Borderline PMBA Enduro Round 5: report – VIDEO

Round 5 of the PMBA enduro series saw us at Grizdale, in the Lake District.

Waking up on Saturday morning to the sound of shotguns in the field next to my house can mean only one thing: summer is drawing to a close and autumn is on its way. That, or the neighbours are arguing again.

As the local hillbillies went about the task of shooting anything that moved, I got the van loaded and made sure I had my wellies and umbrella. And after weeks of warm dry weather, the north of England did not disappoint with torrential rain and high winds on the Friday night and Saturday morning. Dreams of roosting dust and dry loam were now a thing of the past; nappy rash cream and woolly undies were on the dream-menu instead.

I arrived at Grizedale midday on Saturday to have a look at the unrestricted stages; already there were vans in every layby and filling up the visitor centre carpark. I met up with Joe Harrison (Marin, Stan’s No Tubes rider) and his parents and headed to Grizdale bikes to get the lowdown on the stages.

Having raced here before I had a reasonable idea, but is always good to have a look at how they’ve been taped, and to work out what lines are going to work best. Turns out this was a good move as Kev and Mike (with the help of local pinner George Sharpe) had taped the stages wide giving plenty of scope for imaginative lines.

After checking out whatever we could, we headed back to the vans for a quick change of clothes and set off to the Eagles Head for steak pie, mash and a couple of pints of Loweswater Gold.

Although it had steadily chucked it down for the majority of the night we woke up to a clearing sky and headed to the main carpark to meet up with the rest of our mates. We signed on and headed out to practice the stages that had been off limits on the Saturday and dial in our lines from the day before. Back to the van for some lunch and a bit of maintenance, the Lake District rock taking its toll on my bike with a bent pedal and a damaged rear mech.

With the sun now shining it was time to head out on our race lap. The PMBA races are super laid back; you can ride the loop with your mates and seed yourselves accordingly at the start of each stage.

Stage 1

Stage 1 started in a clearing deep inside the forest then dropped into the trees and off a small drop, into a super off-camber rooty right hander. It carried on down through the tight trees, and we were faced with multiple line choices as the track came out into the open; a few fast corners, and down a steep muddy chute. Unfortunately I caught the rider in front as we dropped down the shoot; a couple of words of encouragement as he pulled over and I was past.

Next up was a flat-but-technical sprint up a couple of rock steps before I dropped down through a small rock garden and into a fast catch berm, off a jump, two more bermed corners and then a sprint into probably the most technical part of the track; a small step up and then step down, offc-amber and littered with muddy roots and wet slippery rock, get this wrong and it’s gonna hurt! A quick brake check on the way in to set the bike up, my Schwalbe Super gravity tyres hooked up and I was through and across the finish line. A great fast and techy stage to get everyone’s heart racing.

After what seemed like an eternity we passed back through the main arena on our way out to stage 2; people are already finishing stage 5 so best stop chatting and get the hammer down.

Stage 2

Stage 2 is the longest of all the stages and for me the most fun. After catching a rider on stage 1 I positioned myself behind a couple of mates for the best chance of a clean run. This stage was originally dug by the guys that run the UKGE, and offered a great mix of terrain with tight tech, open loam, a fire road climb and balls-out descents! The stage started tight in the trees with mud, rocks and roots to catch you out, with a couple of tight corners and a steep muddy chute littered in tree stumps and roots. This opened out into a slight muddy clearing, over the brow and into an off camber traverse – had to stay high before slapping 3 epic deep rut berms.

HERO BERMS!

Out onto the first fire road for a super-fast long right hander then a huck to flat on the generously taped middle section. More rooty corners and a traverse across a fern covered hillside with mature pine trees, this section had changed quite a lot since practice with several new lines showing. It was hard to pedal on this section, so you had to maintain your speed and work the trail to get the best out of it. Now it drop onto the next fire road for a short uphill sprint which was also part of the transition up to stage 3 – so there were plenty of people there to heckle and offer great words of advice – like PEDAL!!!!!!! (Thanks Bex Baraona) Off the fire road and down a steep rock filled descent, if your bum wasn’t wet before it was now! Across a footpath and the trail got faster and faster, I fired off a log step down, with a slight left across some roots at warp speed and then left into a difficult right hander; time dig deep for a quick sprint and across the line!

