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what to do about **** at work?

43 posts & 37 voices | Started 1 year ago by thomthumb | Latest reply from MrCrushrider

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thomthumb - Member

I work as a research tech at a university, a guy who is supposed to be my equal (although a lot senior, and a lot more experience) seems to have a lot of social issues.

he gets wound up by the smallest most reasonable requests and shouts a lot. (the other day he threw a sandwhich and shouted at me becuase i asked if i could move his stuff which was covering every single bit of bench space so that a student could work!!)

basically he throws a hissy fit shouts a lot and then calms down quickly. i've decided today that i don't deserve it, don't need it and need to sort it.

any suggestions how to go about it.

Posted 1 year ago #
Hairychested - Member

Tell him to shut up and act like an adult. Be polite but firm. And don't bear grudges.

Posted 1 year ago #
clubber - Member

Try and work out a way you can talk to him in a non-confrontational way...

Failing that, talk to his manager.

Posted 1 year ago #
Kuco - Member

**** him one.

Posted 1 year ago #
headfirst - Member

Stand up to him in a polite and reasonable manner, which in turn will highlight his impolite and unreasonable manner. Let him know its on. If it persists talk to your boss.

Posted 1 year ago #
rs - Member

ask him if he thinks his reaction was directly proportional to the nature of your request or exponentially over the top

Posted 1 year ago #
clubber - Member

Try and talk to him at a time when you're not in the middle of a problem. Keep it calm and explain why you think his behaviour's unreasonable.

Or just shout back at him and either scare him into backing off or making him worse

Posted 1 year ago #
TheSwede - Member

Drop your pants and say "if you keep on treating me like an a*s hole I'm going to place this (point to erect penis) in yours" Random and slightly homosexual but it may just work. Let me know how you get on with that kiddo. Extra points for achieving a shiny helmet under duress.

Posted 1 year ago #
Kuco - Member

Posted 1 year ago #
hels - Member

Or if you favor a more passive/aggressive approach, leave loads of leaflets on his desk about Anger Management, Bullying in the Workplace, Help for the Recently Unemployed etc etc etc

Posted 1 year ago #
bullheart - Member

Whoa!

Posted 1 year ago #
PJM1974 - Member

While it's easy to get riled by the guy, try to remain focussed on resolving the problem. You want him to stop behaving unreasonably.

What's the HR policy?

Posted 1 year ago #
stratobiker - Member

@TheSwede
Lol.... I like your style!

class!

SB

Posted 1 year ago #
falkirk-mark - Member

What if he's up for it swede?

Posted 1 year ago #
TheSwede - Member

Then teach him a lesson that only one man can teach another.

Posted 1 year ago #
falkirk-mark - Member

Please don't elaborate

Posted 1 year ago #
iamsporticus - Member

Dude

What kind of a sandwich was it?

Posted 1 year ago #
martinxyz - Member

a pork sandwich.

Posted 1 year ago #
al_f - Member

Time for the giant spider outfit?

Posted 1 year ago #
thomthumb - Member

i think i'll try the talking approach first.

old fashioned lke that!!

cheers.

Posted 1 year ago #
scraprider - Member

get a large bin liner , put all his stuff in it , sling it out the window, telling him to shut the **** up dude.no wierd shit like swede says, simples.

Posted 1 year ago #
chewkw - Member

thomthumb - Member

any suggestions how to go about it.

Explain to him that he has two options:

1) Tell him you could report him for trying to bully you.

2) Ask him if he would like to have a bare knuckle fight ...

Choose option 2 but if he refuses tell him to behave like a good boy.

Posted 1 year ago #
saleem - Member

Either speak to HR, Tell him to F/off,kick the Sh1t out of him or just take the swede's approach and give him a sausage butt cheek sandwich......Infact what about telling him to f/off followed by a good kicking, butt raping and then let him talk to HR.

