Just split from the wife, she decided she wanted a break 4 weeks ago and decided the other night that she hasn’t missed me, is not in love with me and has no feelings for me so we called it a day.

Never thought I would feel so empty and shite as this is the last thing I wanted. We’ve been together 11 years and it was supposed/is our 7 year anniversary this weekend.

Head is a mess at the mo, feelings range from angry to empty please tell me things will get easier and offer any advice you can

Things will get easier.

Sell the house.

The only words of advice I can offer you are “time is a great healer”. It’s cliched I know, and nobody ever knows how much time is enough time, but it’s true…

Breaking up from someone you love sucks, especially so when they’ve fallen out of love with you, I’ve been there and done it myself. Try to keep busy, do things with your mates, ride your bike lots and perhaps rekindle any old hobbies or interests. Can only say from experience though, that getting straight out there on the pull (at mates advice I might add), and doing the inevitable, only made me feel a lot worse initially too!

Good luck…

from personal experience yes it will.

It will get better – that’s an absolute certainty, but it does take time. Speed things up a little by keeping busy, even though you don’t want to, go on bike rides with friends, take up new hobbies, redecorate, etc. Carve yourself out a new life and put the old one behind you. Do not drink alcohol. If you are really struggling and you start slipping into depression, speak to your GP.

It will fella, you will feel lost for sure.

But in time it will get better, no point staying with someone if they don’t love you, enjoy your new freedom.

When it happened to me I had the best 24 months ever once I got my head sorted.

Chin up we’re here for you fella 🙂

Blimey there’s been a few of these threads lately, must be something in the water :/ sad.

Get out with your friends and let them help you through it. Things will seem brighter in a few weeks, it’s just you are probably still in shock. Look after yourself!! You’ll get good advice from some round here, loads of them seem to have been dumped lately 🙁

It will get easier. A day at a time.

It will get easier. Occupy your mind. Take time to ride
, read, whatever you need to. Use this place too. Good people lurk here if ever you need to take your mind off things. Plus, you’re always welciome up here in Sheffield if you want a peaks tour

Thanks so far, have taken a couple of days of work and had one of my best rides ever yesterday rode from home to lady bower via eccy woods, stanage, bamford, win hill and then bamford for the train to Dore.

I am now down with the olds for a few days to get away and get my head round the harsh reality that the past 11 years have been written off and am now thinking abouts what’s best for everyone as unfortunately there is our little un caught up in this, so as hard as it is I need to still get on for his sake and I want to make this as painless as possible

Time will sort it fella as said above. Its a sort of ‘how long is a piece of string’ type question though. Keep biking and treat yourself to the odd night out with your mates and you will be ok. This place is good for a bit of inspiration I’ve found so all the best 🙂

Mr 5 0, sounds like you’re local. Give me a shout for a local riding bud. We’re a nice bunch. Email in profile – Crookes

from personal experience yes it will.

+1.
(Good) Buddies.Bike.Beer (and Time) will help.

Sadly these things happen, and quite often,but things do get better,and someone else will come along and help you forgive and re start your life.

It just takes time, and a bit of thinking out.

Doesn’t sound like the last 11 years are a write off to me, you’ve got a nipper and I’m sure you’ve got a heap of good experiences and memories. They’re pretty valuable things.
Get out for more awesome rides and do take people up on offers of meet ups, rides, a few beers, etc.

Pook YGM

It’s a good idea to keep yourself occupied with things which you have never done before – one of the biggest problems is that you will be ‘hard-wired’ for your old life, and much of your routine will therefore have an automatic association with your ex. Do things which are not in anyway associated with her, otherwise it will simply cause you to constantly think of her. Take up evening classes, dance lessons, hiking, whatever. Ideally things which involve a lot of interaction with other people. Of course you won’t want to, but do it anyway. And the more difficult and challenging it is (in the social sense) the more good it will do you.

No I know the last 11 year are not a write off in terms of life experience as I wouldn’t change any of it, just mean on an emotional level that I’ve put 11 years in to this and its not worth shit

Yes it gets easier and better and yes, richiethesilverfish is right. Good memories are good memories. You might not enjoy them at the moment, but in time they will get back to being just that, good.
Making yourself get out and do something, anything, helps too.

Also trying to keep busy, gonna throw myself back into work on Monday and I have some good friends that have been there for me already and the bikes are always there for me

bikes are lumps of metal, if you need your lady back, give up riding.

Paul, ygm back. This is what we do (sometimes). You’re more than welcome along.

[video]http://www.vimeo.com/24648738[/video]

(I do realise it’s crap!)

sell her stuff and spend the money on hookers, 2 at a time if possible

It will get better – I went through this a few years back, got back together due to circumstance… and regretted it. I don’t think either of us really wanted to be where we were, and I found that my forgive and forget nature had abandoned me completely which led to probably the darkest part of my life. Actually worse than when she left me, which is saying something.

The net result was I decided to call it a day – I should have realised years ago that when one party decides they have had enough there is little point fighting it. There is a reason it isn’t working – so accept it and move on with YOUR life. I know it seems harsh and all but you will be happier in the long run. I know I am (now) 🙂

Don’t keep your emotions bottled up—let them out and let yourself honeslty feel the hurt–it’s there and trying to deny it only prolongs the it.
It will get better, and quicker than you probably can realize right at the moment. Be sure and keep the love flowing to the little one.

As tempting as it is, don’t suggest you try to escape with too much of the scotch/beer/wine—then you wake up with a mind-bending hangover and still feel the same.
Time is of the essance.
Courage and the best to you in working through this trying time.

It will get loads better .I split up from my partner after 12 years in April .I see my son often spend loads on bikes and went to the tour which I would never have done before .I joined a gym and spend good times chilling with my mates and I have a new girlfriend .Life is sweeter than its been for years

bikes are lumps of metal, if you need your lady back, give up riding.

Plenty of women around only one hobby

Hey… open your eyes.. you lost a lady that you knew for 7 years… pick yourself up.

Ride your bike, talk to your mates, carry on.

Look forward to all the dirty filthy sex that you will have in the future with other women.

Ride your bike more.

Trust me, I know what its like.

pook…EXCELLENT vid! well done mate.

You will be miserable for a bit, a loveless marriage is miserable for life. You’ll be happier soon.

Captain it’s got nothing to do with my biking, if it was that easy I would give it up to be with her but that is not the cause.

Thanks for all the other advice. I would defo like to meet up with some of you to go biking and I am slowly starting to come round to the way things are and am looking forward to starting a new life and enjoying my time with the little un

I am slowly starting to come round to the way things are and am looking forward to starting a new life and enjoying my time with the little un

You’ve cracked it mate……..you’re on the road to recovery 🙂

Expect setbacks every now and then though – it’s a rocky road.