[Closed] Giving up?

Have an affair

Now does that sounds as daft as giving up bike riding 😉

Me and my other half have the same issue over riding pace/style. We occasionally ride together, but more often will start together, ride seperately, maybe meet up part way though the ride, maybe not. Try it - works for us.

As far as the "getting bored" bit goes. If I find I'm getting a bit stale I just switch disciplines - maybe do more pure DH stuff, or do some road riding. I've had a pretty rough run at work recently and have ended up pretty knackered so my last couple of "trail rides" have turned more into skills sessions. Less head down thrashing, more cruising the climbs and sessioning the DHs and it's felt pretty good - I've been able to spend more time simply being out in the woods enjoying the weather.

I *would* try and get back commuting one way or another. There's nowt to clear the head as much as a good endorphin hit first thing in the morning to wake you up, or to burn off the day's frustrations in the evening. If you can't face the bike what about walking or running?

Mrs F
I find riding with new people is the best motivation, the North Leeds lot do a lot of the same stuff and so you need to ride with a few new people, or old people, pop down to the shop (Crosstrax) on thursday night 6:30/7pm for a spin around Ilkley moor.

What Big Dummy said. If you have lots of negative thoughts telling you not to do stuff, whether it is riding your bike or getting out of bed, a good way to shut them up is to do said stuff.

None of us here have to define ourselves as 'a mountainbiker' I think this labelling is a bit weird, people who go to the gym or play five a side don't use these things as a label. If you fancy going for a bike ride go for one, if not don't; it's not all or nothing.

One thing I would say however is that exercise in whatever form is good for you, physicAlly and for your state of mind; keep getting exercise, you won't get that unfit for biking.

I am so sorry you are feeling like this. We need all the woman we can get into mtbing.
Maybe taking a break would be good.

Having had most of 2007 off the bike, it really made me appreciate the riding when I got back into it.
Have you thought about going back to something you did in the past? My thoughts have taken me back to maybe starting horse riding again.
I know you mentioned that you love horses.
You are young and have plenty of time to go back to mtbing if you fancy it in the future.
My regret is starting late and just wanting now to do as much as I can, until the body gives up.
Goodluck with your desicion.

Our riding buddies seem not to be riding as much for various reasons and riding just the two of us just doesn't work - we are too different in our speeds and our approaches to riding.

Take some time out for a ride on your own . . . close to home so that if you're not really up for it then it's no big deal to cut it short and no pressure just ride at your own pace, when ever and wherever suits you . . . same with the running, but just take it easy and don't worry about the fitness thing. Run/ride for fun and the fitness will take care of itself.

Take care.

Thanks everyone again, I really appreciate your replies, they have given me a lot of food for thought.

I think I need to find a way of riding where I don't put so much pressure on myself, so I will try an come up with a way of doing that. I'll keep on with the running too as am enjoying that at the moment and at least it does something, gets me outside etc.

Bunnyhop, funnily I suggested horseriding to a friend just the other day.

Sorry to hear you fell like this mrsflash! Like said above it sounds more serious than simply not wanting to get out on the bike and I hope you get better soon.

The only thing I will say is that when I feel low (and by the sounds of things nothing in comparison to your situation) I have to get out on the bike to lift my mood. If I don't, I feel myself just getting moodier and lower than ever. Now the thing is I would suggest giving the biking a miss and finding something you really enjoy doing whether it be walking, running, swimming, hiking, climbing whatever. After you've given this a try you will probably find you really hanker after the bike and get back into ripping up the trails like you used to do.

I do find it strange though how such a keen biker that you are by all accounts you simply feel like giving up.

Not wishing to diss your other half at all but maybe he needs to go out on speedier rides on his own and also slower/paced rides with yourself to get you through this. I do this with my other half and it normally involves cafe stops, pub rides etc but at least she enjoys it and I don't leave her in the dust feeling like sh*t.

Ahhh sorry to hear about your problems Claire.... sending virtual hug!

Good luck with the CBT. I have heard some really good results with it.

Cheers Lowey. How is your daughter doing?

