I was out on Llandegla on sunday morning, it was the first time I'd ever been and very much enjoyed it. Except for just after the end of that climb through the tree stump wilderness round the back, I was struck off by the bike by the previous nights curry and had to dismount and crimp one off, albeit hidden (hopefully) from the track by some trees. This took me back to fondly remembering my first wild poo mtbing experience was when I was going up Skiddaw. I had to nip over a low wall and I can tell you that was the most scenic poo I have ever had. Awesome to look upon the grandeur of the lake district while curling one out, the relief was tremendous.
Where's the best place you've ever had a poo? or your best poo story? share do. 🙂
yeah shit loads
Loads. Every day for nearly a month in Chilean Patagonia, lots over the years in the UK either biking/hiking/running and getting caught short, and some pretty satisfying European jobbies too.
Nothing quite like a wild poo!
ps. I hope you dug a cat hole and didn't just poo on the floor for some other poor soul to find.
Best one I had was about 3am at the side of the road in Chamonix in some long grass next to the river. the grass was all dewy, great for cleaning ones self. Can't remember the view though as I was very drunk!
I had a massive dump when nearly at the top of Snowdon on the most perfect clear morning. A fantastic view! Clearing out the previous evenings Stella and kebab before riding down the Ranger
Its a throw up between Wild camping on the deserted south side of Loch Ness, similar on an island in Loch Oich or a day later further south down the Caledonian Canal overlooking Ben Nevis at sunset with a very moody looking sky
Something about paddling a canoe, makes me want to poo
Best few were runners trots and I was probably seen in all of them
Once on a busy thames path in some bushes (I was spotted)
Once in some conifer trees near kew bridge (when I looked round I saw people on the top deck of a bus looking at me)
Once in a tree near Osterly park (I was spotted, but I wasn't well hidden)
I've not really got any shame TBH
Loads.
More while running to be honest, something to do with the impact forcing things down. Luckily I usually go running off-road so there's plenty of opportunity for subtlety
Rules for outdoor toiletting (aswell as digging a hole)
1) Downhill
2) Downwind
3) Most importantly, with a view.
Also, my top tip is to have a piss seperatly first, to reduce the chance of getting your keks wet in the effort...
I'm a Crohn's disease sufferer so its just the norm for me......
I always have a pack of baby wipes in my back for just the occasion..
I've done a couple of trips wild camping around rural Morocco, where we didn't have any choice.
One morning my mate went for the long walk with a spade and a roll of paper. He found a nice secluded spot and got down to business.
As soon as he got going about 30 tourists on Quad bikes appeared from nowhere, and went flying passed him.
They didn't stop but passed within about 20 foot of him.
My mate had a dicky tummy whilst out walking his two dogs and left a 'rather runny deposit' on the path and then turned around to find both his dogs happily tucking into it!
Saved him having to dig a hole i guess but gross nonetheless.
Safe to say i do not let his dogs lick my face!!
I was in this club in Berlin...
Oh wait, not THAT kind of wild eh?
As i type, the thread below is about trail sanitisation - Oh the ironing....
Had my first ever on saturday. It was alright.
Only to mark out the trails for night riding....just follow your nose! 😆
Keks off pants off , legs through carrier bag handles pull up bag like a set of baggy plastic pants and let one out- top tip put some kitchen roll in the bottom to soak up the number 1 while doing a number 2, baby wipes for the finale and tie it off and bin it .
Alfresco - top tip don't hold on to a branch to give yourself the correct trajectory as branches can and will snap 😯
Well versed in " going wild" since I used to spend days at a time at the side of a river fishing
Ahhh, most scenic, on the side of Carn Beag Dearg looking across to the north face of Ben Nevis - lovely.
The key from an OS map acted as emergency loo roll.
butt nekkid behind the only tree at the summit of innerleithen red xc route climb
legend-wait for it-dary view + satisfaction
I know someone who doesn't consider it a proper ride unless he's pinched one out in the woods trail side, a roll of andrex is a permanent part of the gear he carries in his camelbak!
It's a real pleasure. I'm sure that the deep release you get while pooing in the squat position is better for you than being perched on a pedestal. It certainly seems to clear me out better than being at home.
I bury mine, or at least scrape leaves over it.
My most memorable was an evening sunset dump on a beach in New Caledonia. Yes, I buried it deep, but not so deep as to stop a squad of land-crabs from excavating a burrow & eating the stuff 10 minutes later.
