[Closed] New baby and riding - how did you do it?!

I think you will have to redefine 'normal' from now on as your old life has now gone. As far as riding is concerned early mornings and late evenings are your new time for riding. Congratulations on becoming a father BTW, brilliant isn't it?

Duct tape and Calpol.

Mrs solarider and I promised each other that we would find time for us as a couple, and for our individual interests

kind of this ^^^....
I ride MTB on a Tuesday eve..out at 1930, back at 2300...up with baby at 2340, the every few hours....it's now 0530 and my day starts here....
Wife does similar on other days..

Get used to being tired!

DrP

Did it just get put on the back burner for a few weeks until things settled down

Oh, you poor fool. After about 6 months I managed to be getting in 1 quick ride a week. Commuting was where most of it happened. Properly started getting better round abouy when the little one turned 2.

commute by bike more and drag it out a bit if necessary to get the hours in

and night riding

I got back into riding when Jnr was born. One hour on a Wednesday night, two on a Sunday morning. MrsMC had Tuesday night and any other time for her interests.

Started commuting by bike when it reached the point I was so tired I couldn't remember driving to work.

It is a whole new normal, it will involve compromises. Don't be tempted to argue about riding as exhaustion tends to make the the smallest things explosive.

The sleep exhaustion gets better. Till you have a second one. And you won't have time to ride till they have left home. Currently juggling both of us working with school, Scouts, Brownies, Guides, two band practice's, gymnastics and swimming training.

The early baby months are a doddle, actually!

A - congratulations on the little one and the move back to the uk

B - get used to commuting by bike to make up the hours the night is now your friend itl be a case of spare hour hear and there a few times a week for the first year or so they get to about 2-3 and time frees up a little (this will be easier if your o\h is independent eg driving) as mine dousent so is a little harder as she's almost always home

C -your bike will always be there you have allot going on with baby and move and I assume job just chill and let it flow I'd right off the next couple of months to get settled in and done with priority's (your an adult now lol) stick with the fourums to keep your passion for the bike

Congratulations..
It doesn't need both of you to look after the baby at the same time...so once you get more settled into baby life it will get easier.
Riding from home helps. Be organised with all your kit and have everything ready to go at the drop of a hat.
Commuting by bike is where much of my riding happens and I have 3 little girls.
You'll wonder what you used to do with all that free time.....

My son is now 19 months. My riding went from 3 or 4 days a week to one and has remained at that. For most of the time I was going early Sunday mornings, up at 5 back by 10. Things are getting a bit easier now and I've recently snuck in a couple of all day Peaks visits. I just take junior away from his mum for a day to give her a rest and make up for it.

The older they get and the more you can do with them the easier it gets. But everything cycling will take a back seat for years to come 🙂

Get junior a decent balance bike around a year and a half, my plan is to get him on a bike and out for rides with me ASAP, that'll increase saddle time 🙂

Running is much more time efficient in every way.

Don't forget all the time you won't be able to exercise at all because the little one will will have passed on the nastiest colds/virus's known to man 😆

Congratulations.

8 weeks is still kind of early, once a routine establishes and the Mrs is sorted, it's then easier to 'book' time in advance.

Not really a tip, more from experience - but get used to riding at unsocial hours and in shitty weather for the time being (at least you have the seasons on your side, mine were both winter babies!). I'd grab an hour or two at 6am or 9pm after duties were done and dusted. And if i 'booked' time to go riding, i went. No - "Ah, looks crap outside, I'll go this afternoon instead" - just pull the gear on and go because it's the only slot you've got that weekend.

On the plus side - got to love my SS as a result (get a decent workout in 60-90 mins, and no faffing about with maintenance afterwards) and justified buying some decent lights and riding clobber too. And you find out who your mates are.