Have a break, rest yourself and find slower riding buddies 😉
From what I can see it's no riding the problem, it's that you are asking yourself too much. No one can ride at 100 % all the time. I left France being average in riding and now I am back being crap, never mind I ride a little bit more on my own, enjoy going slower and that's it.
As said your bike and the trail will never change... So why getting stressed out.

So why getting stressed out.

GRRRRRRRRRRRR people it's CLARE not CLAIRE... 😉

mrsflash - you are not alone with the partner observation. I too get stressed when trying to keep up with him and his mates. I therfore only go on rides where I'm invited, that way they now that it has to be slower, with more stops than usual. Also I've been riding with more couples.
Mostly I ride on my own, at a much slower pace but just keep going.
I'm pretty sure we are not alone with this, as many of the girls I used to ride with from shecycles felt the same.

Cheers Lowey. How is your daughter doing?

Very well thanks. She may even have her casts off this week... fingers crossed.

GRRRRRRRRRRRR people it's CLARE not CLAIRE...

😆 it doesn't matter. Although I do find it entertaining that most French people pronounce Clare very differently to Claire.

I have to say, in defence of Rich, he's mostly very patient. It's just at the moment I'm struggling to try at all - it's not just the speed thing.

Although I do find it entertaining that most French people pronounce Clare very differently to Claire.

Forget the bike, particuarly if you feel obliged for safety reasons to go out with other people - stick to running.

Besides, some good music, gently pacing along the trails, enjoying your own company - running's much more fun than biking 🙂

It's exactly the same name Juan, just the irish spelling not the french.

Dare you admit that on here mogrim??

Trouble is, at the moment it's making me feel worse

Explains a lot, especially if you're not feeling well.

Can't remember if you said you'd used Citalopram (or any other ADs) before.. Mrs North had it last year (after Seroxat making her very ill), and it did have a positive benefit at steadying her mental state. She also undertook CBT, but did so privately, rather than on the NHS (as the waiting lists in Manchester can be months). I'd recommend the private CBT route, as I saw it made a distinct difference for her and in many ways was ultimately more beneficial than the ADs alone. That said, the ADs allowed her to develop some renewed perspective, on top of which the CBT really helped. Apologies if I'm telling you stuff you already know.

Mrs North doesn't naturally turn to exercise (which is sometimes frustrating, given he has killer hand/eye co-ordination), but she and I did do some gentle stuff - just walks in the fresh air mainly. Sure, if you're already in good shape - as you are - then riding a bike is going to be no biggie. But, rather than feeling like you have to (which, I guess, if why it's contributing to you being down), do what suits you. Even if it's the proverbial ride down the canal in regular (non-cycling) clothes and without a helmet - believe me, it makes you feel more like a normal person!

I reckon you should leave the bike alone for a while. It/they will still be there when you feel like it again. Just some other, non-stressful (to you) activity would suit you fine. While she was off work, Mrs North picked up her passion for baking in a big way. I'm still trying to work off the effects now.... 🙂

mrsflash don't give up as your one of the pretty mtb'ers!

Ride on your own for a while, I am at the mo an can ride how I want to and as fast as I'd like to.

Good luck,

2Hottie

Dare you admit that on here mogrim??

Ah, the safety of the internet 🙂

Seriously though, if you prefer running why force yourself to go biking? I still go out every now and then, and still enjoy it, but somehow running is ATM more fun - I think it's the fact that I've done some exercise, as least as much as riding, but in less time, so I don't get stressed out thinking I should be doing something else.

well one is said claire and the other clare that's easy 😉 but I am not sure it helps 😀

If you fancy a relaxed no pressure ride without Rich then give me a shout. I am not one for riding in big groups and am certainly not fast so maybe that would be more relaxing?

Good luck with finding something if thats what you need, running or horseriding, my friend rides (and recently loaned a horse) and it has most definately improved her mind and body. She was so stressed with things at work, breaking down, and quite on edge all the time etc. Horse riding has really taken her mind off it and given her something else to focus on, it has really made her much more positive.

Take care.

