[Closed] My son can't ride a bike (Sad dad content)

So what if he doesn't like a bike, do more of what he does like!

How about a tandem or tagalong?

I have a 6yr old son and I'm sure it must be painful but remember he is only young so give it time. Perhaps investigate getting a one of those "strider" bikes so he can use his feet rather than pedals. That way he gets the fun and the freedom but without too much effort.

We do, DJ.

autism affects balance and coordination , if you can afford it, try him on a trike , or take out the bb and cranks on his bike to make a balance bike .

our lad has a form of brain damage that resulted in physical and learning difficulties. biking has always been a big part of family life so we were all gutted that he physically couldnt manage it and mentally probably wouldnt be able to learn. i asked the local university to see if a design student would take it on as a project but no one was interested so we scoured the market for something that would work.

in the end it was the simplest stuff that worked the best. we bought a tag-a-long type trailer bike and fitted spds to keep his feet on the pedals and adapted my own grip design.

we have just bought a tandem and using spds and the grip adaption he is able to be the stoker with surprisingly little difficulty. sometimes it just takes a while to get there.

at work we have a trike, a wheelchair bike and a two-wheeler trailer bike so there are options out there, but with a youngster on the autistic spectrum there is always going to be other issues to consider (sensory overload etc). that said, you are welcome to have our trek 'mountain train' tagalong bike which our son has outgrown. email me if you fancy giving it a try.

chin up fella,

tom

Don't worry - if he gets it in is own time, great. And when he does, no matter how many years it takes, you'll be the happiest dad in the World.

We're all different (believe me!) and we all go our own way about things. It's what makes life so brilliant.

Rachel

I've tried making a balance bike, but it was too much to cope with, too much going on at once. And tag along might work, but I'd be really scared of him letting go of the bars! Consequence to actions don't feature highly in his skill set.

He is the most wonderful child and I love him dearly, just hoping beyond hope he'll develop better motor skills.

Cant help with the autistic issue but dont push too hard. Find something he wants to do and then lead him onto the bike when you/he feel ready?

My two girls (5 and 8 ) were "gently" urged onto bikes from birth until last wkend when I bought them skateboards...Queue chaos and bikes in the shed!!

my 2 girls ride their bikes about 4 times a year and only then if their mates come along too

it's fine

(in a way I'm quite glad I don't have any boys though, as I've wondered how I'd feel if they hated the things I like. seems a bit easier with girls somehow (they're only a bit sporty and only do stuff when "made" to, despite me & the wife always having done lots and loved it))

if it's about more than just biking, ... well, I can't speak from experience of having an autistic kid (though plenty on here have). If I had to I'd say just enjoy him for what he is, rather than what he isn't

Would a like a bike help? Lets him ride but in an easier form??

Mate as a parent who kids have not got a learning disability it's really tough they are demanding little people by design!! can't imagine your position, we have friends with a little chap with Autism and I see how tough it is for them. so chill and give yourself a break, you love him and care for him and that's all he will ever need. Remember all kids develop at their own pace keep it relaxed and fun and let him discover being outside at his own rate?

Remember it's good (essential really) for you And mrs RT to get time to yourselves as a couple and as individuals. Hope this came across on the right way mate and not patronising if you were here I'd offer you a beer and arrange a spin! Take care dude.

Regarding bearing the weight, are you in touch with any local support organizations / charities? I know from second-hand personal experience how helpful they can be.

And +1 mintimperial below.

feel very much a bad parent

Put that thought right out of your head right now. You clearly care about doing the best that you can for your son, and it sounds to me like you're trying your hardest to do it too. That makes you a good parent. You can't be perfect, you can't get it right all the time, so don't beat yourself up when things don't go smoothly.

Would a like a bike help? Lets him ride but in an easier form??

Mate as a parent who kids have not got a learning disability it's really tough they are demanding little people by design!! can't imagine your position, we have friends with a little chap with Autism and I see how tough it is for them. so chill and give yourself a break, you love him and care for him and that's all he will ever need. Remember all kids develop at their own pace keep it relaxed and fun and let him discover being outside at his own rate?

Remember it's good (essential really) for you And mrs RT to get time to yourselves as a couple and as individuals. Hope this came across on the right way mate and not patronising if you were here I'd offer you a beer and arrange a spin! Take care dude.

POTD...Nice bloke, good job! 😀

Are you near London by any chance?
Bikeworks on Cambridge Heath Rd have a lot of experience in teaching kids with learning difficulties (including autism) how to ride bikes.
I believe they have some specially modded trikes that they use. Could be worth a call even if you arent nearby - mail me if you need any details for them.