Lucky them!
Yep,
working in a field (old landfill site) in the North East it was foggy and I needed to go.
No need to go too far then I thought and that farmer in the field next to ours going up and down in his tractor can't see me as its foggy.
Mid dump, the fog cleared rather more rapidly than I would have liked and as the farmer trundled by, I simply gave him a cheery " hello" and waved my bog roll at him.
Yep,
working in a field (old landfill site) in the North East it was foggy and I needed to go.
No need to go too far then I thought and that farmer in the field next to ours going up and down in his tractor can't see me as its foggy.
Mid dump, the fog cleared rather more rapidly than I would have liked and as the farmer trundled by, I simply gave him a cheery " hello" and waved my bog roll at him.
Up a tree is the best! Out on a limb which splits into 2 branches, 12ft up, reminds you that everything in nature has a purpose.
I normally strip naked when I trail poo. Well thats what I told the arresting officer
Grouse butts are perfect for the job as I discovered.
Plus the satisfaction that the next visitor will be some toff who has paid a small fortune for the privelege.
Mate found himself touching cloth whilst walking the dogs in the woods. After evacuating, he finds himself without loo roll, tissues or suitable leaf matter. What luck! There's a pile lovely fluffy orange material within arms' reach. His Mum had him bent over the kitchen table for 2 hours whilst she removed the shards of fibre glass from his crack with tweezers. Lesson learnt, loft insulation is not a substitute for Kleenex.
Ha Ha Northwind ! We wondered why you took so long at the top of stage 3 !!
Grouse butts are perfect for the job as I discovered.Plus the satisfaction that the next visitor will be some toff.
Genuine 😆
I lived in India for 3 years in the jungle and Himalayas, every morning outside. 4000 meters surrounded by 12ft heavy ganja plants and a view of a magnificent valley and peaks, not bad. Had a few large snakes come by in the jungle! My friends who live in Australia and the pyranees make sure the compost loos all have a beautiful view, why not?
When I was a teenager I used to summer with a friend on the island of formenterra and the local trick was to wipe with a well selected stone! Surprisingly effective.
hora - MemberI normally strip naked when I trail poo. Well thats what I told the arresting officer
Piccadilly Gardens isn't wild. 😀
I've pissed on the three highest British summits.
Think about that and wash your hands properly after your charity challenge.
Hels - I was going to post up that I hope he buried it 😯
2006 (I think?) National XC championship. Had a tummy bug,started the race with a large supply of bog roll in my pocket. Came last.
.
Had about 3 in my last 24hr race, after w while you just stop caring where you go.
.
I always bury it though
You do all burn the bog paper and bury the turds dont you ?
Do them all the time and leave them in little bags at the side of the trail for the Pooh Pixie:-)
Last year I had a stomach bug(normal procedure is to empty ballast tubes pre ride)and had to go wild on three consecutive rides in the Chilterns.
😳
Previously I've been behind the wall on the way up to Skiddaw House.
nice views.
I once rode with a fella that couldn't go alfesco ,despite complaining that his bowel was about to burst! 😥
Edric 64 - MemberYou do all burn the bog paper and bury the turds dont you ?
No.
I take them all home and post them to the Kennel Club.
Does the hard shoulder of the m56 whilst my car rolled into the ditch count? (bloody psp rubbish)
Just remembered - I took a dump down a chimney at a party in Soho once. Had to shout down to my mate to go and find some toilet roll, apparently the BT tower was my backdrop 🙂
I was in a Swiss Forest with some mates setting off fireworks and had a sudden need to go. Not my finest moment.
Went out on a fishing boat in the Black Sea. The old Bulgarian beer was pretty heavy and had a few the night before.
Needed to go and asked if they had a toilet, they pointed over the side. Tried to explain it was a turd that was coming and they laughed and and still pointed overboard.
Dived in and dropped one in the sea. Pretty weird trying to tread water at the same time.
russ - are you not supposed to just hang your arse over the side?!
Went on a 2 week walk through Knoydart once, living off Raven freeze dried ration packs that had been stashed along the route by Landy.
First morning all the expedition members disappeared behind a wall with the entrenching tool and all came back with a puzzled look on their faces. When my turn came the reason became clear... what started out as a healthy shiny length of brown cable suddenly faded mid-length to bright flourescent green, which it remained for the rest of the fortnight. No idea why.
