No, that’s not a tear, it’s just dusty in here, OK? Today is a momentous day; a day well look back at with awe as the very firmament of the Universe has been shaken…
It’s the Barney Farewell Issue of Fresh Goods Friday!
Yes, dear reader, Barney – or Sir Barnabus Thundertruck Bi-Jimini-eck The Younger to give him his made-up name, is stepping down both from the mantle of Fresh Goods Friday Chief Poet and Bottlewasher, but also heading back to the vaguely normal world. Given that he only popped in a few short years ago to have a puff on the track pump and suddenly found himself with a job and lofty (though never as lofty as him) title of Staff Writer, we reckon the boy has done good.
So, we’re sorry to say that we’re going to be saying goodbye to Barney and, in Top Gear style, whoever takes over the reins is going to have a tough job ahead. Don’t worry, though, his lyrically loquacious literature will continue to drip off the pages of Singletrack as he’s already promised to continue to write about half of the magazine…
And with that shocking news, let’s get on with looking at some shiny things!
Scott Genius LT 700 Tuned
Price: £6,099
From: Scott
In one of those colours that makes most people put sunglasses on, and most self-respecting cameras whimper, is this bb-height adjustable (thanks to widgets in the shock linkage, don’t you know) carbon 170mm beastie of maxitude. Seriously, it’s very, very fluoro, like someone using a highlighter at an ‘eighties sock convention.
All the bling on this piece of kit, too. There’s a SRAM XO chains with a neat little chain-guide on the bottom of the chain stay – which you can’t see because the camera threw a fit. But trust us, it’s there.
Bizarrely, thesis dropouts (which work with 142×12, 135×12 and 135 QR systems) were designed by politician Ian Duncan Smith, in those scant few moments when he’s not trying to leave everything he claps his eyes on…
170mm of travel courtesy of Fox’s lovely 36 forks up front and the Fox/Scott Nude shock in the rear…
which are all controlled by these levers at the bars. The fork has the compression tweaked, and the shock goes down from 170mm to 110mm of travel to help such a long-legged thingy to climb like a gazelle. Which thinking about it also have long legs. But how much travel does a gazelle have, eh? EH?
XTR handles the stopping-in-a-timely-manner
And look at that melange of cables. Yes, the red ones are also much brighter than they seem, and yes, they also make the Singletrack cameras whimper.
Adidas Evil Eye Evo Pro L Glasses
- Price: £130-£170 depending on lens tint
- From: Adidas
As worn by a certain top enduro racer, the Evil Eye Evo Pro L (for large) offers “superior technology and a huge field of vision thanks to its extreme wraparound design”. The Pro version includes a removable sweat blocker. Not to be shared with friends, OK?
Kinesis 2016 Maxlight Wheels
- Price: £399
- From: Upgrade Bikes
From our pals at Kinesis, these Maxlight wheels offer ‘normal’ 32H hubs and 3x lacing, thru-axles with a Boost option and come in 10/11speed Shimano or SRAM xD flavours. The internal width is 35mm which Kinesis reckons is perfect for 2.3 to 3in tyres. They’re a mere £399 a pair and there’s a 29in version too. They’re ‘tubeless compatible’ and you’ll need a tubeless kit (like that from Effetto, also from Upgrade) to get the most out of them.
Crank Brothers Highline Dropper Post
Price: £274.99
From: Extra
Tested for a few years, completely redesigned and apparently weather-proof, the new Highline post from Crank Bros had better be good. It offers a low profile seat clamp and mechanism to allow a low ride height, comes in Country (30.9) and Western (31.6) sizes and has a nifty remote lever that can mount above or below the bars. This one is already on a bike, having grit sprayed at it.
POC Women’s Resistance Shorts
Price: £79.99
From: POC Sports
POC Index Air Glove
Price: £37.79
From: POC Sports
Bluer than a blue thing. Almost Klein blue – and William Gibson fans are now thinking whether these gloves would fit well with Hubertus Bigend’s (it’s ‘bay-jhend’ OK?) Klein Blue suit. They won’t. But they might work with your bike gear…
Clement XC LXV Tyres
- Price: £54.99
- From: 2 Pure
Fast and speedy. Speedy and fast. Clement is on a roll with all sorts of great treads for ‘cross and mountain bikes that all share one theme. They have reasonably minimal tread and they’re for making you go fast. Got that?
Endura Coolmax Socks
Price: £5.99
From: Endura Sport
Endura SingleTrack Women’s Jersey
Price: £34.99
From: Endura Sport
Endura SingleTrack Lite Women’s Shorts
Price: £54.99
From: Endura Sport
Matching shorts
Endura Hummvee Lite Glove
Price: £18.99
From: Endura Sport
Endura 3/4 Hummvee Lite Women’s Shorts
Price: £56.99
Includes liner. Super light fabric.
Madison Alpine Gloves
Price: £19.99
From: Madison
Giro Women’s DND Gloves
Price: £26.99
From: Zyro
Giro New Road Women’s Ride Merino Jersey
Price: £37.50
From: Zyro
Giro New Road Women’s Ride Shorts
Price: £62.99
From: Zyro
Pearl Izumi Elevate Shorts
Price: £71.99
From: Madison
Bright, bright, bright! These ones are for men. And confident men at that!
WTB Ranger Tyres
- Price: TBA
- From: Hotlines
Ranger Tyres – we reported on them this week and now they’re actually here (well, our test ones are) – promising fast rolling, all the grip and all of those great ideals. They seem grippy enough on Planet Earth, but how about on Planet Dirt? Stay tuned for that one.
Flying Fergus 3
- Price: £4.99
- From: Book shops/Picadilly Press
The latest episode from Sir Chris Hoy’s Flying Fergus series of books for 5-8 year olds. Though now that Barney’s not going to be looking over our shoulders, we can put down our technical textbooks and give these a read.
It’s looking pretty cloudy out there, so lets put something summery on and hope it brings the blue sky back:
(No video? Here’s a link)
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So, farewell then Barney: I hope it was nothing that I said when I visited last week. Fresh Goods Friday is the bit I like the most, and I spend all week waiting for it. Long may it continue, one of these days I shall have the courage to buy one of these fabulous bikes, though at present I am coveting a cyclocross bike.
Good luck Barney, and don’t forget to do a supermarket sweep of the stationary cupboard on your way go.
Farewell Barney. Your wit and slightly deranged mind will be sorely missed.
How kind of Singletrack Towers to let you keep that Scott Genius LT 700 Tuned as a leaving present though…. 😉
Laters Barney, I hope whoever takes on FGF has the same taste in muzak as your good self.
Good luck Barney, thanks for all the fresh goods and also for the Blue Ant Trilogy reference this week – some of my favourite books!
Good luck Barney!
Good luck Barney 🙂
Give him a huge pay rise and get him back on here at once.
So long Barney and thanks for all the fresh!
You are an inspired wordsmith- I’ll miss reading your articles.
Have a look in the moving cupboards too!
So long Barney, you’ll be sorely missed..!
Oh Barney Barns, it was your last day. I popped in this arvo as I had a feeling it was looming. Didn’t realise it was Mayhem weekend also. Track you down soon somewhere else then :0)
Aww, thanks for all the lovely comments folks! But like the smell of prawns sewn into the curtain rails, I’ll be hanging around for a while yet!
And while I’d love to lay claim to the Gibson references up there, I didn’t write most of this FGF (I guess it’d have been quite weird if I did) 🙂
Cheerio