I Feel your pain Andy

My youngest sufferes from a rare condition called Smith–Magenis Syndrome, which effects her in a number of ways,(not going into detail here, but google it if you want to know more) she is four going on five.

We thought she would never walk, talk, smile, etc.

So every time she does something other kids take for granted, its a big deal for us, its not easy, like everyone else we have good days and bad ones too.

Focus on what they can do & like, fill their day.

Saying that, I wish I could find a decent metal trike bike for her to ride, her inside leg is only 12 inches & she has trashed three plastic ones so far!

[url= http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5190/5683457172_0fd09772b0_m.jp g" target="_blank">http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5190/5683457172_0fd09772b0_m.jp g"/> [/img][/url]
[url= http://www.flickr.com/photos/scotiedog/5683457172/ ]DSC_2070.NEF[/url] by [url= http://www.flickr.com/people/scotiedog/ ]scotiedog[/url], on Flickr

andyRT, re the letting go thing; i bought my lad a neoprene wrist strap that then went over his fingers and around the bars. they were designed for people who cant hold effectively but sounds like they might work for your issue too. ill dig it out and find the company name for you, you can have the one we've got as its too small now anyway.

other than that, practice in a flat grassy space with another adult as a spotter (sorry, obvious suggestion)

also, not specifically bike related but try 'building bridges through snesory integration', about 15 quid off amazon and useful for understanding all sorts of ways around the barriers that autism presents.

Cheers all, some realty safe advice in there. I'll check out tricycles etc, it had somehow never crossed my mind.

On a cheery note, when asked what fish he'd seen at the aquarium (sea zoo on Anglesey, he said:

"I saw dog fish and cat fish and I want to see mouse fish"

"I saw dog fish and cat fish and I want to see mouse fish"

🙂 beautiful! Andy, good luck, no the best of luck to you all! Pashley do an excellent range of trikes for just this reason;
http://www.pashley.co.uk/lists/all.html

.

Thanks, I'll be mailing you guys soon. Some great ideas I'll investigate in the morning

[url= http://www.bilenky.com/viewpnt.html ]semi recumbent tandem?[/url]
[img] [/img]

good luck.

Don't beat yourself up AndyRT, you sound like a great dad.

...anyone else finding the room dusty or is it just me with watery eyes??

TJ that looks fantastic! The pashley Robin looks like a great option, but i can see a tandem like that in our future 😀

I wonder if you could get something like that tandem through a charity or even the nhs. I know that other people have had similar bikes from the nhs in edinburgh for other reasons.

Hey, I used to work for Autism Bedfordshire an independent charity supporting children with autism and their families. I now work for Bedford Borough Council and we have four semi-recumbent tandoms which were purchased by a prediscessor through Aiming High for Disabled Children funding. Other local authorities will have done similar. It's worth investigating on their websites or contacting the sports development teams. Let me know where abouts you live and I'll see what support is available in your area.

I love this place sometimes. 🙂

+1 for the dusty room here too.

STW is ace.

Keep at it OP.

Andy - if you're ever in the area, I seem to remember Pedalabikeaway in the Forest of Dean stock a range of tandems on hire for the less able.

Slowrider, I'll check that book out, thanks. TBH I think most of this frustration is born from the perpetual distance Autism brings. We are very lucky, in that our son is verbal and communicative but our emotional link is implied and I never doubt it, but I do feel unable to truly connect with him at a particular level where shared experiences/memories happen.

That and the ever present unknown of his future capability of independence. But then, I have friends with the same fears for their children of similar age and they're neuro typical.

Hi Andy. My son is 8 years old and autistic. My experience is very similar to yours. I thought he was never going to want to ride his bike but now it is one of his favourite things to do. Just keep offering to take him out on rides and eventually he'll jump at the chance. It may take a while but you will get there!

What about a scooter ? My lads enjoy them as much as they enjoy their bikes.

Rather dusty in SW1 right now.....

Can't help with a mouse fish, but there is a ratfish
[img] [/img]

I think the key thing is that you are encouraging him to do new things but also supporting him in things that he finds more comfortable.

My youngest is now 18 and has a paralysed (left) arm as a result of a birth injury.

Took him ages to balance properly on a bike and was 9 or 10 before he got off stabilisers.

But this year me, him and his elder brother went to the alps to follow the TDF. It bought a lump to my throat to see him tackling successfully the col de Montgenevre (1860m) and Col du Lauteret (2180 something metres) although he only managed to get two thirds of the way up the Alpe d'Huez.

Even more scary to follow him back down those same mountains as he was hitting something like 40 mph and i was on his tail screaming 'slow down' and 'braaaaaaaake' but we all made it okay.