Stage 3

Stage 3 started off the top of Carron Crag, the highest point in Grizdale forest – this would be make or break for many people. The stage starts with a tight singletrack descent; I hopped to the edge of the track – it’s much smother and faster. It then dropped down a small off-camber slab and into the trees; a quick sprint, then down through the Data Tag chicane and back out into the open. From here it was fast, wide, wet and rocky, the trail went left and right and dropped down every increasing rocky stepdowns. I two wheel drifted to the outside of the corners toward people lining the trail repairing punctures. There were so, so many sniper rocks – I had to be on my line ot avoid coming a cropper. A hard sprint down to the finish, but I went over the bars unable to unclip and ended up face down with my bike on top of me,fumbling around elegantly, much to everyone’s amusement! What a stage though – hold it wide and let it slide!

Stage 4

Just a quick transition down a fire road and we were there. A quick uphill sprint to get us going then we dropped down through the trees on a fast hard pack walkers trail. This was only a short stage but had a couple of corners that could really catch you out, a left hander with roots forcing you down towards a tree stump, and a tight chicane where the trail crossed another round a couple of trees. This had a really slippery exit so it was slow in and fast out. Let go of the brakes, a couple of hard pedal strokes and you were pinning like an Ewok on a speeder bike through the narrow trees. Right left right and across the line! One stage left…

Pure terror

Stage 5

Stage 5 was short but sweet. A quick sprint down the fire road, then into the trees turning back on yourself, fresh cut trail then into the rock slab of DOOM. I had practiced this about 5 times and had crashed every time. Crashed on the way into it, crashed my way down it, and crashed out the other side. One time I even felled a small tree using my testimonials! Anyhow I arrived at the slab of doom in my race run and, lo and behold, a crash awaited me. Thankfully it was just a small off, with genitalia intact. Now a lung and leg burning sprint all the way back to Grizdale bikes for the end of the stage.

Racing over, the arena was alive with excited people and tales of glory and smashed dreams. I high fived my mates and headed off to the timing tent to hand in my dibber. The timing was super-efficient – I handed in my timing dibber and instantly got your stage results and overall time printed out on a receipt sized piece of paper. The results then updated on a large TV screen as riders arrived back; no waiting around, and instant bragging rights amongst your mates. When the last rider was back the results were checked and the podiums were on.

I was stoked to come away with the category win and 5^th fastest time of the day!

Thanks to my sponsors: Evil Bikes, Twelve 50 bike shop, 100%, Royal, 7IDP, Five ten and everyone else who has helped me this year (our Doris X)..

Also thanks to all my mates at these events; you make the events so much laidback fun.

And finally, thanks to Mike, Kev, Duncan and everyone else who puts the events together – and most importantly the marshals who without we would not be able to race. Thank you.

Elite men:

1 Sam SHUCKSMITH
2 Cal DEW
3 Matty STUTTARD
4 Sam FLANAGAN
5 Edward ROBERTS

Women:

1 Carrie POOLE
2 Rebecca BARAONA
3 Martha GILL
4 Melissa PEARSON
5 Emma KNIGHT

U18 Boys:

1 Nial OXLEY
2 William WELFORD
3 Tom WILSON
4 Jim TOPLISS
5 Seb GLEDHILL

Senior men:

1 Ben CLARKE
2 Ben PARKIN
3 Callum RUSSELL
4 Ryan DUTTON
5 Oliver RAINE

Master Men:

1 David READ
2 Mat WRIGHT
3 Daniel JOHNSON
4 Nathan CAVALIER
5 Chris DIXON

Veteran Men:

1 Darren HOWARTH
2 Ian CATION
3 Martyn ALDERSON
4 Paul MASHITER
5 Lee BAXTER

Grand veteran Men:

1 Howard STUTTARD
2 Chris NORMAN
3 Bill DEERE
4 John MERRY
5 Lawrence SMOKER

Barney Marsh

Barney Marsh takes the word ‘career’ literally, veering wildly across the road of his life, as thoroughly in control as a goldfish on the dashboard of a motorhome. He’s been, with varying degrees of success, a scientist, teacher, shop assistant, binman and, for one memorable day, a hospital laundry worker. These days, he’s a dad, husband, guitarist, and writer, also with varying degrees of success. He sometimes takes photographs. Some of them are acceptable. Occasionally he rides bikes to cast the rest of his life into sharp relief. Or just to ride through puddles. Sometimes he writes about them. Bikes, not puddles. He is a writer of rongs, a stealer of souls and a polisher of turds. He isn’t nearly as clever or as funny as he thinks he is.