stupidly naff.. hippy bikes.

Ragley does it for me.

Bandit is a bit suspect

Kona WoohookooeyIamoverherelookatme

I am sure there was one called something like that. It must have been the one with the long top tube.

Tomac Eli.

Eli is Tomac's son.

handjob.

I really dislike all the double entendre type ones

stiffy, Prince Albert and so on, childish

Eli is Tomac's son.

I know.
Still Amish 😉

bloody misogynistic if you ask me TJ!

Don't some people ride round on a stifee?

Orange Five.

http://covebike.com/bikes

I really hate the Crosstrax bikes Halfords used to sell.
Mainly because we kept getting phone calls from people wanting to sue us for the shonky bikes.
I ended up writing letters to people explaining the bikes are not fit for purpose and that they should ask for their money back and get compensation. which annoyed the Halfords solicitors. lol

childish names are great, weird names are great... what isnt great is when the bike is named to suggest is awesome... carrera 'fury' for example.

5

stumphumper

Do the people who come up with these names ride bikes ?

At least with Orange is mostly numbers - not too offensive.

Angus Wells - Member
Raleigh Banana.

It's proper title was Raleigh 'TEAM' Banana and I loved mine like you love a puppy or a sibling.
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Anything by Rose bikes...who comes up with those names?!?
TJ - the manufacturers with those double entendre model names probably wouldn't see the likes of you as their demographic.

Penny Farthing.

Pure marketing hype, they cost four pounds eight shillings and sixpence.

turn it around what would you call your own range of bikes;

Cyclo-cross
XC hardtail
All mountain full suss
Enduro Full-sus
Road bike
single speed hardtail

we had a few bikes we had made named after Indian Sundries;
The Pakora, Samosa and the Bhaji

Kona AbraCadabra

Cotic bfe

eyerideit

I had one too.

[b]Cyclo-cross[/b] Rapier
[b]XC hardtail[/b] ?katana
[b]All mountain full suss[/b] Scimitar
[b]Enduro Full-sus[/b] Claymore
[b]Road bike[/b] Épée
[b]single speed hardtail[/b] Sabre (single edge, geddit?)

Ibis Tranny. It makes it impossible to talk about riding one, swinging a leg over one and any number of derivatives there of.

5

Numbers as names are boring but functional, at least if they descibe a feature of the geometry etc.

Cyclo-cross Rapier
XC hardtail ?katana
All mountain full suss Scimitar
Enduro Full-sus Claymore
Road bike Épée
single speed hardtail Sabre

Nice theme. I like it 🙂

It's gotta be Pronghorn! 😆

Don't Kona make a bike called 'Shonky' ?? (just sounds crap/poorly made before you've even started eh?).

Enduro Full-sus Claymore

I like the fact that 'claymore' is a type of mine as well 🙂

I like those names, can I use them?

Angus Wells - Member
eyerideit

I had one too.

There should be a special Banana shake for former owners.

Sancho - be my guest. But if you have any XL demo 29er frames lying around, I know a good home for them 😉

Kona Sex One and Sex Two

'parently for Full Suspension Experience.....

Pronghorn, that's soooo funny, the bent top tube too, makes me think of missing the target during frantic coitus.

Inbred. 456 is far better a name and the Inbred character graphics really...how you say? Gop? I like On-One, shame about some of the visual art.

Da Bomb makes me cringe, it doesn't work in English. As do the Viper frame range names.

yeah I'm not too keen on the dready styling of the on one inbred charcater either, just smacks a bit shitty 90's eclipse jackets.

The entire Cove range if you're older than 13.

Raleigh Ascender was a favourite of ours. No, it doesn't go [i]down[/i]hills, heaven forbid.

I agree with TJ 😯

mmmmmmbop

That Ragles Greenone what has the Ragles saddle, frontstick etc..

Bandit 😕

Apollo Letdown.

Universal Cycles "No Worries", ironically with a sticker on the top tube advertising the fact the bike came with "Blowout Technology".

Both genuine, sadly...

GB

Most of the Ragley range are rather bizarrely named, but I'd still consider buying one. As for Cotic, there should surely be a better name than "Rocket" for a 150mm travel frame?

Some seriously uncool names abound though, what with Cove's naming convention and anything branded "Superstar" with those logos can only belong on Cheryl Cole's bike.