On the minus side - sometimes (but not often, because my wife's a belter) you'd get 20 mins out of the door, about to hit the good trails and get the call "Junior's been sick everywhere, come home and help clear up!" Sometimes discretion and valour....... Had a mate whose wife was awful for this, and i suspected she'd do it just to piss him off!

You don't want to hear this but when they are really young it's a lot easier than when they get older, like 2-6yrs.

As above really. Early mornings or commute. I also bought a road bike which is a much more efficient use of time as it needs less cleaning time if weather is bad.

My daughter is six and spent over an hour last night awake as she woke up at 1am!

Congratulations!

As far as riding is concerned early mornings and late evenings are your new time for riding.

This.

I found myself going out after the 4am feed which gave me a decentish ride before a shower, change & off to work.

Probably echoing the above but...
1) Get used to riding at odd times. I ride 3 times a week twice midweek after kids bedtime and once in the early morning on the weekend.
2) Get used to riding with the snots.
3) Get used to riding in any weather.
4) Low maintenance bikes are the best, fettling time will be limited too.

You'll sort something out and get into a routine soon. It doesn't get any easier necessarily when they get older. Our son is into diving, he has training 3 evenings a week and two more sessions at the weekend. I try and get out when they are at parties etc.

I made an arrangement with my wife: I'd get up early on Saturdays to take care of the kid (and she gets a lie-in), and vice versa on Sundays. Except on Sundays I'd sacrifice my time in bed to go out on the bike.

But as mentioned, running is a much more time-efficient way of doing some exercise - in 30-40min you can do a decent run, on a bike you're just getting warmed up. The hated turbo is another option: an hour of Sufferfest (or whatever) twice a week + a longer ride on Sunday will keep your fitness at acceptable levels.

But at the end of the day you just have to accept you're time limited, at least for the next couple of years.

One other point you touched on: "Mrs solarider and I promised each other that we would find time for us as a couple". This is critical. The baby is not the only thing in your life, you need to find some space as a couple. Try and make a point of getting out together without the kid at least once a month, and ideally fit in a dirty weekend at least once a year. This is what grandparents are really for 🙂

Time to do couple things LMAO unless you palm the children off onto grandparents a lot.

Time to do individual things shouldn't be a massive issue if you can communicate. Until you have 2...

3 years of halving my riding time then embracing the commute and being fitter than before. Found out I do actually have the ability to be disciplined about stuff.

The sooner you embrace doing things differently the better.

Trailer/commuting/running/tagalong/early starts/late rides/solo rides.

We are both finding it easier to ride/exercise/other more now they are 4 and 5.

Rides together on our own can probably still be counted on the fingers of 2 hands in that time though.

Dirty weekend? What do you do if she doesn't like mountain biking? 😀

When do you ride?

One of mine was born 22nd August at about 3am, I was out riding lunchtime on the 24th

Communication is the key, like with everything else in the relationship.

Last 4 weeks I've done, 12 hours/12 hours/family holiday/17 hours and I've got 3 kids that reside with me 4,3 and 9 months,

With 1 kid there's a lot of down time, they sleep shit and eat and not much else,

What worked for me was focus, preparation and compromise (plus lights and a good jacket!)

Mrs understood that I'd be grumpier than the baby if I didn't get to ride.
Kit was ready and prepared, bike sorted and bag on a peg ready to go at a moments notice. Road riding helped and I really got into it.
Was prepared to change plans last minute, so often rode solo since I was too unreliable to call on mates.
I also got rid of all other distractions in my life - cancelled TV (time to sit down is time to sleep!), stopped other hobbies, sold toys/gadgets, so any free time was just for riding.

With this sorted, I rode quite a bit in the first year, more in the 2nd and more then ever this year (2 1/2). First 'proper' ride was at 3 weeks for me, but it was a short one - Mam Tor, solo in the pissing sideways rain, on my birthday. Met the family in Hope for tea and cake afterwards. I'll remember it clearly for ever!

