Udder Cream

We had a bucket of it in the changing rooms at my rugby club. Used it for eyebrows and ears in the forwards... I seem to recall upending it on someone's head once.

Worked well for that. Never needed chamois cream though.

Swapped from MucOff chamois cream to Udder Cream to try something different. Will be going back to MucOff. Udder Cream just feels thin and watery in comparison, doesn't seem to last anywhere near as long (I've done a 24 hr non-stop ride with one initial application of MucOff and was fine) a couple of hours is about as good as it gets with the other stuff and more of a personal thing but MucOff still smells nice after a day of riding.

Thanks. Muc off it is then

Assos minty arse lard

First time ever, I've rubbed my cheek raw after 6 hours on the bike yesterday - unbelievably uncomfortable.

Great timing for this thread as I was about to post a question on chamois cream, but looks like it is answered here.

I'm assuming I apply it to the chamois and rub a good layer on it so there is less friction.

You can apply direct to chamois, or direct to undercarriage/crack, your call. If applying to undercarriage you mustn't double dip in the tub to avoid cross contamination. Personally I apply a good two fingertips to chamois front and back, and then wipe any slight excess between ballsack and thighs.

Muc-off here too

I found the udder stuff a bit thin to, used to like Assos but several years back they changed the formula and I had a reaction to it (in an area you really don't want a skin reaction...), never touching that stuff again as a result. Currently using Muc-off stuff and it seems good.

If using Mucoff chamois cream, store it well away from their foaming degreaser to avoid early morning mishaps

I'm assuming I apply it to the chamois and rub a good layer on it so there is less friction.

It never occurred to me to rub it on my chamois, but a tub lasts ages if you apply directly to skin with two fingers - as above.

I use it on my undercarriage and knees (to prevent pad chafe) every ride and must get about a year out of a tub. So I don't feel motivated to swap to a farming product to save a few quid.

Bum Butter user here.

 Personally I apply a good two fingertips to chamois front and back, and then wipe any slight excess between ballsack and thighs.

I find this works best for ~4 hours / 60 miles. But I'm nor sure if applying it to the shorts actually lasts longer on really long rides at the expense of not having that floating on air feeling for the first few miles. Bum butter has clove oil which is slightly aneastatizing and anti-septic, I've done 280km in a day using it, when I already had an infected sore 🤮(the result of a new saddle with 'grippy' print on it. Who decided that increasing friction on a saddle was a good idea, seriously?

Applying directly to the skin does mean you can target the bits you know rub.

And take a mini-tub for mid-ride top-ups.  A bit like chain waxing, the problem isn't the initial 90%, it's that last 10%. A quick dab to top it up after ~6 hours makes a massive difference.

Slipstream for me. If it is good enough for Katie Kookaburra to have round her parts it is good enough for me! No nasties in it either