- This topic has 48 replies, 39 voices, and was last updated 12 years ago by coffeeking.
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Why dont people help
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projectFree Member
In the last 3 months i have found a lady who has fallen at 21.00 hrs on a dark road, cut her head, and semi conscious, phoned an ambulance,people just walked past, one older more mature lady, even stepped over her, and complained about the blood on the pavement.
Saw a chap walking down the road with a cut to the head, stopped to help him, he had been mugged, phoned for an ambulance, the number of people who walked past, mumbling about drunks etc.
Then tonight, just out for a quick spin between the Tour de France race on itv4, saw 2 people standing with a young chap, who had fallen off his bike, i stoped to ask if he was ok, he was slightly drunk, had had a few tumbles on his bike, and had been lying on the road for a while, till somebody stopped, we stayed with him for 15 minutes till a freind came to help him and take him home, not one person stopped or even asked if everything was ok.
When we where waiting, he said”thank you so much youre the kindest people ive ever met”, almost brought a tear to my eyes, it makes it so worthwhile to stop and offer help.It costs nothing to offer help, or ask if they need help, someday it may be one of us.
sofatesterFree MemberHave a medal for your humanitarian work.
Tour de France race on itv4
Why didn’t the bunch wait for the stragglers when they fell off there bikes in the final 20km? I think i even saw one of the riders standing on a rivals wheel while he grappled with a twisted stem. Plus, no one mentioned the poor spectator who took one in the chest at full race speed.
Scum, all of them i say and they weren’t even drunk. Though can’t confirm if they where drugged or not, as that will have to wait for a full WADA investigation.
TooTallFree MemberApathy. It is the biggest crime of all. The very worst thing about humans when you put a load of them together is when they stop seeing the others around them as people just like them.
JunkyardFree Memberaye good point tootall I always top and you did the right thing.
Top tip never stop outside a pub to help.
once had a motorbike crash in front of me ..got out car and started to deal with him he was screaming and moaning. very drunk man spent the whole time trying to remove his helmet/persuade me to and i had to restrain him rather than deal with the injured man despite 999 telling him not to do it and why – risk of head injury and if they are moaning and screaming they are breathing so no need.millcarFree MemberIts almost an appauling but widespread attitude.
I have to say it upsets me enormously. been involved loads of rescues mainly climbing but helped out in any situation. Find the whole apparent ethic of passing by just in case i’m intruding or might get sued very upsetting.
big_n_daftFree Memberit happens on the hill as well, a number of years ago coming down off Ben Nevis stopped to help a kid and his mum, the mum suffering from serious food poisoning. Kid was asking people (lots of, as it was a weekend and sunny) for help but they all walked by until our group which had just climbed the 3 peaks cycling inbetween in 60 hours start at lanberis-finish on top of the Ben stopped to help.
we stopped, gave first aid and sent for help, family helo’ed off the Ben after a bit of a wait.
it’s the old 80:20 rule, work on the basis of 80% of people being selfish, self interested, and happy to stiff you
projectFree MemberOn a good note about 2 years ago, watching and riding part of a off road cycle race, a chap fell off and obviously fractured his hand /wrist, turning a nasty colour and he was in pain, so i walked him and his bike to the nearest road and awaited the attendance of a mobile marshal, who had been radioed by another marshal, every single cyclist asked if we where ok, did we need anyone calling, or did we have a mobile phone, now that was great, compared to the general public.
HermanShakeFree MemberI used to be apathetic, but I can’t be bothered anymore.
There are some interesting studies into the criteria people need to fulfil before they interact with a person potentially in need. We stereotype a scenario and decide whether we fit into it or not. In an odd way I was slightly relieved to read that some people can’t help but behave in such a way.
I think the more people attempt to empathise the better. There is no them, only us.
Tiger6791Full MemberHelped a old(ish) lady out at the tip today, I noticed she was struggling with an old bed frame. Asked if she needed a hand and she said yes & thankyou.
All a bit of karma
CoyoteFree MemberI find big_n_daft’s tale a little disturbing. WTF is wrong with people that they can walk past someone in distress?