Hardest bit is we have no local family support and friends mostly in the same boat with young kids, so going out together wasn't possible, which was a struggle, so we took turns as we both needed the break and space. A drive was good for the little man to sleep so I shuttled my Mrs out, dropped her in the Peak and drove back while she rode home. Later on, the trailer is priceless as we can have days on the bike as a family.

Congratulations 🙂

With 1 kid there's a lot of down time, they sleep shit and eat and not much else,

Doesn't seem like it at the time, but in hindsight and now with two kids this is very true! Though first kid, and especially the first few weeks, is always a massive shock to the system. At least with the second you sort of know what to expect and it's just more of the same relentless routine (though anyone that says two kids isn't much more work than one is a bloody liar!)

Communication and compromise is tops. Does mrs solarider have stuff she wants to get out and do?

My kids are now 3 and 1 and I usually manage 10 hours on the bike a week. A lot of that can be late night turbo whilst watching the baby monitors (with the bonus that mrs blobby can get out and do stuff). I try and get out when I can, and it helps that I work from home so lunchtime rides is an option. But it does tend to be an hour or two at a time, gone are the days of spending all day out on the bike. Social side of riding has taken the biggest hit and is currently non existent.

Can be tough trying to fit it all in though, especially if you are seriously sleep deprived (I've never known such chronic levels of tiredness) and subjected to a battery of nursery bugs and colds.

Mrs understood that I'd be grumpier than the baby if I didn't get to ride.

Quite a lot of ^^^ that here too 😳

Hardest bit is we have no local family support

This is tough too. My brother and sister both have both sets of parents within a few miles and are regularly dropping their kids off for afternoons/evenings/days off. That would make such a massive difference to us but unfortunately not something we have.

just get put on the back burner for [s]a few weeks[/s] 18 years or more until things settled down

congratulations & good luck 🙂

Congratulations! I've been there 3 times now here's my pence worth:
1- take it when you can get it, on mothers terms only. Don't rely on planning too much.
2- I will look after your bikes during this dry spell, FOC.

I've got a 3 week old now. My mountain bike hasn't been touched since. I've still been commuting and running more so pretty sure fitness is OK.

My wife if nagging me to go out on the mountain bike, but I just can't be bothered. Life is a lot busier now and by the time I work, do stuff round the house and help with the baby I don't have much driver left for getting out. Strange thing is I'm not missing it, the baby is quite engrossing.

depends on you and your wife. tuesday night rides were pretty much sacrosanct, mrs was ok with that, think I missed the following tues after each child was born, then I was back out. Weekend riding and pretty much the rest of life is completely different, big changes there*. If riding is very important to you then going cold turkey is not going to help you support your mrs and look after your child. Needs some compromise, just make sure you "earn brownie points" when you're home and negotiate for occasional time away.

*Not that I'm trying to worry you. Fortunately I've got a decent commute so I still got/get plenty of miles in, just not that spectacular quality. Still wish I could fit in more weekend riding in the summer tho.

<edit> just checked my ride diary (sad I know) I was out 4 days after the appearance of our first born, little one had to go back in hospital, I was in a pretty emotional state so when I was sent home I went out for a very late night road spin, quite cathartic.

Also, embrace the turbo.

You ride at night.

plus one to this. Kids are older and sleeping well now, my mrs is normally asleep when I get back from tues night ride anyhow so if the weather is nice I occasionally just keep riding til I'm knackered. Leave at 6pm and you can get a good 6hours in easy.

That's ok until your kids then have a bad night and/or wake at the crack of dawn 🙁

Congratulations!

My kids are 3.5 and 2.5, they're 13 months apart, so we had little time with just 1 kid

With 1 kid, whilst LOADS changes, as a dad you're also fairly useless. You can help with general emotional, moral and household help, but when it comes to feeding times (unless you're bottle feeding) you're basically useless, and they can take ages! So while you don't want to show you're living your life and she isn't, you have a lot of time to yourself.

