If you really want to hear something horrific, Fairytale of New York had a death-warmed-over redo by Ronan Keating. Unutterably ghastly, it has to be said. Or if that’s not bad enough, there’s Leonard Cohen’s Halleluiah as murdered by Alexandra Burke.
But the winner, the absolute star in the pack, has to be Blur’s Song 2. Covered, ‘for your pleasure’ by Robbie Williams, of all people. Listen to it on YouTube and hear the sound of a barrel-bottom being scraped so hard it’s about to wear through.