Fresh Goods Friday 244

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Ah, it’s deadline week in the office! As I type, there is a fervent pounding-of-keyboards and clicking or trackpads as people frantically try to pin errant bits of magazine before it goes to print. There is a faint smell of bitumen intermingled with ozone, which is a sure sign that Chipps’ brain is overworked. Look! You can see the smoke drifting out of his ears, as if each one contained a hoarde of chainsmoking pixies. Which I suppose, in a manner of speaking, they do.

The editorial office hums like a well-oiled machine, interrupted only by the occasional backfire, and the odd ‘aargh’ as another magazine minion succumbs to the stress. This is usually followed by an abrupt high-pitched staccato of broken glass, as they head by the most direct means possible to the off-licence, through the window on the first floor. Oh, it doesn’t matter; minions are pretty much disposable, anyway. You can buy them in the local one-stop-shop in the biscuit aisle, next to the chocolate digestives.

But enough! Let us look away from this frantic paddling, gentle reader. Let us concentrate instead on the beautiful magazine-scented swan which is poised to emerge from such frenetic labourings by following this linky HERE.

And once you’ve done that, you can put on your sunglasses for the first of this week’s offerings, in Fresh Goods Friday. Ooooooooooooooohhh… *pouts*:

Cove HustlerDSC_0043

First up is this Cove Hustler, which Pete from Silverfish dropped off earlier this week, in a colour which can only be described as ‘verdant’. Or possibly ‘aah, my eyes’, which doesn’t roll off the tongue quite as well. But it’s a very fine looking beastie in the flesh – unfortunately despite my best efforts, my camera really doesn’t agree with Neon Green. It look much nicer in the really real, it really does.DSC_0041Here it is again in a 3/4 aspect photo: very dynamic (and possibly thrusting). All we need is a rider with some pro elbows and a steely glare, and a corner to trundle around at 3mph whilst trying to look fast. Our build has a Pike up front (the RCT3 dual position air model) and skadloads of SRAM throughout – 1x, natch.


SRAM Roam 50 wheels. ‘Roam’ apparently can mean ‘to wander without direction or aim’ – much like the copy in this Fresh Goods Friday. Ooh, look! Butterflies!…

I think I’m going to be able to see this green on every photo I take from now on…

Ah yes, the Headbadge Shot. I’d call this a ‘signature shot’ if I didn’t think that pretty much everyone does it. Or if I was at all pompous (actually, I *am* pretty pompous. I just hide it behind enormous layers of delusional ego and self importance). But blimey, that green makes it look like my camera is melting from the inside out, doesn’t it? I really am crap at taking photos.DSC_0050The camera’s behaving itself a bit more now. So here’s a nicely machined link.

Price: Frame – £1695; XO1 build kit – £2795

From: Silverfish UK

Saracen Ariel 15X

DSC_0053The ‘x’ denotes that this is ‘frame only’ version (otherwise you can buy the whole bike as either the ‘151’ or the ‘152’. Can you guess how much travel it has? Can you? Oh, alright, it’s got 150mm.

Chipps is busy festooning it with bits as we speak (well, not quite, but he’s probably thinking about festooning – which is now my word of the day. FESTOON. FESTOON. FESTOON).DSC_0057Single-pivot with multiple linkages. Very Terminator. “Come with me if you want to live…”. Mind you, if you were halfway down a mountain and you *didn’t* go with your bike it probably wouldn’t end well.
DSC_0059Designed in the Yooo Kay. I’m assuming that 6013 is the type of aluminium, unless that’s the year it’s been sent back from.DSC_0060It’s got an hydroformed aluminium front end mated to a swoopy and elegant carbon arse (technical term).

Price: £1599

From: Saracen

Schwalbe Procore

We’ve finally got our sweaty paws on some Schwalbe Procore gear, which is basically a tyre within a tyre. You run a roadie-esque inner, which looks like the sort of thing you’d attach to your turbo trainer wheel, at higher pressures, and an outer tyre at lower pressures for grip an’ that. The combo lets you get away with lower pressures without hurting your rims, apparently, and do a bunch of other heretofore unheard-of cool stuff, probably involving corners, or grip.DSC_0063

This may look like an ordinary valve, but WAIT! Look more closely, viewers. Can you see a little hole at the very bottom? With the whole thing screwed down like this, air from your pumpypumpy device goes into the innertube. Unscrew the thread halfway up the valve, though, and air is diverted through that little hole to inflate the tyre. Clever, no? If you’re a bit confused, a cross section looks a bit like this:DSC_0061Looks pretty interesting. And it’ll work on any rim (unlike a prototype we saw which had two valves) – bonus! These ones are for 26in wheels, so we’re digging out some wheels to play with and we’ll report back soon!

