Five Reasons We Might Want To Leave Europe After All: Spotted at Eurobike

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We’ve had our heads buried in the world of bikes, and we’ve surfaced at the end of the today to discover that British politics is moving even faster than a souped up pedelec with go faster stripes.

Just in case you’re feeling uncertain and fearful about what the future may hold, here are five things to make you realise that the present is pretty scary too, and you should probably look forward to a brighter tomorrow, whatever it holds. Because if Eurobike is anything to go by, Europe is a scary place.

1. The wonky wheel.

Making us feel a little motion sick, we look at this and wonder why. What is it for? Why is it purple? What is the carbon footprint of the extra up and down-ness? We don’t know. We’re not sure we want to know. But hell, millions of people will probably vote for it anyway.

2. Pink Folding Electric Fat Bike

Be yourself, be you, be free.

This is what happens when you try to stand out from the crowd. We suspect if we saw the other side it would turn out to have a 1×13 drivetrain too. We must take a stand against this sort of thing and ensure bike riders stop devising ways of being different.

3. Cruelty To Animals

When you can’t tell if it’s a zebra or a sheep, GM farming has got out of hand.

Look at these poor creatures. We’re not sure if they had terrible lives or terrible deaths, but either way animal welfare is important and we should look after our beasty brethren as we would look after our own.

4. Modern Languages

Absolute Rancid Tractor?

We can’t show you this bike. It would upset you too much. The words alone are enough. Trust us, there was no art in this bike, and the only artist that had been anywhere near it specialised in piss.

5. Pink Hello Kitty Pedals

Hey, everything’s OK. Kittens.

Maybe things aren’t so bad after all. These exist and they will make someone happy (until they try to use them on a wet day).

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