CharlieMungusFree MemberWTF is wrong with people that they can walk past someone in distress?
Have you read the teacher strike threads?
WoodyFree MemberMaybe it’s area dependent but I find the opposite in the NE. as people are generally very willing to help.
DrJFull MemberI was composing a long reply to this topic but … naaah … f*ck it, can’t be arsed …
lukeFree MemberI help if I can, even if it’s little things like reaching for the tin of beans at the back of the shelf in the supermarket.
Helped with first aid several times including a seizesure and a lady who broke her hip.
The one time I wanted to help but the wife told me not to as it was dangerous was a car hit a deer and it was blocking the road, I said to the wife I was going to hop out and help them move the deer and the car is to the gateway a little further up the road, as it was dark and I was off to work, the wife told me not too, the next day in the local paper it was reported that the person who stopped to help, had been runover twice!BigButSlimmerBlokeFree Memberf*ck it, can’t be arsed …
..the answer to the original question
CaptJonFree MemberWoody – Member
Maybe it’s area dependent but I find the opposite in the NE. as people are generally very willing to help.+1
I crashed a few months back and five people rushed over pretty quickly. One even spotted a police car round the corner and got them over. Two tried to call an ambulance at once!
atlazFree MemberIt’s the same everywhere. We were in Barcelona a couple of weeks ago at a festival and someone who’d obviously been going a bit too hard at it just keeled over. We were standing 20 feet away and were the only people who went to get him some help (okay, his girlfriend was a bit preoccupied with the fact her bloke had gone grey and passed out with his eyes wide open). Some people actively moved away to avoid getting involved.
WeaselFree MemberWith my mate when we saw a car jump the lights and smash into another.
Both drivers were fine and my mate gave his details to the guy who was driven into saying we witnessed the whole thing, neither driver was injured so we left after a few minutes. We saw 2 PCSO’s round the corner and told them there has been an accident, both drivers were fine but one car was still blocking the junction – wedged between some railings.
Within a week or so my mate is contacted by the Police and both insurance companies, the Police tell my mate he left the scene of an accident and was in the wrong, and the driver at fault is now claiming whiplash and a broken leg and saying the other car pulled out on him.
For the next few weeks he is pestered by the Police and both insurance companies and in the end says you have my statements, I’m not prepared to come to court or be involved any further – get on with it.
Out of all the people who witnessed the accident we were the only ones to bother stopping, and my mates main gripe was the attitude of the old bill that he left the scene of an accident and he’s somehow at fault.
DracFull MemberCan’t say I’ve seen that people do help, I mean for example 2 people stopped to help the last one in your post. Kids are often the best too been to calls where they’ve been worried about someone they’ve seen or found and called for us. There is those that carry on but only a few.
yossarianFree MemberModern society innit? People don’t need to rely on their own skills anymore, and don’t get the concept of looking after others.
I’m sure most people who walk/drive past someone in distress justify it on the basis that they’ve probably phoned 999 and help is on the way.
In a weird way perhaps the current and future recession might be a good thing for society. Might help us focus on what, or rather who is important.
I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve stepped into situations when others have just been stood around gawping or ignoring it. The most important bit is making sure you give everyone who is doing f:ck all a proper hard time about it. In public, so everyone can hear.
OllyFree Membersimple really, the majority of people in the world are Cnts.
reminds me, walked onto my street last saturday evening, so see an ambulance and 2 police cars pulled up, around a guy lying on the pavement. (I didnt offer to help, i figured they probably had it under control) but it looked like he had put his hand though a window or on a pint glass or something and wandered out the pub at the other end of the street.
the pavement, and road was COVERED in blood all the way up the street.
most inconvenient for me, i may have got claret on my brogues :wink:Hope the muppet was ok in the end.RichPennyFree MemberI think it would be helpful if basic first aid was taught in schools. Is it now? Wasn’t in my day. Now I’ve done a few courses I feel much more empowered to help in these kind of situations. I’m sure a lot of decent people don’t do more because they think they don’t know what to do.
