269, the goose drank wine, the monkey chewed tobacco on the street car line. The line broke, the monkey got choked and they all went to heaven in a little rowing boat…
Actually, that was 369, wasn’t it?
After last week, wherein the office’s favourite phrase was revealed (it’s not exactly riveting), I ascertained an imperative to determine the most sesquipedalian locution I could conceivably conceptualize.
And if I’m honest that was probably it.
And as our colleagues across the pond languish in what I’m now going to call Vendredi Noir (just to wind them up), waddling to and from hypermarkets in a turkey-engorged fug of bacon and cinnamon, clutching televisions, meat and fridges in an orgy of consumerism, we at Singletrack take the moral high-ground, and instead show you things you actually have to make an effort to buy, elsewhere on the web. At least, it’s a sort of mental exercise. And you’ll develop really nimble fingers…
Orbea Occam TR M-Ltd
This carbon beauty came in all the way from the Basque Country. The Occam TR was ridden by Barney in Zona Zero this year, and he came away impressed. This is the Occam TR M-Ltd, with 120mm of travel front and rear, top of the line XTR 11 speed drivetrain (with a 11-42T XT cassette) and XTR trail brakes, a Raceface Next SL chainset, Fox Float 34 Factory forks and a ton of other top end stuff.
Orbea’s UFO tech does away with the chainstay pivot to make a back end that’s lighter and stiffer. DT Spline carbon wheelset, too.
Everything is Boosted front and rear – so it’s more stable and stiffer (and won’t fit into my roof-rack. Bah!)…
The Shock is a Fox Float DPS with a custom tune. Because of the inherent springiness in the flex of the seatstays, you don’t need to load as much air in there either. Win!The standard arty shot. Barney was using a different camera, and it really brings out the imminent-rain of the Yorkshire landscape, no?
Singletrack Bobble Hats
From: Our Shop
Fenwick’s Bike Cleaning Awesomeness
- FS-1 Bike Cleaner Concentrate, £9.99 1 litre
- Stealth MTB & Road Chain Lube, £19.99 250ml
- Foaming Chain Cleaner & Sponge, £8.99 500ml
Blackburn Wayside Hybrid Pump
Mavic Crossmax XL and SL Pro Pedal
Clipless pedals for an upcoming grouptest. Very light, resin bodied, loads and loads of mud clearance and float in a rather Time-like stylee. The SLs are the smaller ones; the XLs have a large platform for stability and that.
Price: £120 each
Mavic Crossmax Ultimate Thermo Jersey
Mavic Aksium Convertible Jacket
Mavic Crossmax Pro Thermo+ shoe Cover
Mavic Crossmax Ultimate H20 Short
Mavic Crossmax Pro Helmet
Head gear for All Mountain riders, apparently. Anti mozzy mesh, padding, comfy etc etc. Adjustable visor and goggle fitment, too.
Mavic Crossride Elite Shoes
Trainer-esque mtb adventure shoe for an upcoming trail-shoe feature. Mesh, toe and heel protection, stiff shank and a Contragrip sole.
All Mavic gear from: Mavic
Sock Guy Wool Crew ‘Xmas Ugly Sweater’ socks
Some gloriously cheesy socks from Sock Guy, just in time for the Festive Season…
Gore Universal Gore-Tex Socks
Waterproof socks made out of Goretex. Here, Chipps makes himself some Special Friends.
Gore Element Gore-Tex Active Lady Pants
Gore Element Windstopper Soft Shell Lady Bib Tights
Windstopper bibs have a patented zipper ‘for an easy biobreak’ – which is code for ‘you can have a wee when you’re wearing them’.
Gore Element Lady Thermo Tights+
All of the Gore stuff from Gore.
Early Rider Spherovelo
Andy from Fisher Outdoor stopped by with some stuff for kids – first up this thing. It’s a sort of omnidirectional bike with a couple of coasters on the bottom supporting two enormous mouse balls (ahem).
Early Rider Bonsai
It’s a balance bike, it’s wooden and it looks very cool. we particularly like the rear mono-stay.
Early Rider Road Runner
Light, aluminium street/gravel balance bike. Drop bars, pheumatic tyres and a mini Brooks-esque saddle too, for true retro-verisimilitude.
Early Rider Trail Runner
All from: Fisher Outdoor
CG330 Evo2 mudguard. Which loosely translates as a mudguard as small as possible, but ‘with big mud stopping capabilities’. Fits most forks.
Happy Bottom Vegan Bum Butter
Renthal Apex Stem
Reed Chillcheater Waterproof Wading Socks
FUEL10K breakfast products
A range of ever vigilant breakfast products from the good people at FUEL. Liquid breakfasts (vanilla, banana and strawberry), protibricks (protein enhanced weetabix, as far as we can tell) and some very handy looking instant porridge pots (with protein, natch) in Forest Fruits, Golden Syrup and Honey, Nut and Raisin flavours. Apple and Cinnamon Protioats (you can guess, right?) and granola as well. And all of it wrapped in some very surveillant packaging. Look at the eyes!
- Liquid breakfasts: £1.49
- Granola: £2.99
- Protibrick: £2.69
- Protioats 10 sachets: £2.69
- Instant Protioats: £1.09
Dexshell Waterproof Socks
These are the Wading, and the Thermlite socks.
Price: £34.99 – Wading; £23.95 – Thermlite