Col de Montgenevre

[img] [/img]

Col du Lauteret

[img] [/img]

Alpe d'Huez

[img] [/img]

Palmer77, thanks I'll be in touch, and we are in Hampshire.

Slowoldgit, i bet you're faster than me, and thanks for the tip off, I'll check out FoD tandems.

Oh, and thanks for the support everyone, I am grateful, humbled and not surprised. STW IS AND ALWAYS WILL BE THE BEST FORUM.

Andy if you not bearing the weight well may i suggest you seek a little advice about your own feelings,
as until you address the real issue behind your own sadness, i believe your son will only suffer,how does your partner feel about your state of mind?

being 6 years old and autistic is very confusing for a child,and sometimes the simple things like cbeebies and TV bring a slight respite to a mind that is working overtime,it is very common for autistic children that are removed from there every day surroundings to want the safety and sanctuary of the things closest to them at home, your lucky your son can verbally tell you these are the thing he his missing, as some children just lash out in frustration because its all to confusing.

do not try to do every thing on your own it just doesn't work, you will only run yourself into the ground and be no good to man nor beast, speak to other people in a similar situation,and look for a local group that will help with trying to ease the everyday pressure, there is help out there and there is plenty of people who have been in your position, Its not easy but it can be a bit more fun.

hope you don't think im stating the obvious but having dealt with mine and my partners family member,s that suffered Asperger ADHD and dyslexia,then later on dementia, I no how difficult it can be.

MB

I'll have a word with some ex-colleagues of mine who specialised in autism and cycling; see if they have any practical advice.

I wish my dad had been as thoughtful as you seem to be when I was younger.

No worries 🙂

Some info here on the Bristol Aiming High bike project: http://www.betterbybike.info/cycling-project-helps-disabled-people-aim-high

Information on the Short Breaks duty which means local authorities have a responsibility to provide a range of short breaks for families affected by disability: http://www3.hants.gov.uk/shortbreaks

Looks like there are some all ability bikes nearby too: http://www.forestandwaterside.info/2011/06/all-ability-bikes-get-first-outing.html

And Hampshire Autism Society: http://www.has.org.uk/

Some local support groups here: http://www.has.org.uk/assets/files/Support%20Groups%203%204%2011.doc

Try to remember is that your not alone in feeling like this. There are people who can support you or just be there to listen.

Hope this helps 🙂

Ben

Cheers MB, I appreciate your advice. It's true that this stuff usually surfaces at times of stress, and it's not exactly great times right now for anyone. I have just got back to a good job after 7 horrid months of searching, so I am stressed about making it past the 4month probation in my contract. No reason to it, just never want redundancy ever again!

AndyRT,

there was a previous [url= http://www.singletrackworld.com/forum/topic/autism-anyone ]Austism thread[/url]from a few years ago.. might pick up a few pointers from that. My son Jordan is apsbergic, but was able to ride by the time he was six. Just remember kids with ASD can/ will take longer to pick up certain things.. If balance is an issue, you could try him with a scooter?

Thanks Ben.

I'll look into the bike stuff, but I will pay my way in terms of holidays, and let others that really need the support have the trips away.

We have friends and family, so I have always felt these charitable ventures should be for those that can't afford it themselves.

On that note, I can't believe they're closing so many sure start nurseries! That support network helped us so much.

Micarms, we got a scooter, and he loves it (sometimes). I went a bit mad and got one with 12" wheels, so it could cope with gravel (forest roads n stuff) but tbh it's only good for Tarmac.

I will have to bite the bullit and be more patient.

Bullheart, thank you, I look forward to hearing from you.

I'm no saint.

the CTC/ sustrans maybe able to help. they certainly run trikes/ adapated bikes from the alice holt forest. clive - used to post on here - about it, he has moved on but is still within the CTC.

Andy

You do have friends mate, give me a call if you need to talk/unload.

Thanks Tomthumb

I broke my first rule of advice in overloading with too much! If you get a chance though talk to one of the local support groups, in my experience they tend to have the best knowledge. Some places also have support groups for Dad's. Short breaks is also not always what it sounds like, it can include training, activity groups and supported access to universal services as well as traditional respite care. Most authorities will have a children with disabilities team and autism advisory teachers which may be able to offer some advice in a practical way. Tony Atwood has a book on Asperger's which you may find useful, and Olga Bogdashina has written extensively on sensory sensitivities.

I know. If you were, this'd be easier, wouldn't it?

Don't be too downhearted.
I have been involved for a few years in coaching children who are being treated by the occupational therapy department at the local hospital. These kids have all been medically referred because of co-ordination problems, and a number of them are also on the autistic spectrum. Using simple coaching techniques, we have been able to get almost every child cycling successfully.

