Aaaaargh
I was out on the bike earlier on the other side of town and went to make a right turn into a side road
It was a textbook manoeuvre, and no mistake 🙂
Look backwards, no cars near me, pull out to centre of road, signal and just as Im about to turn do a quick 'lifesaver' over my shoulder to see an aggressive **** pull an overtaking move which would have completely ****ted me if Id gone to turn
Now ordinarily this is part and parcel of cycling and Id shrug my shoulders and congratulate myself in being a safe rider and avoiding my yearly brush with death
However the ****er in question was my next door but one neighbour, my GF is pals with his wife, the kids are mates with ours and all in all its happy families
Ive thought about having a quiet word but just dont see that it would end there
Hes obviously an aggressive tosspot behind the wheel, there is no way he couldnt have seen what I was doing
Basically Ive been stewing over this and really wished I hadnt known it was him
Ive decided the easiest thing is to wee in his shoes the next time we're round at their place as raising it will just breed resentment on both sides with our families falling out instead of just me hating him - a lot
Ooooo that's a toughie. I'd bring it up in a jokey way at first and test his reaction.
*awaits trolling comments about it being your fault*
Are you in a terrace?
next time you're around his, wipe your knob on his tooth brush when you use the bathroom.
Next time you're all together, relate the story to him of how you were nearly taken out by some twonk in a car, etc., etc.. No need to mention that you know that it was him. Watch how he reacts 😯
Jizz on his car then set it on fire.
If there is genuinely no way he could have not known what you were doing presumably he was intent on driving into you, in his car...
Not sure I could let that go, if I really thought he was trying to kill me. If maybe he wasn't a "blimey, we got a bit close the other day didn't we" approach might let you bring it up without accusing him of being a total tosspot straight away.
My jizz isn't flammable.
jokey mention - maybe drop some specsavers leaflets round
wait a year or so,then key/torch/pour brake fluid on his car.for now you can remove the valve cores,every week.
they sell the tool,but it's pretty easy to make your own.
My jizz isn't flammable.
Have you tried?
I'd drop it into conversation in the 'got a bit close to me the other day'. See what happens.
I'd have gone straight round and had a dust up, i wish i could say i wouldn't, but sadly it's my nature. I'm 64kg of wirey pent up fury. I'm not one for stewing on stuff, if i hadn't kicked off immediately, i'd just forget about it. I also wish my jazz was flammable.
People feel detached from the reality of what they're doing in the car. He may not realise the consequences of his actions. Try having a word and explaining what would have happened had you turned. Failing that, just report him in confidence. Driving behavior like that needs changing one way or another.
Report it to the police (ideally within 24 hours), depending on their attitude they'll either send him a stern letter, leave it on file so that it shows up if he gets reported by someone else, or maybe do nothing at all.
You need to sleep with his Wife.
This is the only way forward.
bruneep - MemberMy jizz isn't flammable.
And you know this because...
He recognised you,and was trying to kill you.!
It is possible that he wouldn't remember the incident even if you bring it up with him. You were just another irritating cyclist slowing his progress. I'd mention it to him. If you don't particularly like the guy, inform the police.
As above, remove all his tyre valve cores.
Definitely have a firm word with him. If he can put a face to the anonymous cyclists he clearly has no regard for on the road, he might modify his behaviour. One reason drivers endanger cyclists is because, done up in our helmets, shades and funny outfits, we're not seen as human beings but 'cyclists', another species. A 'you know that cyclist you almost killed, that was me' might change his attitude.
Next time you see him. "hey did you hear about that hit and run the other day...." elaborate, wind-up as you see fit.
If you're cruel and clever you might even get him walking into the local police station in tears and "confessing"
Ask your GF to talk to his wife about his driving and see how the wife feals about it. Is he often aggressive etc. If she is receptive ask her to talk to him. I think its serious..
Just kick his head in.... ****ing consequences don't worry about those
2nd the girlfriend talking. She can take the 'he wasn't going to mention it but it has bothered him, he was really scared for his life' line.
You need to sleep with his Wife.
This is the only way forward.
No, I've seen this plot on telly.....
He is sleeping with YOUR girl friend. You are just getting in the way of a beautiful menage a trois and he saw this as a great opportunity to take you out of the equation. I'd be packing your bags, it's not looking good for you. If not you might become the victim of a freak lawnmower accident.
Never go round his house again, ignore him completely.
When asked by him/GF why, tell them you can not be bothered by (censored) drivers.
Sorry for the delay but I can now confirm my jizz is not flammable either.
Don't ponce around, just go and have a quiet chat with him. Ask him whether he remembers nearly taking you 'out'.
And don't be aggressive.
Anonymous note on his windscreen ?
