How A Singletrack Membership Can Save You From Polar Bears

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As we draw to the end of incredible Trump’s reign of great nonsense and made up facts, allow me to join in one last time. You see, if we learnt anything from Trump, it is that making up your own facts is not only OK, it’s also much quicker and convenient than using old fashioned factual facts.

Did you know that Singletrack members are a zillion percent more likely to receive the awesome Singletrack Mountain Bike Magazine in the post? This in turn makes them infinitely more likely to get all the cool Singletrack member benefits, such as:

  • Online and instore discounts (inc outdoor clothing, drinks, bike parts etc)
  • Discounts on cycle insurance,
  • Access to our ever-growing digital back catalogue of routes, magazines, and articles.

Beware the bears.

Now normally being a member would just be great and rad, and glorious, however in these exceptional times “new science” has proven that being a Singletrack member also adds additional protection. You see the country is not only in lockdown, but there is also climate change (if you believe the news), and it’s also snowing (Huh, how does that work?). Plague stalks the earth, closely followed by furious polar bears. Did you know that polar bears can swim for days and run at 40kph? (real facts can be found here Top 10 facts about polar bears | WWF ). How fast can you run? You certainly can’t out swim them in this weather. Having said that you don’t need to out run them, you just need to be faster than the guy beside you. Maybe you should start hanging around with slow people.

But my advisers have recently made some great, really great discoveries. We have discovered great, you know, very special people, great things… no one has ever said “I have been eaten to death by a polar bear whilst defending myself with rolled up copy of Singletrack”. That is great news.

Join us today

Member benefits

From unlimited access to content to offers on garden sheds. All full membership comes with unlimited digital access & ad free website

Free Member

Create posts and replies in the forum and post comments on editorial articles. Free to join. Just an email address required.

Digital Member

Full access to members’ content, digital back issues. New App issues (iOS/Android). Ad free website, merch discounts. Downloads, GPX, PDFs, iBooks

Print+ Member

All digital features + future print copies of Singletrack World magazine. Each issue contains 148 pages of ride inspiration, opinion, adventure and reviews

Life Member

One payment and no more – All the perks of Print+ and a very personal VIP service from us. Enjoy a lifetime of personal benefits. The Ultimate Singletrack membership

So the really smart people are Singletrack Members, and are safely at home, online shopping for booze and warm clothes with their member discounts, with a great magazine to not only read, but also roll up when the bears arrive.

Get on the benefits

Take a moment and go and check out the member benefits, discounts, digital back catalogue etc. Make sure you are logged in, and click the button below. You can also get there on a mobile device by clicking the “6 squares button” at the top of the screen, and you will then find a “handshake” icon on the left. On desktops, the handshake button is on the left under the green ST cog.

member button on mobile

Complete the look.

polar bear defence

Our model is 6’3″, size XXL, scared but prepared, and is wearing: Singletrack Trucker’s Cap, a North Face Parka (the sort of jacket that members can get a discount on at Cotswold Outdoor or Sports Pursuit). He is accessorising with an old air rifle and the latest copy of Singletrack.

You know I really struggled to write that nonsense. But for some people… well, just watch this… tiny windows and tiny fish?

Singletrack Full MembershipJoin us

If you like what we do - if you like our independence then the best way to support us is by joining us. Every penny of your membership goes back into Singletrack to pay the bills and the wages of the people who work here. No shareholders to pay, just the people who create the content you love to read and watch.

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