Fresh Goods Friday 269

by 10

269, the goose drank wine, the monkey chewed tobacco on the street car line. The line broke, the monkey got choked and they all went to heaven in a little rowing boat…

Actually, that was 369, wasn’t it?

Never mind.

After last week, wherein the office’s favourite phrase was revealed (it’s not exactly riveting), I ascertained an imperative to determine the most sesquipedalian locution I could conceivably conceptualize.

And if I’m honest that was probably it.

And as our colleagues across the pond languish in what I’m now going to call Vendredi Noir (just to wind them up), waddling to and from hypermarkets in a turkey-engorged fug of bacon and cinnamon, clutching televisions, meat and fridges in an orgy of consumerism, we at Singletrack take the moral high-ground, and instead show you things you actually have to make an effort to buy, elsewhere on the web. At least, it’s a sort of mental exercise. And you’ll develop really nimble fingers…

Orbea Occam TR M-Ltd

IMG_0507This carbon beauty came in all the way from the Basque Country. The Occam TR was ridden by Barney in Zona Zero this year, and he came away  impressed. This is the Occam TR M-Ltd, with 120mm of travel front and rear, top of the line XTR 11 speed drivetrain (with a 11-42T XT cassette) and XTR trail brakes, a Raceface Next SL chainset, Fox Float 34 Factory forks and a ton of other top end stuff.

IMG_0510Orbea’s UFO tech does away with the chainstay pivot to make a back end that’s lighter and stiffer. DT Spline carbon wheelset, too.
IMG_0514Everything is Boosted front and rear – so it’s more stable and stiffer (and won’t fit into my roof-rack. Bah!)…

IMG_0515The Shock is a Fox Float DPS with a custom tune. Because of the inherent springiness in the flex of the seatstays, you don’t need to load as much air in there either. Win!IMG_0512The standard arty shot. Barney was using a different camera, and it really brings out the imminent-rain of the Yorkshire landscape, no?

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IMG_0509Next SL carbon cranks and asymmetric chainstays.IMG_0511A purposeful 3/4 shot. We’re looking forward to seeing what the Occam can do in the Yorkshire Slither.

Price: £5,599.99

From: Orbea

Singletrack Bobble Hats

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IMG_0521A brace of finest cranial cosetting chapeux with your favouritest magazine emblazoned across the front. You too can look this gorgeous.

Price: £29.99

From: Our Shop

Fenwick’s Bike Cleaning Awesomeness

IMG_0547Stuff to clean and lube your bike with. Have you SEEN the weather? It’s positively URGH here right now…

  • FS-1 Bike Cleaner Concentrate, £9.99 1 litre
  • Stealth MTB & Road Chain Lube, £19.99 250ml
  • Foaming Chain Cleaner & Sponge, £8.99 500ml

From Zyro

Blackburn Wayside Hybrid Pump

IMG_0545A sort of miniaturised track pump (or an engorged trail pump). It’s got a foot stand, and a hose, and a pressure gauge, and it could conceivably be stuffed into a Camelbak too.

Price: £59.99

From: Zyro

Mavic Crossmax XL and SL Pro Pedal

IMG_0544Clipless pedals for an upcoming grouptest. Very light, resin bodied, loads and loads of mud clearance and float in a rather Time-like stylee. The SLs are the smaller ones; the XLs have a large platform for stability and that.

Price: £120 each

Mavic Crossmax Ultimate Thermo Jersey

IMG_0534Chipps does his best Green Goblin impression, and it’s magnificently disturbing. Off-centre zip to minimise chinchafage. Wear on its own or under a jacket.

Price: £75

Mavic Aksium Convertible Jacket

IMG_0532Rogue Squadron-esque windproof softshell with detatchable sleeves. Our one now comes with non-removable Chipps, which is something we’re trying to sort out. Unsuccessfully.

Price: £100

Mavic Crossmax Pro Thermo+ shoe Cover

IMG_0550To protect your delicate tootsies in the event of cold and glop. Especially handy if you wear meshy disco slipper XC shoes.

Price: £65

Mavic Crossmax Ultimate H20 Short

IMG_0543Waterproof shorts anyone? These ones come to just below the knee. Somewhat handy for inclement weather – not that we’ll have any of THAT in Calderdale this year, heavens no.

Price: £115

Mavic Crossmax Pro Helmet

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Head gear for All Mountain riders, apparently. Anti mozzy mesh, padding, comfy etc etc. Adjustable visor and goggle fitment, too.

Price: £115

Mavic Crossride Elite Shoes

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Trainer-esque mtb adventure shoe for an upcoming trail-shoe feature. Mesh, toe and heel protection, stiff shank and a Contragrip sole.