It doesn't take 2 adults to look after the baby, and you looking after him/her while your wife takes a break is fairly important too

When we have just 1 kid (i.e. 1 adult goes out with 1 kid) life feels like a complete piece of cake, irrespective of their age.

Having 2 gives you perspective on how easy it is with 1. Obviously 0 to 1 feels like a big change though

At that age they cry/sleep/lie quietly looking around/need changing/drink milk/cry. 2 adults working as tag team work better than 1 adult, but it's doesn't need 2 adults 24/7 (i.e. when you go to work)

Also, other options as follows:
Commute to work
Put car seat in a trailer and take junior out (slowly)
When baby is older go cycling with a Baby Bjorn or similar (slowly)

Last two are good, you'll be giving your wife a break. Won't be much gnarr but it's just as awesome in a completely different way

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There's time, but it requires compromise.

1) Commute by bike, even if this means working from home and doing a cheeky loop at lunchtime

2) Make time for your partners interests, try and get the bike involved in this. My fiance rides horses so I ride the 15 miles form work to the yard then look after the kids there while she goes out for a hack. For extra brownie points I get there early and do the mucking out for her (I then get to ride home, through the lanes)

3) Night rides are amazing, especially at this time of year, you get to go to the pub after too 😀

4) Weekends are for racing, don't waste a weekend pass out on a frivolous ride with the lads and book things in on the calendar months and months in advance.

I consider myself extremely lucky though, if she gets a new horse and starts competing on that then we might be more time pressed 😀

dump the mountain bike and embrace the road. In the first 5 years I can count the number of time I got out on my stumpy on one hand.
its much easier to get out for a quick 90min spin late evening.

My son is now 7 months, dont worry things will get better once you get established and set the routines.

I am still riding, just no where near as much.

I adopted the attitude that the bike will always be there, missing the changes of my son growing will not and they do change fast at this age.

Enjoy your time as you see him develop, bikes and trails are not going anywhere.

Scaled, I presume the other dip in your strava in aug was "making baby" 😆

haha, the dips are all holidays* or injuries!

*shit, you might be right

Mine is 5 months old

Ride to work if you can, it the most time efficient way to get some miles in. On nice days take the long way home if you can.

I still normally get one mountain bike ride in a week but it tends to be local blasts rather than all day epics

Learn to cope with not that much sleep

Enjoy being a Dad!

Congratulations 🙂

Short answer is that it really depends on you, your wife and your child.

As you'll see above, some will be out riding at least as much as they were before kids - this usually either works with an other half that's happy to be home with the kid(s) a lot, if you have family nearby or if the kid is very easy to look after (eg sleeps early, etc). It can also happen when the bloke won't compromise on his riding time despite the woman wanting support and time with him and can lead to problems (at least based on several people I know)...

Others, are too knackered, grumpy, disinterested, whatever to consider riding much and so don't.

Others again want to ride as much as they did before but realise that they'll pay for it with grumpiness, etc from their partner and work out ways to balance things and fit around everything else - IME that describes most blokes

Basically it all depends. And like most things to do with kids, ignore anyone stupid enough to think that their experience is a blueprint for everyone else.

For me, it's early morning rides during the week (up at 5am like this morning, back just before 7 for the morning routine) and maybe one ride at the weekend. The thing I find is that if as we both work then the weekend isn't long enough to consistently get rides in and actually get to spend time together and do the things we need to do - eg clean the house, etc - so riding is secondary. Again, that's my experience, yours may well differ.

If you have a ride planned but have a pants sleep the night before and get up feeling like a zombie - force yourself out on the bike. You will feel much better and will enjoy it. Sometimes both Mum and Baby are miserable for one reason or other, it makes a big difference having a happy face in the house, even if you do feel a bit guilty for leaving them to it while you enjoy the great outdoors.

