put his stapler in a jelly

He may have Aspergers on the ASD spectrum, perhaps the benefit of the doubt may be in order, although his behaviour is unreasonable he may not be able to help it, just a thought.

Next time he starts to rant just stand and look at him calmly all thru the rant, when he runs out of steam just quietly say, "and if the roles were reversed is that how you would expect me to talk to you, I dont expect an apology this time, but I will also expect a more civil tone in the future,if you cannot accept this i will seek advice from HR regarding your unreasonable behaviour"

make sure you follow thru and make records(keeps a diary) of all incidents

settle it with a good old fashioned game of roshambo….