OMINT I've been on fluoxetine twice before, but never citalopram. The doc said the side effects can be a bit nasty at first though so am a bit nervous about that, but he also said you can feel the benefits more quickly than fluoxetine. He seemed to be implying the waiting list for the referral wasn't too bad, I need to ring tomorrow so I should know then.

I suppose a lot of this is frustration - I know in my head that cycling should be making me feel better, it always has in the past. But for some reason I'm not getting the benefits on the rides I do go on, so I'm just getting the downsides of the stress and pressure I'm putting on myself.

Domino yes I think that would be really good (in fact Rich suggested such a thing at lunchtime today), it's silly we have never ridden together before really as you're only down the road.

Probably easier said than done, but try and take a step back from riding the way you are. There's often an easier route or people that just go a bit easier to go out with.
I've been all over the place with this, I can pin my first serious ride, a race to 1972. Since then I've seen friends come and go, peoples lives change in all manners, I've raced, I've chilled, I've gone from thin to fat though sadly not back again, I've even come close to fisticuffs with my buddies, I've kicked helmets into orbit and smashed bikes against trees (blamed Brant for a faulty frame then???) but it's always been worth staying with.
The only occassion I gave up totally and started drinking and smoking was after a very good year when I'd completed a full ironman, the Snowdon Marathon and road raced and TT'd and ran 1/2 marathons week in week out, I felt I needed a rest, which I took for two years.

Mrs F- I wouldn't 'give up' but maybe just leave it alone for a while, something you know will be there ready and waiting with open arms when you're up for it again. As for your pace or lack of it, there's always room for a slow one at the back of an STW ride with me:) take care

It's not a religion, or even a lifestyle. Don't worry about it. But try to find a substitute to stay fit and healthy.

Or get a Tandem MTB and have shared near-death experiences on a regular basis.

The doc said the side effects can be a bit nasty at first though so am a bit nervous about that

I am by no means an expert, though I do understand that the side effects may be stronger with the likes of Seroxat and Citalopram than with Fluoxetine - does "half life" make sense?

Mrs North was made very ill by Seroxat - she couldn't get out of bed for a month. Citalopram had no such effect, though she did get the "usual" side effects when starting up. These soon cleared (although some did linger).

I'm not sure, however, that the prospective side effects should cause you too much concern. It would be better to give them a try to see if you can work with them. If so, great. If not, don't hesitate in telling the doc.

I'm with the others - do what makes you happy, not what you think you ought to be doing. It's no doubt harder becuase you and GF are a kind of riding "couple" (everyone here holds you guys up as the perfect example of eating one's cake and having it..!), but a bit of divergence and change in focus will do you the power of good. A change being as good as a rest and all that.

That said, I'm going to make Mrs North ride her bike(s) more often..!

Have a child !!!!!!

Ok it might be a bit if an extreme but certainly makes me an Sascha get out on our bikes in the fresh air visiting/camping as many places as possible!

Anyway hugs from me Sash and Immy even though we hardly know you and a pic to make you smile
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Don't worry I won't let it put me off, things certainly can't carry on as they are, just am remembering the constant queasyness on the fluoxetine 🙁 The doc wants to see me monthly anyway so I'm sure it will all get reviewed often enough.

anyway, thanks again everyone, once again STW has come up trumps when you need it to. My bikes are not going on the classifieds just yet 🙂

LOL postie I love that pic of Imogen! Will you be mayhemming this year?

My bikes are not going on the classifieds just yet

Good on you for seeking help and not being shy about your troubles I bet there's more of us out there suffered with problems than letting on, we deal with them in our own way.

Anyway as for giving in biking yeah it's hard when you've been riding only a little and your fitness drops, I've hardly ridden in the last 3 years and mates have been good when I've been out. They've not complained even though I know it must drive them mad and the invites still come for trips away. However, last week I rode three times and even went out on my own which I've never done with exception of a costal pootle and loving it, my fitness is creeping back but most importantly my enthusiasm is right back.

You'll come back to it if and when your ready any riding buddies should understand and be happy to wait for you at the top of the hills.

