Study Proves Hippies Have Infiltrated Singletrack + WIN LUBE

by 25

Charlie has taken a scientific approach to sourcing our next product for the Singletrack Merch Store

I started by profiling the staff at Singletrack Towers, as they are a fair representation of you lot, the Singletrackers. My study concluded that over half the staff are showing strong liberal hippy tendencies.

The prime indicators for this are colourful hair, big hair, and Chipps you can’t fool me by having no hair. The study also noted blatant use of brightly coloured clothing, beer and bicycles. Now, I have had first-hand experience of handling these biker hippies, with godfather of mountain biking Charlie Kelly being a frequent guest on my sofa, so I know what they desire, what makes them tick, and what gets them jazzed.

And the result of this thorough scientific study is…

The Singletrack Road Trip Tie Dye T Shirt (also available in plain grey for squares who obey the man).

It’s our Singletrack Lockdown bus, all fixed up, and hitting the road to trip it out, with a bike, surfboard, cool dog and big spade (why the big spade, that is a bit sinister, maybe he is really into sand castles?).

It’s cool, colourful, right on, and is constructed from organic cotton and beautiful vibes. It also does not exist… until the cats have left and the summer is gone. Brothers and sisters, get on the bus to coolville, noodle it out and put your dough down, and expect a Singletrack love parcel in early September.

Win some lube.

Can all comments please be in the language of either “Dude” or Beatnik”… otherwise you will do the brains in of half the Singletrack staff, they just wont understand what’s going on.

The best hippy beatnik jive comments will win one of four bottle of yellow Smoove Lube (Yellow because of something to do with a roadie thing in France?).


elliot brown singletrack watch
Elliot Brown Singletrack Anniversary Watch

You have until midday on the 8th October 2021 to order one of these very special watches.


  • This topic has 25 replies, 21 voices, and was last updated 1 month ago by Hndrk.
Viewing 25 posts - 1 through 25 (of 25 total)
  • Study Proves Hippies Have Infiltrated Singletrack + WIN LUBE
  • Premier Icon LAT
    Full Member

    Hey, man. do you have any patchouli oil chain lube, man? or something.

    or one of those little bags roadies keep their munchies in, i forget the name as my memory isn’t what it was, but crocheted in a rainbow pattern with a fringe along the bottom, man. or something

    Premier Icon mangoridebike
    Full Member

    Dude

    I don’t use money cos it just pays the Man

    I eat what I grow and it feeds me and the fam

    I’ve a problem with my bike though, it squeaks when it’s wet

    I need to bag some lube, can I trade you a courgette?

    Premier Icon dangeourbrain
    Full Member

    No black turtle necks? Ginsberg would be disappointed.

    Premier Icon LAT
    Full Member

    I saw the best chains of my generation destroyed by poor lubricants,

    Premier Icon LAT
    Full Member

    if not realized that this was a contest. i didn’t read the article 🤪

    Premier Icon Sam Forward
    Full Member

    Being an uber-vegan and having been raised a true trustafarian I’m in far out need of new threads that show the world how spiritual I am.

    Plus the hemp shop have a new no shirt, no service policy. I blame 5G for reducing the level of positive orgones in the ethereal twisting the minds of the poor sheeple, working all their days to pay the man.

    Anyway, namaste here talking to you lot I’ve got to get down to the goddess slam poetry reading then mummy is buying me a horse box to convert for glastonbury.

    Go in love funky sisters.

    Premier Icon Kendo
    Full Member

    Wise up daddy-o, those threads are primo. You dig?

    Premier Icon FB-ATB
    Full Member

    The commune I’m going to, you don’t need clothes.

    Premier Icon mark gibson
    Full Member

    Vegetable rights and peace

    Premier Icon Repack Rider
    Free Member

    I was never the same after I smoked a joint with Jerry Garcia. Of course, I was never the same before that either.

    Premier Icon Steve Reynolds
    Full Member

    Dude, that lube like totally ties the chain together.

    The chain abides…

    Premier Icon Matthew Hornby
    Full Member

    Is the lube ‘summer of love’ compatible? (or Love Island for us non-beatnik types)
    Seems a shame to waste it on pushrod chains.

    Premier Icon Hndrk
    Free Member

    Funny that you mention summer.
    „I waited all year for her and now all I can do is wait and see her go.“

    Premier Icon Hndrk
    Free Member

    Now for that little contest of yours (which might be the most un-hippy thing to hold and do): „The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to ride, mad to slide, mad to make a big save, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or consider a commonplace handlebar, but ride, ride, ride like fabulous yellow lube exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the tubeless tyre pop into the rim and everybody goes “Awww!““

    Premier Icon Thepurist
    Full Member

    Whoa duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuude. That T shirt is far out, it’s like the future made sweet love to the past and gave me a present.

    Premier Icon mariner
    Free Member

    elektrisches Fahrrad Nein Danke

    Premier Icon integra
    Full Member

    Cool contest dude, tie-dye and yellow lube, far out man 🌈

    Premier Icon danieljohnreynolds
    Full Member

    @twistedpencil – yeah well you know that is just, like, your opinion, man

    Premier Icon Blackflag
    Full Member

    There is no authority but yourself, dude!

    Premier Icon Pete
    Full Member

    We’re not into rape and pillage, we’re into soulfood and Steve Hillage…

    May your mind be as wide and open as your trousers.

    Peace
    Out.

    Premier Icon alan chambers
    Full Member

    A poem called “Dudes, be very very excellent to each other”:

    Special yellow lubes for being in front, not everything needs to be a competition though so please, don’t be a c***.

    Unless they’re an irredeemable bigot, then crack on. Peace ✌️

    Premier Icon edhornby
    Full Member

    Miles are flowing by like endless trail across a meadow top
    they singlespeed along the pass, they spin away across the dudeiverse
    Nothings gonna change my gear
    Nothings gonna change my gear

    Jai Guru deva, ommm

    Premier Icon natrix
    Free Member

    Dude, don’t drink the chain aid…………..

    Premier Icon Charlie Hobbs
    Full Member

    WINNERS… we have winners. Everyone is a winner baby, but these people are more win’y
    And the winners are:
    mark gibson

    HNDRK

    daniel john reynolds

    alan chambers

    I will be sending you some awesome Smoove Lube next week.

    An honourable mention goes to Repack Rider, because that is Charlie Kelly and we would not be here without him, and he has smoked with Jerry Garcia. Charlie, I will send you a shirt instead.

    Premier Icon Hndrk
    Free Member

    @charliedontsurf May I nominate @LAT instead? His “I saw the best chains of my generation destroyed by poor lubricants” is a genius adaption of Ginsberg’s Howl poem and actually inspired my little contribution. Love and cheers!

Viewing 25 posts - 1 through 25 (of 25 total)

You must be logged in to reply to this topic.