As others have said, work with your partner, communicate effectively (easier said than done when both horribly sleep-deprived) You will find a compromise where you ride enough to keep you happy whilst still having time to provide enough support for her. I ride as much now as I did before both of our kids came along, they're now 18 months and 4 years old.

One other compromise to make was on the n+1 theory. I now have a full suss, an xc hardtail and a BMX. I can't afford any more bikes, nor do I have the time to build any more, or the space to keep them!

All good suggestions above,and a lot of them worked for us.
My OH is a runner and fairly soon after our first was born she got back out on the roads,it was an important part of the day where she could have her 'me time' and always felt better for it.I have been lucky enough to always have had a good commuting distance to the places I worked,that is a definite win. The other thing to try and do is always have a bike (and gear)ready to go at short notice.As some have said ,all a lot easier on a road bike .
You can also work it in at the weekends by riding out for a nice lunch ,they follow later in the car. Bike in the car for heading home and everyone has had a day out.

Wow, thanks all!

Knew I could rely on the STW regulars for some sound advice.

It is the most amazing thing we have ever done together, and it is good to know that the sleep deprivation gets better.

I am now a fully paid up member of Parents' Club. The first rule of Parents' Club seems to be don't talk about Parents' Club. The second rule of ...(of f£@k it, I am too tired to write the whole thing - you know what I mean). Seriously, if anybody could accurately put in words how bad the lack of sleep is, the human race would die due to lack of procreation! As a singleton I watched my sister go through it all and didn't really appreciate it, but it is the most rewarding, all encompassing but tiring thing I have ever done (and I once serviced a Lefty fork all on my own!)

But communication, stolen moments on the bike and teamwork seem to sum it all up. Looks like it is time to dust down the turbo trainer that I always promised myself I would use but never actually did!

Ours is past 3 months and I'm still getting out, although it tends to be road as that's better for the 60-90 minute windows I usually have available. Trying to get more long rides in as I'm doing Ride 100 in August.

Very mother/baby dependent, although I think some fathers make things worse. If breastfed, there's really very little you can do to help with feeds so if you're working it makes more sense to get the sleep at night and help out as much as you can in early mornings before work and once you're back and do things like sort out dinner. I've known people take the "support your wife as much as possible" to heart and be up a couple of times every night with her which is the road to madness. Maternity leave gives opportunities to nap during the day, work doesn't.

Wife is quite social so will be out one or two evenings a week, I'll feed our daughter some expressed milk and get her in the cot then deal with whatever comes up. Wife wouldn't dream of calling me back from a ride just because of some puke, but then I wouldn't call her back in the same position either.

As said, "events" (even if just Evans/Trailbreak things) can be handy to have something solid booked in the calendar. We have a shared google calendar to sort all this out so no forgetting or silently changing plans. Even if we're just going to visit grandparents or a friend's BBQ it goes on there. Makes it much easier to work rides around - eg. I know if I'm up and out by 7am I have 3 hours clear before we need to be out again, so I can get a good 2ish hours in, then get cleaned up and ready to go.

You don't want to hear this but when they are really young it's a lot easier than when they get older, like 2-6yrs.

+1

Sorry. It gets worse before it gets better.

😉

We had an agreement much like yours, and we stuck to it as best we could.
I got 1/2 day per weekend to get away and so does she. She was very grateful of the rest to do what she wanted to do, and she understands that I need some time too. I also enjoy my time with jnr without mummy around, allows us to do some bonding and for me to actually do the parenting without supervision.
It's only a quick spin around a trail centre or BPW but it's a LOT better than nothing.
I've never really understood how people can/can expect to get out roaming the hills for an entire day every weekend when they have kids though.

Seriously, if anybody could accurately put in words how bad the lack of sleep is, the human race would die due to lack of procreation!

What? You're only 8 weeks in! It gets a hell of a lot worse before it starts to get better. Found with our two that about 9 to 12 months in was the lowest point (we described it as feeling like being "in a bubble", you'll probably know it when you get there!)