Price: £156.95

From: Lots of places

X Tools

DSC_0041 (1)Some cool workshoppy stuff from X-Tools came in this week, too. Some cable cutters (if you don’t have any cable cutters yet, GET SOME. They’re indispensable for – er – cutting cables. Nitrile gloves keep your hands nice and clean when fettling (and don’t contain Latex, which can be allergenic), and a Bike Mat is a great thing to keep your cream shagpile carpet clean as you dissassemble your forks in the living room whilst watching the telly.

Price: Pro Cable Cutter – £17.99, Nitrile Gloves x100 – £8.99, Bike Mat – £8,99

Brand X Bottle Cage

DSC_0078Honestly, it’s so very, very pink it deserves its own photo. It’s GLORIOUS. Also available in other colours. But why would you want to?

Price: £6.99

All from: Hotlines

Hope Stealth Race E4 EVO brakes

DSC_0068In for a forthcoming grouptest (light yet powerful – the opposite of Barney) are these Hope brakes. Four-pot design (each pot is a 16mm phenolic piston) for maximum stoppage, they’ve got ten titanium bolts and 2 aluminium ones, and a lightweight alloy lever to keep the weight down. We’ve also got some 180mm floating rotors to go with them.

Price: Brakes – £180 per end; Rotors – £40 each

From Hope

Cratoni Alltrack Helmet

DSC_0070Large peaked, enormo-vented gnar-met with a quick-open strap system, available in a variety of colours. Here, Chipps is wearing it for the opposite reason to the one intended – he’s trying to prevent his brain from exploding. It’s available in this Blue/Lime, yes, but also in black, white or red.

BAM bamboo clothing

UK made bamboo clothing from BAM – we’ve got a variety of kit in in both boys and girls sizes.

  • Men’s Long Sleeve Raglan Base Layer – £35
  • Men’s Tempest Air T – £23
  • Men’s SS Base Layer – £28
  • Women’s Long Sleeve Base Layer – £35
  • Women’s Long Sleeve Air Base Layer – £35
  • Women’s Short Sleeve Contrast Fit Base Layer – £28

Lindarets ReMount

DSC_0043 (1)

A little delrin device (to minimise bar-knackerage in the event of a crash) that slides onto your handlebar and lets you run your dropper-post remote at a more comfortable angle. That’s the idea, anyway. Here’s our launch story about it: Lindarets launches thumb lever thingy

Price: $19

From: Lindarets

Edinburgh Distillery Rhubarb and Ginger Gin


Wow. Just… wow. WOW. This stuff is amazing – although I’m trying to stop myself from drinking it like cordial. With a straw. It’s half past ten on a Friday morning, and I’ve only had three. It’s magnificently pink, gin-esque as well as being (as you’d expect) somewhat gingery and rhubarbular. It’s like pouring liquid summer down your throat – but with more of a hangover.

Price: £17.99

From the Edinburgh Gin Distillery

With that’s we’re off – investigating the slime that the trails have inevitably become after the rain of the last couple of days – hope things have fared better in your neck of the woods!

And finally, (just for you, ‘cos I like your twinkly eyes) – this has been doing the rounds recently. It’s interesting to find out that Iron Man likes Pepper because of her donkey feet and her Beanie Baby collection:


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Comments (12)

    I will offer to test the gin.

    too late, Greg. Too late.

    From the language being used for this article, i suspect the Gin has been and gone already…..

    (and Barney is almost certainly rhubarbularly festooned with delusional phenolic pumpypumpy swans. (to take all my fave words from this weeks FGF !))

    Can you guess hoe much travel it has?

    No, but I can guess how much gin you’ve had!

    Thanks for another amusing Friday instalment, and already excited on the forthcoming Issue 98…

    Sorry Greg, the gin’s bought and paid for and now at my house. (Though if you’re passing… bring ice)

    That ProCore kit has come in a bit pricier than i’d expected. Still looking forward to hearing results and if the product hasn’t been made obsolete with the growth in popularity of wide rims. I’m a big guy, ride hard and want to stop burping my tyres 🙂

    Wow, for a grand less, you can buy that Cove frame from Blueflow Bikes, just with a Switchback sticker on the downtube instead. Looks like they’re licensing it from Caribou too.

    Liking the Cove.
    A lot.

    Well, thanks to reading this I’ve now got a bottle of Saville orange Chase gin chilling in the fridge (I couldn’t get to Edinburgh to get some of that rhubarb gin and the postman isn’t that quick). Tomorrow may be a slow start…

    I wonder if the bushes on the 15x will last longer than a weekend…

    #Trailrider Jim – the Blueflow bikes look very similar but not identical, from what I can see. And although the thought of saving a huge chunk of money is very tempting, the Blueflow website is dreadful. (Why are they selling three models with different names which they claim are identical?) Unless a website makes sense I’d be loathe to spend any money at all with them.

    Surprised Barney didn’t drop the “s”-bomb. Or was nothing approximately an foot and a half long?

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