Get a big sticky label and a permanant marker. Simply write on it something like .-
" Hi , I am the cyclist you very nearly killed last night . I know where you live and if I see you driving like a **** again I will find you and I will kill you "
No need to say it was you , he cannot know for certain who he nearly hit. This way you get the message across without the need for CCTV on your car at night or any other revenge attack if it spirals into a nasty neighbour dispute .
Or smash a pair of bombers into his face?
Mrshora's mates husband cut me/dove across traffic infront of -me she recognised me and waved. Sheesh. I went from 'oi to erm/confused'.
just go round and tell him
It depends on your objectives. If you want to try to change his behaviour then you have to confront him. If you want to remain a good relationship with a neighbour (and having bad neighbours is a [b]terrible[/b] idea) then you need to tread carefully. I'd go with psling:-
Next time you're all together, relate the story to him of how you were nearly taken out by some twonk in a car, etc., etc.. No need to mention that you know that it was him. Watch how he reacts
[quote=singletrackmind said]. I know where you live and if I see you driving like a **** again I will find you and I will kill you "
I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you stop driving like a twunt now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you
FTFY 😉
My tuppence worth.
It was an isolated incident that probably shook your neighbour up as well. It will reinforce your need to be extra vigilant on the road, no one was hurt so leave it at that.
Unless you feel it was malicious; in which you aught to at least de-bone his mum!!!
[quote=pudd said]It was an isolated incident that probably shook your neighbour up as well.
How do you know this ?
Hes obviously an aggressive tosspot behind the wheel, there is no way he couldnt have seen what I was doing
Oh come on, you don't know that for sure. 🙄 He could just be dangerously incompetent.
Take him to neutral territory eg a pub and tell him this incident has been bothering you so much you could not let it slide.
The conversation then becomes about letting the incident slide rather than him trying to kill you which will be obviously easier to handle. You can then always get round to the 'are you trying to kill me' question which never comes out quite right
Alternatively, chuck a couple of kippers in his engine bay (try and wire them onto the exhaust manifold), the stink will NEVER go away and he'll NEVER be able to sell the car when the smell permeates his clothes / home / workspace.
(Completely true and a very nasty thing to do which I'd never condone)
Tortoise p*ss is a very good alternative but hard to get hold of. (The tortoise tends to fall through the gaps in the engine bay anyway)
Allthepies; I'm presuming as the OP hasn't said anything about it happening before or since. And more importantly what difference does it make?
If it happens regularly to the OP he should open his eyes or take the bus. If his neighbours a crazy driving fool he'll eventually kill someone but either way this forum has no influence over either of them.
Silly Mr pies.
[quote=pudd said]Allthepies; I'm presuming as the OP hasn't said anything about it happening before or since. And more importantly what difference does it make?
If it happens regularly to the OP he should open his eyes or take the bus. If his neighbours a crazy driving fool he'll eventually kill someone but either way this forum has no influence over either of them.
Silly Mr pies.
I was talking about the driver re: isolated incident and being shook up BTW not the OP.
+1 vote for nailing the wife, [i]entrer par la petite porte[/i] optional 😀
Is it cute? You could have gay sex with him.
I'm a great believer in pooping on the windscreen of my enemies, but if that doesn't cut it then it can only be VBRJ.
If its bothering you that much, dont be such a pussy, and go have it out with him, after all next time some one else might not be as lucky as you were, why does it matter about the families getting involved, he was the t--t, not you, idiots like him need to be told the consequences of their actions, it could of easily ended up with you living on hospital food for a while, why should cyclists always put up with these a---holes, dont even know why your even asking the question, he either says sorry or he doesnt, if not then he doesnt deserve your friendship and f--k him
Have a word I have had a few close shaves with mums/dads racing to get to school as they are late.I make a point normally with my daughter in tow so 1. I dont get shouty and 2. It could have been my child or theirs.
PS .Slash his tyres 🙂
Alternatively, chuck a couple of kippers in his engine bay (try and wire them onto the exhaust manifold), the stink will NEVER go away and he'll NEVER be able to sell the car when the smell permeates his clothes / home / workspace.
(Completely true and a very nasty thing to do which I'd never condone)
I tried this one, and the guy didn't even notice. 😯
I met his partner a little while later, and realised why. 😯
shouldn't have used a pic of WCA's ankle[u]Sorry for the delay[/u] but I can now confirm my jizz is not flammable either.
expanding foam up his tailpipe.
Well I did mean the one on his car but....
why not have word with g/f to mention it to drivers other half that way not confrontational with him. she will tell her and the message will get passed on.
I think you need to do it in person. Passing a message on when you live a few metres away is wierd. A calm discussion that his actions nearly killed you and it shook you up could only make him angry if he is a complete ****er. And if he IS a complete ****er then it doesn't matter if he doesn't like you any more!
Your conversation could actually save a life. Think about it.
Or just post him an anonymous poo with a ribbon tied round, as a gift thanking him for sparing your life the other day. This could also save a life if he relates back to the incident.
These are your two sensible options.
