… for running amok in the office on a Tuesday afternoon? If you were going to go completely postal and start slaughtering colleagues and smashing up fax machines in a glorious last stand of pointless blood-spattered violence ending eventually with police snipers on live television.

I'm thinking something like this:

but of course am attracted to a retro number, like this maybe:

But part of me suffers nagging doubts that real amok-running needs an edged weapon:

What would you choose?

For the avoidance of any doubt, I have none of these options available, so will probably get on with my work, or perhaps just have a cup of tea… 😀

A big pointy stick. With all dog sh*t on the end.

Warning: this thread may be used as evidence against you.

Chainsaw for me

Something with a very high rpm rate and loads of ammo.

I'd use one of these

Bludgeoning your work colleagues to death with an ant-eater will reserve a little space in a backwater of posterity 🙂

Something with a very high rpm rate and loads of ammo.

Like this:

http://www.dillonaero.com/content/p/9/pid/2/catid/1/Lightweight_M134DT

The still bleeding stumpy end of the right leg of your first victim?

But part of me suffers nagging doubts that real amok-running needs an edged weapon:

is correct I think – somehow much more satisfying. Perhaps the "space axe" of the lensmen.

combination and sublimation of battle-axe, mace, harpoon, and lumberman's picaroon

Bombers? You would own them all!

Railgun?

its not rocket propelled or anything, its acclerated by electromagnets and its going so fast the bullet is being ripped to pieces!

I'm guessing, and whilst happy to be corrected, I'm wondering if the anteater might have a point of view about being used as a weapon…

Remember, it wont do to use a pygmy anteater, or tamandua.
GIANT ANTEATERS!- when you absolutely, positively have to kill every m*********er in the house…accept no substitute! 😀

given that all I can see from my seat is heads, it would have to be something that would decapitate like a 360 lazer beam
but they're probably not easy to come by
.
so given that everyone would just duck into their pods to avoid decapitation, it would have to be short-range grenades or mini-mortars

You office monkeys wouldnt know how use fire a machine gun! lol

howabout something more realistic … a sharpened pencil or parker fountain pen???

😉

scaramanga's solex ray gun… that should own em'

you'd have much more fun with these,

on the back of the toilet door i'd place the first one for the sick *****er that never cleans up after himself!

I'm guessing, and whilst happy to be corrected, I'm wondering if the anteater might have a point of view about being used as a weapon…

Maybe not a weapon per se, but they can certainly cause a mean ruckus:

Guns are simply too impersonal. I'd much rather get up close with something more stabby and slashy.

Having said that, a spikey ball on a chain has always been a personal favourite of mine.

I remember many years ago, there was an article on a news programme, about some police weapons amnesty, and they were showing off some of the delightful implements. One particularly nasty one, was a bicycle chain, connected to a toilet flush pull handle. Not that big a deal, I hear you say, until I tell you that some of the link pins had been pushed out and then reconnected, to accommodate safety razor blades. I remember thinking that only a cyclist could have dreamt that one up.

If you're going to do a Michael ryan, then as much disembowelling and bloodshed as possible, I reckon.

Sawn off slide action shotgun, Arnie-style.

I think i'd freak out too quickly if i used a blade.

I'm guessing, and whilst happy to be corrected, I'm wondering if the anteater might have a point of view about being used as a weapon…

I'd find a really angry one that was willing to go out in style.
Or maybe a frozen one from Iceland.

You office monkeys wouldnt know how use fire a machine gun! lol

Don't be so sure…

Bigdummy is a tad miffed to discover that all the choccy bourbons are gone.

minigun

finbar – Member

Arnie-style.

for arnie, has to be the the oozie 9

Probably the Jarvis JCIIIA dehider

The #1 skinning tool worldwide.

w Highest possible hide quality – skins perfectly; no cuts, marks or holes.

w High capacity, high performance tool, designed for long life and low maintenance.

w Super efficient motor design.

w Extra-thin head with stainless steel centre plate for exceptional handling and enduring strength.

w Lightweight – only 2.9 lbs (1.3 kg).

Although I think the SPC165G spinal cord remover is tempting with it's utilisation of the latest patented technology for grinding away material, including the spinal cord and the meninges (spinal cord skin).

Unless you can wait a few years for Metal Storm.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8DRmuljq9yw&feature=related

Stress relief required??

There was always something satisfying about using the pump action shotgun from Quake (the PC game) in the 90s – the way it went 'snick snick' to reload every time. I think I'd go for that, give them a sporting chance to get away while I reload…

Vinnyeh; you're not a very well little boy, are you? 😯

The above (unmanned robot tank) or the below.

I work from home and the office is 150 miles away. 😉

Although I think the SPC165G spinal cord remover is tempting with it's utilisation of the latest patented technology for grinding away material, including the spinal cord and the meninges (spinal cord skin).

At this point, the room fell silent, and all eyes turned to Vinnyeh, who calmly continued eating his tuna and mayo sandwich, as if nothing had happened….

LOL at talkemada.

vinneyh you scary scary man

A Pfeifer Zeliska .600 Nitro Express

On a note of utility…Those "pointy things on the ends of chains" type of weapons, they're going to get, you know, stuck…Aren't they..? I mean, at some point, you're going to have to stop, pull it out of something/one, possibly using a foot as leverage…Gives the have-a-go hero time to bludgeon you with a chair/plant pot…

What about one of these

vinneyh you scary scary man

Here we all are, happily discussing shooting, bludgeoning, stabbing, slashing and blowing people up, and along comes Vinnyeh! 😯 Proper disturbed!

Not right. Not right at all…

Probably the Jarvis JCIIIA dehider

We make similar blades to those, and other horrible knives!

I think I'd have more fun with one of these!

Believe it or not, its for cutting Lettuce! I'm sure it could slice through some pretty tough stuff.

😯 It's already sliced your left foot off!