Price: £80

All Mavic gear from: Mavic

Sock Guy Wool Crew ‘Xmas Ugly Sweater’ socks

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Some gloriously cheesy socks from Sock Guy, just in time for the Festive Season…

Price: £11.95

From: Silverfish

Gore Universal Gore-Tex Socks

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Waterproof socks made out of Goretex. Here, Chipps makes himself some Special Friends.

Price: £39.99

Gore Element Gore-Tex Active Lady Pants

IMG_0502Ladypants from Gore. Waterproof riding keks with visible bits made of GoreTex Active, which is comfy next to the skin.

Price: £139.99

Gore Element Windstopper Soft Shell Lady Bib Tights

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Windstopper bibs have a patented zipper ‘for an easy biobreak’ – which is code for ‘you can have a wee when you’re wearing them’.

Price: £119.99

Gore Element Lady Thermo Tights+

IMG_0504Thermal tights. The fabric is doubled in exposed places to maximise warmth. Apparently the seat insert is optimised for short and medium-sized rides.

Price: £79.99

All of the Gore stuff from Gore.

Early Rider Spherovelo

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There’s no sense of scale to this photo. In fact this thing is over 11 feet tall

Andy from Fisher Outdoor stopped by with some stuff for kids – first up this thing. It’s a sort of omnidirectional bike with a couple of coasters on the bottom supporting two enormous mouse balls (ahem).

Price: £69.99

Early Rider Bonsai

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It’s a balance bike, it’s wooden and it looks very cool. we particularly like the rear mono-stay.

Price: £119.99

Early Rider Road Runner

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Light, aluminium street/gravel balance bike. Drop bars, pheumatic tyres and a mini Brooks-esque saddle too, for true retro-verisimilitude.

Price: £149.99

Early Rider Trail Runner

IMG_0557Light, again (3,8kg). 29er geometry, apparently, and the same saddle as the Road Runner in a 14in wheeled trail-ripper format.

Price: £149.99

All from: Fisher Outdoor

RockGuardz mudguard

2015-11-24 12.13.55CG330 Evo2 mudguard. Which loosely translates as a mudguard as small as possible, but ‘with big mud stopping capabilities’. Fits most forks.

Price: £39.50

From: RockGuardz

Happy Bottom Vegan Bum Butter

2015-11-24 12.16.55Charlie’s new Arse Lard. Packed with things to assuage your ruptured arse.

Price: £17.99

From Charlie

Renthal Apex Stem

2015-11-24 12.19.1431mm stem, which is about as short as you can get without the bars and steerer actually kissing.

Price: £79.99

From: Renthal

Reed Chillcheater Waterproof Wading Socks

2015-11-24 14.53.57Waterproof socks. Long waterproof socks. And what’s more…2015-11-24 14.54.10…everso slightly kinky rubber-looking long waterproof socks. Which is absolutely fine by us…

Price: £23.00

From: Chillcheater

FUEL10K breakfast products

Fuel BreakfastA range of ever vigilant breakfast products from the good people at FUEL. Liquid breakfasts (vanilla, banana and strawberry), protibricks (protein enhanced weetabix, as far as we can tell) and some very handy looking instant porridge pots (with protein, natch) in Forest Fruits, Golden Syrup and Honey, Nut and Raisin flavours. Apple and Cinnamon Protioats (you can guess, right?) and granola as well. And all of it wrapped in some very surveillant packaging. Look at the eyes!
IMG_0527

The eyesIMG_0528

THE EYES

Prices:

  • Liquid breakfasts: £1.49
  • Granola: £2.99
  • Protibrick: £2.69
  • Protioats 10 sachets: £2.69
  • Instant Protioats: £1.09

From: FUEL10K

Dexshell Waterproof Socks

DexShell SocksWaterproof and breathable and – erm – sock shaped socks. Dextrous too, apparently. WOO!

These are the Wading, and the Thermlite socks.

Price: £34.99 – Wading; £23.95 – Thermlite

From Dexshell
Whew! Another huge Fresh Goods done and dusted. Keep your eyes peeled for more choice gear in the office next week (when we can finally prize the chocolate from the window of the Advent Calendula). Until then, STAY FRUITY
ST out

Barney Marsh takes the word ‘career’ literally, veering wildly across the road of his life, as thoroughly in control as a goldfish on the dashboard of a motorhome. He’s been, with varying degrees of success, a scientist, teacher, shop assistant, binman and, for one memorable day, a hospital laundry worker. These days, he’s a dad, husband, guitarist, and writer, also with varying degrees of success. He sometimes takes photographs. Some of them are acceptable. Occasionally he rides bikes to cast the rest of his life into sharp relief. Or just to ride through puddles. Sometimes he writes about them. Bikes, not puddles. He is a writer of rongs, a stealer of souls and a polisher of turds. He isn’t nearly as clever or as funny as he thinks he is.

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