I know this answer probably doesn't fit in with the usual forum responses to this type of thread but I have to say if it was me I would just forget about it.
Certainly, if my neighbour took me to the pub to have a 'quiet word' about my driving I'd probably think they were borderline mental, even if I was a shit driver.
I'm not saying you're not in the right but if you bring it up I can't imagine any positive outcome whatsoever. Being as your kids get on with his etc just be content that you have a genuine reason not to confront him.
Sorry for the delay but I can now confirm my jizz is not flammable either.
#you need to drink a pint of paraffin and then try a couple of hours later !
Forget it. We all make mistakes. Life is too short to stew over something so trivial in the grand scheme of things.
Eh? Thought this was STW!
Wee in his shoes and own him with bombers?
🙂
Would he have recognised you?
If yes, he may well be expecting to hear from you, and not saying anything puts him in the alpha position in your streets' man hierarchy.
If no, you are clear for less conventional retribution.
Some great advice here, many thanks 🙂
Its a toughie and I feel a bit soiled in doing so but Im not going to confront hm about it
If I did I couldnt guarantee keeping my temper in check, he really did pull a nasty on me, and theres only one way its gonna end - with us potentially being neighbours for years and the GF/wife and kids thing I would rather not have a mahoosive fall out
On the other hand unlike most people who try and kill you on the road I actually know where this one lives and have easy access to his house, his toothbrush and lots of his other stuff so say no more.....
mwah mwah mwah mwah
Ah and his missus is a bit of a munter so no go there!
Ta
Email your neighbour this link and he'll soon understand that he needs to change his ways! 😉
Wipe your arse on his choc digestives then.
If someone nearly knocks me off my bike they will get to know about it, grow a pair and tell him what a crap driver he is, you can be nice about is and explain you were on your bike and a car nearly knocked you off and realized it was him and see how he reacts, he may be apologetic and be more considerate or take the opposing view either way you will get the measure of him and it s up to you how you take it from there.
Leave a [url= http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-19760006 ]passive-aggressive wifi message[/url]
Nail his missus. Yours will understand.
sas - Member
Leave a passive-aggressive wifi message
[i]changes network name to "your drumming puts me off my stoke"[/i]
Ask yourself how you'd feel if he takes someone else out with poor driving next week...
You could have prevented it.
Agree you don't want a conflict with a neighbour but you nearly didn't come home tonight... he needs to understand that.
It's a toughie and IME people are very defensive when their driving is concerned but there are too many cyclists dying out there because so many drivers care so little about driving round us...
And if ever there was a good advert for the 'lifesaver', this thread goes a long way towards it...
Amazing what people don't notice they're doing.
Car whooshed along pretty close to me the other day. At lights, I tapped on window and said 'just to let you know that was a bit close and scary'. Driver apologised profusely saying it was a new car and he was just getting used to it and gave me a huge amount of space when he passed after the lights... 😀
I think your reasoning is crap - you might not keep your temper in check? I think you're just bottling it. All you need to do is calmly explain what happened and that it shook you up. At the mere whiff of temper, just say you dont want to fall out but was too important to not mention. At the end of the day, there is a nutter driving around your neighbourhood and you might save a life by having a polite conversation. It could be a kid crossing the road next time....
Looks like you have decided the aggro is not worth it. Pragmatic choice.
I'd still look to seek some covert revenge. Something simple and that can be justified perhaps. Spit on his windshield everyday. If he talks to you about it then say you didn't see him.
Else, the usual 12 rounds of bare knuckled boxing, handbags at dawn etc.
two days have passed, your ire will have abated, go round and see the bloke, nice and calm, tell him how it was for you.....
Regardless of what you do say or do I couldnt be friends with somebody like that. I would probably knock on his door and explain that it was a dangerous piece of driving then leave it at that.
Interestingly I had a similar incident with my brother in-law. He passed me on a climb and squashed me between his pick-up and a stone wall over taking on a blind corner. Of course I vented my frustration as he passed not knowing who it was. Later I sent him a txt explaining the error of his driving and how embarrassing it would be for him to be attending my funeral because of his driving. His reply was rather flippant but I pursued it again I got a proper apology.
I think I'd have to say something if I was in your position.
It doesn't have to be aggressive or confrontational. I wouldn't make a special visit and knock on the door but next time I bumped in to him outside I'd just mention that it was a close one and it was lucky I'd had my wits about me.
It might make him think about his driving and perhaps even stop him actually really hurting someone or worse in the future.
Slap him with a glove and challenge him to a duel.
Next time your going out on your bike, knock on his door and simply say is it okay if I use your road? Make a bit of a joke of it but let's him know that cyclists are people he knows and he'll prob get to thinkin about the awkward situation he'd have been in if he had clipped you or even worse!
tell him to stop being an idiot and ask him how he would feel being charge with manslaughter , the sooner people realise that cyclists are their friends,family,colleagues and Neighbours the better