Outdoor men pooh anywhere all the time. My question though is - whenever using whatever is to hand to wipe the "area" down, do you worry about ticks, and if so, do you ask a friend, partner,relation to check. And if said tick is in an awkward position (the tick as well as your "partner") how do you remove the blighter? - the tick that is!
steps of catholic church on sat night , 7pm, high street, ---must go someday and confess....
For years I carried loo paper in my sock when I went for long runs, the impacting just seemed to bring them on. No point in fighting it, do what nature intended. Not had the problem on my bike though.
Probably but there was young children aboard and I was a very small boat.
Would have scarred them for life!
Had to jump off the bike once in the peak district and hover over a clump of heather.
And pick a few dock leaves.
Ha ha - I just had to "log in to post"!
My experience was as a self-conscious 17 year-old Venture Scout spending the night camping next to Red Tarn at the summit of Helvellyn.
Didn't really know what the done thing was, so I went and rolled over a boulder and set about obliterating the spiders nest under there. Only once I was sprouting a hefty fifth appendage did a helicopter full of Japanese tourists pop up over Striding Edge and start snapping away...cue involuntary pinching off blade action and a nasty clean up job...
I remember waiting for a CX race to start once, looking round and seeing one of the entrants taking a last minute weight loss dump against a tree.
I know that sounds like he was hidden from view but he wasn't. Not from all the riders, or the spectators, or the people's who's houses lined the edge of the start line.
I guess a lot of current and forces guys will have a more relaxed approach to toileting privacy than the man in the street..
Heard the army trick is to vaseline up yourself before going, makes your arse non-stick apparently.
Totally scenic one by Strathchallech up by Cape Wrath. Me solo, could see for miles (to the horizon) in all directions. Not a soul in sight. Peat bog is easy to dig as well. Realized the source of the expression "going to the bog". Wet ones FTW!
To those doing passive-aggressive dumps in grouse butts - remember it is likely to be the hard working game keeper that has to go clean up your turd, not the 'toff' (more likely an American businessman in any case, bringing money and jobs to the rural economy and helping maintain the wild countryside from over-development etc etc).
i have a very relaxed attitude to cable laying, its others who seem to find it objectionable..
Numerous when running - including one in Germany which made me rather nervous
The most memorable was when I was running on quiet-ish roads beside the Seine in Paris a couple of years ago. Became desperate and was plotting how I could use benches when I saw a tennis club that was open. The most welcome French toilet ever.
Now I always try to evacuate before leaving as I only seem to run in London
Hundreds of times while a Squaddie.
Which reminds me of the time my mate was wearing full NBC kit and went to drop the kids off at the pool while wearing one...
👿 😆
Grid Ref NY 192075
During the ascent of Scafell Pike via Lingmell, beautiful views down Wasdale. First half was like a toffee crisp, second half was very different, like a smooth pine cone. I have pictures but I suspect that may lead to a ban.
Had one in the sea once when I was about 12, to my horror it floated!
The question about ticks reminded me:
Many years ago, in the wettish season in Nepal, in the rhodedendron forests. The damp ground was swarming with smallish leeches, which were attracted by the early wafts of gas as I (or we) dropped our trousers and prepared to poo. You could see the little buggers looping towards our backsides as we dumped: the leaf-litter looked alive. We had to squat, drop a little, shuffle a couple of feet away to avoid the leeches, & repeat. If we'd dropped our cheeks too close to the ground, one of the blighters would have crawled up. It has been known...
😯
I did a log on a log. Used my socks for the wipeage as my 4 squares of paper that has done for every other crap I've ever had to clean up didn't do the trick.
I thought we had "touched cloth" on this before & I was right
[url= http://singletrackworld.com/forum/topic/have-you-ever-had-a-wild-poo ]have-you-ever-had-a-wild-poo[/url]
lol thanks Mr shoot I thought I had done it on a different forum, seems not. Ho hum. Now where next?!
My last one was just behind Meanach bothy, dug hole with provided spade, let rip, wiped bum with toilet wipes, buried poo.
Previous one was on the NYM, went behind some trees & miraculously found a 3 layer empty fertiliser bag, extracted middle layer as bog paper!
a climbing buddy of mine can't help himself and has to have a dump at every crag we go to. he was completely unfazed by showing his arse to a packed stanage one busy sunday afternoon.
I'm currently enjoying the irony of reading this while on the throne...