I do think that naming a range of bikes after meteorological phenomenon a la British military aviation might be a nice convention for a British brand.

[edit] Didn't Apollo once do a bike called the "Creed"?

Pronghorn

The on one inbred is a funny peculiar one - in the circles MrsTJ especially moves in its a bit hard to explain what her bike is called

me and my mate have been playing this game for years its hilarious best bikes to look for are cheap ones that chavs ride round on my personal faves are (streetfox salon) and (apollo creed)

The whole Cove range is excruciatingly named, would tape one up before riding it. Cotic BFe is an affront to the periodic table.

Personally cannot stand the word chumba. No good reason, just find the sound of it very off-putting.

Most of the sword names are reliant car names, not sure where the reliant Robin and kitten fitted into the format

I thought of different hammer ball pein , lump, mallet , ropousse and for the kids bike toffee

I did name a bike after the robot dog on wallace and grommet it even went into production

The on one inbred is a funny peculiar one - in the circles MrsTJ especially moves in its a bit hard to explain what her bike is called

Lucky she's not got a Pompino as well then.

Where would a Genesis Day One figure in this thread? Personally I think it's great name for a bike.

Agree with TJ.

However, the winner for what is far and away the worst bike model name remains the [url= http://www.ktm-bikes.at/mountain/lady/hardtail-alu/Baggysue.php ]KTM Baggy Sue.[/url] Yes, really.

Andy

I rather like the cove bike names it shows a sense of fun and not taking yourself too seriously, but then I have a sense of humour unlike TJ et al who are the most dour soul less MOFO's on planet earth. 🙄

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Saw a workers bike at a Taiwanese Factory called "Mad Bird"

I laughed.

i ride a pronghorn AKA p*rnhorn, king prawn etc etc

but then i dont let a silly name put me off a bike if i like it.

GT Avalanche, why name a bike after something that falls down a mountain, out of control, killing people

Vinnyeh, 'Grizelda' now resides with another Maverick called 'Parsley'. Both are very happy and much loved! 😉

Tazzy - I don't mind amusing names - I don't like the s**** behind your hand childishness of some

cotic soda for example I like

To avoid any of this nonsense, I named my own:

[url= http://farm6.staticflickr.com/5116/5892055346_ae413ac518_b.jp g" target="_blank">http://farm6.staticflickr.com/5116/5892055346_ae413ac518_b.jp g"/> [/img][/url]
[url= http://www.flickr.com/photos/53860438@N06/5892055346/ ]IMAG0010[/url] by [url= http://www.flickr.com/people/53860438@N06/ ]Northwindlowlander[/url], on Flickr

Yellow and steel, therefore, an Iron Chicken. Obvious innit. I was going with Chromagnon and feeling very smug about having such an obvious thought 🙄

On-one Inbred - sounds like they're from Burnley

i'm from blackburn. I dislike anything from burnley!

Chumba (though I fancy an HX1)
Cove <insert smut here> (though I've always wanted a Stiffee FR)
Pronghorn 🙄
Proflex
Anything with numbers EX9, 5, G2, P7, X1
Inbred

Nice little GT Avalanche copy here. Found in Hong Kong.

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Cove naming is brilliant if you have any sense of fun and can make a mundane thing like 'I'm going out for a ride on my Stiffee' very funny indeed. The same thing with the Ibis Tranny, great! Where's your sense of fun gone?!

Where's your sense of fun gone?!

Cove Hummer - ummmm... 😮
Cove Sanchez - eeeww! 😡

Actually I am a bit grumpy ATM. Sorry.

Eric

Cinelli Bootleg Hoy Hoy Rats

Apollo Outrage. How can such a small kids bike weigh so much? It must be made of solid steel rods.

Anything by Ragley.

All of them just sound a little too [i]'if you were in our gang you'd understand'...[/i]

For years i didnt get the Orange Ms Isle, felt a bit dumb when the penny dropped and resented it ever since. I also saw an Apollo "America" yesterday proudly displaying that it was "handbuilt in England" with a Union Jack beside the statement. 🙄

Raleigh Tomahawk. Crashed mine aged ten and it lived upto its name when a seat bolt took a huge slice into my calf. Road bike is called cyrene and calls me to the garage.

And I agree with TJ. Won't be buying anything from that ilk.

Kinesis KM220L

And I agree with TJ. Won't be buying anything from that ilk.

got to love the Victorian sensibilities brigade 😀