The urge to ride my bike comes and goes... what never changes is the time and space it allows for some reflective downtime in the woods. If you need 'em, the trails aren't going anywhere... nor is STW. 😀

Good luck, MrsFlash!

Good luck with the change in pills as I was on those a couple of years ago. Coupled with some CBT and a very helpful partner I was off them in no time and back to full health. The greatest thing I ever learnt via CBT was the importance of talking things through with my gf (now wife).

Good luck and I wish you a full and happy recovery 😉

I didn't ride for two months the other year and now I am completely obsessed. But when I was ill and started riding again, I went out on my own. I used to ride out to a bench on my local hill, bring lunch and just enjoy the day - when it wasn't raining of course! It got me out of the house and slowly I got fitter without realising it and started riding more. Don't feel you have to ride though, then you beat yourself up and it is a never-ending spiral. Been there!

Mrsflash Come join us at dalby this weekend (ssuk) we'll get you back on the right track 🙂

Failing that a weekend down here in the Cotswolds with GF perhaps?

If I'm feeling a bit "ambiguous" about going for a ride, I tell myself that it'll be OK to bail at any point. I will admit to once not even getting out of the car at Milford Common and once turning round after less than 100yds.

But it takes all the stress away, and means that the other 98 times I didn't feel like riding, I actually did get to ride and (mostly) was glad I did.

I think this approach stems from the rather more natural reluctance to go windsurfing of the Welsh coast in winter. That can be very daunting, so the "one step at a time" breaks down the resistance quite well.

The other thing I do when windsurfing (if physically possible) is to make sure my last run of the day is a good one. That sometimes means saying no to "one last blast" when I know my body won't hold up to another beating from the waves, and I'll just get munched in the shore break, but sometimes it means waiting till its almost dark for things to calm down enough for a quick "out and back". But I always finish with a "Yeah that was great" feeling so I'll be eager to go back next time. I guess that's why we always park the car at the bottom of a nice fast techy descent too - so you get back with a stupid grin on your face and can't wait till next time.

And as has been said earlier, you're not closing the door on anything by having a break. When you're ready to start again all it means is you've lost a little bit of fitness. That comes back soon enough.

BTW, Mrs BJ and I are in our 50s. She now prefers a less rigorous pace. So I have to be a bit more thoughtful in planning rides. Last Thursday evening we went for a 90minute stady ride over Cannock Chase instead of my usual more hectic ride with the guys. A sunday ride will be an earlier start, then just 1 circuit of Llandegla red/black (she hasn't lost her appetite for fun) or CYB, Dalby etc. but then a pub lunch and a bit of pottering about on the drive home. And you know what? I really enjoy my rides with her every bit as much as the 6 hour epics in the peaks/lakes etc. Maybe its GingerFlash who needs to change his habits!

I just read the opening of this thread so forgive me for not reading the rest. I gave up riding my bike seemingly for good a year ago at easter, it was the summer before since I had been mountainbiking. I have since had one hip op and would appear to need at least two more before I can think of riding again, most likely I never will again. I'm 35 and its fair to say my life revolved around riding (mostly on the road in recent years) having to stop wasnt really that hard, it just hurt too much to be in anyway fun. Living with not being able to ride is much, much harder sometimes too hard. Last weekend I drove to ****in B&Q and saw my old club mates returning from a ride and started crying. I have friends who I havent seen in a year because I wouldnt be able to cope with seeing them.

erm, it might have helped to have read the rest AA...

Cycling can be the best thing in world and also the worst thing in the world. Put your favourite bike in the attic and it you must sell the others. You'll feel like you've stepped back and then go on a holiday and sit on the beach for a week. When you come back try something like Tennis or Golf where you will meet new people, make some new friends and will have fun. However long it takes before you feel comfortable go along to a 'social' event ideally to watch friends or MrFlash race. You'll meet old friends and you'll remember the fun you had, do this a couple of times till you hanker after getting the bike out the attic.

I go through phases of hating cycling, I'm in one just now, which could be down to moving house, waiting to hear about a new contract and not being as fit as I want to be.