The most important factor is your son's motivation. If he is keen to learn, you are half way there already. If he is not that fussed about the bike, I wouldn't try and push it too hard. He is still very young, and may show more interest when he is older. Some of the kids we work with are 11+ and have never learned to ride before attending the coaching courses, so be patient.

If you do want to try and teach your son, try using the standard "scooting" technique. Drop the saddle and remove the pedals to start with. You need a bike that is small enough to allow your son to comfortably get both feet flat on the ground when he is sitting on the saddle. Get him to paddle the bike around initially, and once he can move confidently, build up his speed and encourage him to start lifting his feet and gliding. Using this technique he can teach himself to balance.

If he manages to get to the stage of gliding successfully, you can re-introduce one pedal, and continue scooting, but with one foot on a pedal. Then fit the other pedal, and try getting both feet on to the pedals while gliding. Finally, get him to push down on the pedals while he is gliding and hopefully you will be away! A wee shove under the saddle can help if the child has trouble getting moving, but avoid holding the bars. Encourage him to keep looking up and ahead, rather than fixating on the front wheel (try running backwards in front of him to keep his attention).

This is obviously a compressed description, and you can introduce various other things to keep it fun and interesting. Try laying out wee tracks and slalom course with cones or bean bags or stones to develop balance and steering, or make a narrow gate with low markers to make your son lift his feet as he scoots through.

It is usually more effective to demonstrate these exercises yourself, and get the child to copy you, rather than trying to explain the techniques theoretically. You know your son best and will understand what approach is going to be most effective for him. Above all, keep it fun, and don't force it if it is not his thing.

Good luck!

P.S. if your son's bike has stabilisers - bin them immediately. Stabilisers will only slow down the process of learning to balance. Get the saddle nice and low, so his feet are on the ground, and he will be OK.

Just realised that the original poster contributed to the earlier [url= http://www.singletrackworld.com/forum/topic/autism-anyone ]Autism [/url]thread that was referenced above, where I said a lot of the same stuff, so apologies for repeating myself!

Hey Andy, remember me telling you about trucking Dan around on a recumbent tandem that I'd just serviced? Was one of these: [url= http://hasebikes.com/150-1-tandem-pino-tour.html ]Hase Pino[/url]
It had an adapter to fit an extra set of cranks as close up as needed.. A really nicely designed and made bike; and it looks like an imperial speeder!
Be sitting down when you look at the price list though..
See you riding tomorrow!

Thanks mate, the weather will be good by the time we start. Should be a tad boggy under tyre though. Now where did I put my autumn tyres....

Kcr

No worries, but bin the stabilisers? I'll try it. Your advice is brilliant, thank you. It gives me hope to hear it's possible.

I can't add too much to what has been said already - whilst my own children have had learning disabilities these are not on the same scale.

All I can say is that my 8 yr old couldn't ride a bike, despite my best efforts, until 2 months ago when she picked it up and just did it. I made sure the bike had no stabilisers and also it was too small - feet on the ground - as above.

In hindsight I may have pressured her too much in the early years which may have led to rejection. After time and her seeing my desire for bikes led her to try by herself.

I wish you all the best.

Keep at it, my son has developmental co-ordination disorder and is on the aspergers scale. He struggled to even hold a pencil at school, nightmare at swimming, due to an irrational fear of water and poor balance on a bike to an extent still on stabilisers by 6!

Roll on a couple of years, still has vision and behavioural issues. A couple of years behind in reading and schoolwork but a happier boy! Patience has meant we managed to get him to swim, snorkelled and even scuba dived to 6feet at the age of 9 in Egypt, can now mountain bike enjoying the full blue run at glentress, still cant tie his laces lol.

We still have strops with Andrew but it's how you manage them with patience and strategies appropriate to your sons condition!

Keep the chin up, was feeling similar around the same time as you!

Alan

Andy,

If its any consolation, our son who has no disability (now nearly 8 ) was 6 before he mastered even basic balance on a bike (and its still scary watching him weaving all over the place!). He showed little interest, wasn't physically particularly strong, and would rather have been inside playing on his DS, CBeebies, etc. Indeed even now, when with adequate incentive he'll ride 10-12 miles most of the "chat" will be about what he is going to do when he gets back home on Moshi Monsters etc... Really the only thing that spurred him on to finally learn was his friends were all doing it. He's never been good at following instruction from his parents in this sort of thing (or perhaps that should be - we've never been good at coaching his particular style of learning!). He's also well behind the local middle class standard of swimming. There are still a couple of people in his class as school who can't ride a bike.

