How do you make a Yorkshire omelette? Fist nick three eggs...............
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Yorkshire joke
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Posted 2 years ago #
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omelettes? we don't have none of that fancy stuff up 'ere, tha noz
Posted 2 years ago # -
What do you call a pie on top of Barnsley town hall clock?
something ta eight
(funny in south yorkshire apparently)
Posted 2 years ago # -
Do you have to live in Yorkshire to get this?
Posted 2 years ago # -
Who's 'Nick Three Eggs' and why do you have to fist him to make an omelette?
Posted 2 years ago # -
There weren't any paedophiles when I was a lad, you had to buy your own sweets.
(Courtesy of Michael Mcintyre)
Posted 2 years ago # -
ROFLMAO @ grumm
Posted 2 years ago # -
+1 with the LOL at Grumm
Better than the OP
Posted 2 years ago # -
Yorkshire man takes his cat to the vet.
Yorkshireman: "Ayup, lad, I need to talk to thee about me cat."
Vet: "Is it a tom?"
Yorkshireman: "Nay, I've browt it with us."A Yorkshiremans dog dies and as it was a favourite pet he decides to have a gold statue made by a jeweller to remember the dog by.
Yorkshireman: "Can tha mek us a gold statue of yon dog?"
Jeweller: "Do you want it 18 carat?"
Yorkshireman: "No I want it chewin' a bone yer daft bugger!"
Posted 2 years ago # -
What do you call a sarky cowboy from Barnsley?
Tex Piss
Posted 2 years ago # -
A Bradford couple are playing 'I spy' in the kitchen.
'I spy with my little eye something beginning with T' said the husband.
"Tea pot said the wife." 'Nay Lass!'
"Tea towel." 'Nay Lass!'
"Toaster." 'Nay Lass!' he said, drumming his fingers on the work top.
"Oh I don't know" she said at long last "I give in"
'It's easy' he said. 'It's t'oven!'Posted 2 years ago # -
A Yorkshiremans' wife dies and the widower decides that her headstone should have the words "she were thine" engraved on it.
He calls the stone mason, who assures him that the headstone will be ready a few days after the funeral. True to his word the stone mason calls the widower to say that the headstone is ready and would he like to come and have a look.
When the widower gets there he takes one look at the stone to see that it's been engraved "she were thin". He explodes - fooking 'ell man, you've left the fooking "e" out, you've left the fooking "e" out!
The stone mason apologises and assures the poor widower that it will be rectified the following morning. Next day comes and the widower returns to the stone mason - "There you go sir, I've put the "e" on the stone for you".
The widower looks at the stone and then reads out aloud -
"E, she were thin".
Posted 2 years ago # -
As I used to say to a friend from York who sadly passed away a few years ago:
You can tell a Yorkshireman, but you can't tell him much!
Posted 2 years ago # -
I work in Barnsley and the word "eat" most definitely is pronounced "eight"
Posted 2 years ago # -
How are you pronouncing eight though?
ate?
eyt?
Posted 2 years ago # -
It's a play on words - "eat" is pronounced "ate". So "something to eight" refers both to the time and the eating of the pie. Probably......
Posted 2 years ago # -
Bloke from Barnsley with a sore arseh0le asks chemist "Nah then lad, does tha sell arse cream?"
Chemist replies "Aye, magnum or cornetto?"Posted 2 years ago # -
LOL, please keep them coming!
Posted 2 years ago # -
Big
at the arse cream joke
Posted 2 years ago # -
I Thank you,
At work we just got taken over by a Barnsley company, they all talk funny at the new Head Office (but very quaint). This is the joke being banded around by text (and I'm from North Yorkshire, nowhere near round there, it's another language/dialect, even to me).
The MD has a very strong Barnsley accent, it's difficult to take him seriously.
What the bloody 'ell are you going on about?Posted 2 years ago # -
Its funny cos its true!
Here's a classic one
Yorkshire AirlinesPosted 2 years ago # -
Been in YKS for ten years, its 'rayte' good
Posted 2 years ago # -
its so good even the bloke lancashire loves it
Posted 2 years ago # -
not being funny but has no-one bothered with the spelling mistake. i seem to think fisting happens darn sarf.
Posted 2 years ago # -
Post 5 - Grumm kindly pointed out the fisting.
Posted 2 years ago # -
HAhahaha at Grumms first post, very good, well done sir
Posted 2 years ago # -
I'm from yorkshire, lived in yorkshire all my life, have met some very strong accented folk, but never, ever in my time speaking to yorkshire people have i ever heard them utter the famous " t' " at the start of any words.
it just doesn't happen!
Posted 2 years ago # -
Really pook? You've never heard someone say "I'm just off to t'shop" or something like that?!
Posted 2 years ago # -
As Clarkson once said - it is more inferred than said (ie someone from Yorkshire couldn't say the band name 'The The' as it would just come out as a twitch).
But it IS alive and well - you clearly just haven't noticed it.
Posted 2 years ago # -
woody2000 - Member
Really pook? You've never heard someone say "I'm just off to t'shop" or something like that?!
ah yes - quite right. But never "it's in t'oven" when not arsing about.
Posted 2 years ago # -
It's a glottal stop, there's no T sound.
Posted 2 years ago # -
Surely Pook, you must have heard someone say
"I'll just put us tea in in t'oven"?Posted 2 years ago # -
no, it's effectively in _oven. No T anunciated!
Posted 2 years ago # -
There is a sound though, but not distinctly a 'T'.
Posted 2 years ago # -
Wharrabout "in't th'oven"?
Posted 2 years ago #
Topic Closed
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