I can’t understand why people don’t help out more – it’s certainly not altruistic in my case. I feel fantastic if I’ve carried a pram up some stairs or pushed a broken down car off the road. I’ve had that karma repaid too 🙂
CharlieMungusFree MemberI crashed a few months back and five people rushed over pretty quickly. One even spotted a police car round the corner and got them over. Two tried to call an ambulance at once
That’s only because they could smell that you were really a soft southerner and needed molly-coddling.
More seriously… Hope you are getting back to full health.
stavromullerFree Member@ luke, I was once at the scene of an accident were a deer had run in front of a girl diving a golf. After making sure she was ok, I went over to see if I could help the deer. As it died as I was holding it a roady came past and gave me a load of abuse for killing it. Must have been something to do with being a pig ignorant ars*wipe.
mrsconsequenceFree MemberThere’s loads of psychological studies into this behaviour under altruism and bystander behaviour.. There was an American girl raped and murdered in a courtyard of a block of flats a few decades ago, residents heard her scream for help but no one called 911 cos they all assumed someone else would and didn’t want to get involved…
It’s sad cos it is the not wanting to get involved, don’t want your day slowed down or following weeks to be hassled cos you witnessed something, someone could try suing you, etc. which modern society has created that affects this greatly. Fascinating topic from a psychology point of view.
In my old job, I read a lot of police paperwork regarding domestic incidents and each time there was an independent witness I would think “that’s good to know some people will still help” – but then they are summonsed to court and they dont want to give evidence against someone’s partner and usually a neighbour…
TandemJeremyFree MemberWhereabouts project?
Its not a scenario I recognise from Edinburgh – folk here do seem to help out when someone needs it.
atlaz – Member
It’s the same everywhere.
No its not.
2hottieFree MemberAs mentioned previously by others, I try and help a bit, basic and simple stuff really, things on high shelves, people with prams going up/down stairs, heavy stuff for folk who look like they’re struggling etc. Just the other day I helped an old lady who had dropped her keys in a car park, she couldn’t bend over so I picked them up for her. Takes just a few seconds to makes somebodies day. Not hard really. It comes back to the karma idea to me.
atlazFree MemberNo its not.
Clearly you’ve met everyone in Edinburgh and every single one of them would behave the right way. If you can, hand on heart, say that you are 100% sure that there will never be an incident there where someone will walk away rather than being involved then I’m surprised you’re that naive.
Someone will always help, but that’s not the same as everyone will always help.
hs125Free Member“The world is a dangerous place, not because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing.” – Einstein
TandemJeremyFree Memberatlaz – but project was saying no one helped. I have seen similar incidents in Edinburgh where people did help – and I have never seen someone in need ignored.
gonzyFree Memberpeople like that are just selfish…they take as much as they can wothout giving anything in return.
however i suppose it is karma when they themselves are in a similar situation and they find that no one comes to their aid.
my motto has always been to treat others as i would expect to be treated.
i suppose i’ll have to reassess my motto and start to ask those i help if they have helped others themselves…if they say no then i suppose i’ll do as they have in the past and just jog on and let them suffer.
a friend of mine calls it the boomerang effect – what goes around comes around.
those who have gone out of their way to help others…fear not as fortune smiles kindly upon you and you shall find help in times of need…those who don’t – well you’re well and truly fekked!!molgripsFree MemberI always try to help of course UNLESS people are already there helping – if the situation looks under control then I don’t get involved. Most people don’t want a crowd of busybodies.
I must say that whenever I’ve seen people in need of help there have always been people queueing up to help – too keen in some cases! And whenever I’ve needed it people have stopped to help me too. In the days before mobile phones my mate had a bad crash and needed hospital – we flagged down a car and the driver took him the 5 or so miles no bother.
atlazFree MemberTandemJeremy – Indeed. Someone will always help in most places but what’s always surprising to me is how many people go out of their way to avoid helping out.
coffeekingFree MemberI always try to help of course UNLESS people are already there helping – if the situation looks under control then I don’t get involved. Most people don’t want a crowd of busybodies.
I must say that whenever I’ve seen people in need of help there have always been people queueing up to help – too keen in some cases!
+1, never yet come across anyone in need of help that wasn’t swamped by helpers.
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