I'm sure I was probably at least 6 when I learned and I think it is easy to read all the stories of children who seem to be "born in lycra" on web forums and assume that if your child can't ride before they go to school that this is abnormal. In reality remember that bike forums are frequented by people obsessed with bikes who are uber keen for their kids to rid. If you look at the population as a whole your son is not significantly behind in his bike riding. I'd bet there are a few other parents here with non-autistic children who have a similar disinterest in biking and therefore mastering the balance. I have to say we felt like we were doing something wrong when we read on here about the wonderful children and saw friends with brilliant toddler cyclists. In contrast our daughter, who is not even 3.5 has just started riding, but she is a completely different personality.

Good luck, at least your son might develop into doing something constructive with a computer rather than sitting on bike forums all day!

oops double post

As always, STW proves itself to be capabale of dragging itself up from bickering and brining a host of knowledgeable and positive posts to the fore.

Not much to add to the aboe other than to agree it may be about sensory 'overload' type issues rather than a physical balance one.

And as Poly says, 6 isn't that old to a) not be abel to ride a bike and b) not particularly want to.

Lots of good advice above and that 'stoker at the front' tandem that TJ posted looks like a good bet as you can talk to him and see how he's doing.

Andy - we've a spare micro scooter if you want it. Email if interested, don't worry if not. (also in Hants)

Andy

I know how you are feeling- especially when there are stories of kids getting on balance bikes straight out the womb!

My son has Cerebral Palsy affecting all 4 limbs and speech. He's almost 5 and has only just started walking very short distances c2-3 metres before falling so biking & skiing will be a long way off! It was hard taking him to school for his first day yesterday when you see all the other children running around and he's in a wheelchair. And noticing the sideways glances from the other parents.

However he isn't phased (perhaps doesn't fully appreciate the difference yet)-he sees biking & skiing on telly and wants a go. We were riding around Bedgebury (he was in a rear seat on my wife's bike) and he wanted to go off the family track onto the singletrack!

I would recommend the trike option, especially if it is a fixie(!!). Due to FB jnrs wobbly legs, pedalling is hard. However he tried the Pashley at Berdgebury and got some speed up as once it started, the momentum helped him keep pedalling.

Mission Cycles do a tag along with two wheels for extra stability and you can even add a more supportive seat if you're worried about him letting go. One thing to look for is the size of the trikes. One we looked at filled the boot of our Scenic without his wheelchair in! At one of his therapy sessions this month a rep from Quest 88 is coming with a range of trikes and they even do a folding one.

Don't worry about the charity aspect, some have an income/expenditure questionnaire so apply and let them judge. Some of the trikes we have looked at online are c£600-£800 by the time they add adaptions!

You're not alone feeling you can't bear the weight. We all go through that if you ever want to get things off your chest- my email's in my profile.

Neil

check out these folk for some good ideas too

[url= http://www.missioncycles.co.uk/ ]mission cycles[/url]

andy, you sound like a good dad 🙂

that's all i wanted to say, wish i could have more of a positive contribution to the thread but there's lots of great advice on here already!

Andy, not sure where you are based, but there is a Cycling For All scheme just outside Farnham, Surrey. I believe they have specially adapted trikes, tandems etc. that you can hire to take around the forest - [url= http://www.forestry.gov.uk/forestry/infd-72dg3h ]Alice Holt[/url]

HI all

I know the feeling, I am addicted to bikes and it is only this year my son, Matthew has learnt to ride a bike , or rather riding his sisters old bike or his mum vintage 92 Hardrocks, and he's now 13.

Matt suffers with aspbergers syndrome and would make an excellent health and safety rep, however eventually overcame his fears. spent most of the summer hols on his bike

You may of heard me shouting left brake or change gear around Delamere or Llandegla!!!

stick with it, it'll fall into place

And as far as off-road scooters go, these are ace! Rock solid build and pneumatic tyres, I want one (only get to play on it at work)
[url= http://www.bergtoys.com/scooter-beach-wagon# ]Steppy scooter[/url]

Andy, (i thought this was going to be a post about balance bikes but there's something compelling about a thread like this) all the best to you both and you sound like you're doing a great job. All i can offer if it's of any use is, I think my dad's a bit gutted i turned out a cyclist and not a dinghy sailor - my childhood lad and dad pastime was messing about in boats and i may not have seemed as interested as he was. But i'm eternally grateful that i had the chance to learn something like that and all that matters now is my dad spent that time with me doing something we had fun with. When i sail now, it's something that's more than just a pastime, it's memories too.

I'm sure your boy feels the same and will tell you one day. it's not so much about the riding as the time spent together?

Lovely thread - very dusty