Posted 1 year ago #
grantway - Member

Il Laugh then chin him and ask nicely What did you say

Posted 1 year ago #
PeterPoddy - Member

AND/OR

Posted 1 year ago #
Raindog - Member

You beat me to it by 5 mins PeterPoddy.

Posted 1 year ago #
PeterPoddy - Member

I'm surprised it took so long!!!

Posted 1 year ago #
aka_Gilo - Member

Next time he behaves like a small child just look himn in the eye and say very firmly, though not agressively, "I an NOT prepared to be spoken to in that way". If he gets the message, great, if not escalate it through his manager and stick with it until the problem is resolved. Life is too short to put up with that kind of behaviour.

Posted 1 year ago #
zokes - Member

Hmmm, if he's anything like a technician I used to work with, good luck!

Usually direct management of technicians is through the academic they work for mostly, even if their official line manager is the senior technician. If the academic is productive enough to still have any technicians, chances are they'll be too busy to care, and will offer advice along the lines of 'just sort it out between you'. Escalating it beyond the academic up the line usually causes problems between you and them, and as ultimately it's their grant money that's keeping you in a job, that's not a good thing.

On the plus side, if he's getting worse, he may go off with stress soon. You won't have the arguments, but you will have twice the work...

Posted 1 year ago #
beamers - Member

Next time he kicks off hit him with the line "MTFU Wet Pants"

I find that diffuses most situations where people are getting excited about the most trivial of issues.

Posted 1 year ago #
yunki - Member

he might just need a cuddle?

Posted 1 year ago #
missingfrontallobe - Member

Does your employer have a clear bullying & harrassment policy? Sounds to me like your colleague sails close to bullying you.

I had a problem last year with a colleague when I returned from a period of sick leave, whereby she "knew" better than my surgical team & the occy health team who had planned my return that I "needed" neuro-psychological review. Bollox, she was completely unhelpful, hindered my return, and eventually I complained to line manager, and just as things settled down we went to see the acting director of nursing services. I know this sounds minor in comparison to your problem, but I'd had major brain surgery and just needed to get back into my role without some ****t trying to fück it up for me. My management have said any further problems & the B&H policy will be implemented.

Posted 1 year ago #
chakaping - Member

Either...

a) Write everything down: dates, times, words used, witnesses etc and take it to HR (or ideally your union but I bet you're not in one).

b) Confront him about his unreasonableness the next time he goes off on one. Ask him if he has a personal problem with you or with his job, and say you're not prepared to tolerate it.

The latter is more likely to succeed IME of dealing with prickly colleagues. He'll probably feel like a bit of a dick and be nice as pie afterwards.

Posted 1 year ago #
Kit - Member

basically he throws a hissy fit shouts a lot and then calms down quickly. i've decided today that i don't deserve it, don't need it and need to sort it.

Are your conclusions published in a journal? Have they been peer-reviewed? I refuse to accept any of your anecdotal 'evidence' without clear statement of data gathering, analysis and copies of all calibrations of your social boundary assessing equipment.

Posted 1 year ago #
Kit - Member

P.S. Good luck getting it sorted!

Posted 1 year ago #
sputnik - Member

Golf shoes and/orange bombers? What next?

Posted 1 year ago #
brooess - Member

1. As above, write a diary - so you have evidence as and when you decide to escalate it
2. Speak to him directly, it is possible he doesn't quite get why his behaviour is inappropriate
3. Buy a book on how to deal with bullying behaviour, which this clearly is. It'll help you understand why it's happening and what you can do to prevent it.
4. Remember that people who act like that are usually a) insecure b) jealous of you in some way.

Posted 1 year ago #
BenjiM - Member

Have a look on the Acas website about mediation in the case of a dispute or give them a call 08457 47 47 47

Acas

Posted 1 year ago #
SaxonRider - Member

Try to do whatever you decide in the presence of a witness. It will save a lot of grief later when it comes down to his word against yours. ESPECIALLY if he is as senior to you as you say.

Posted 1 year ago #
higgo - Member

F*** with his head. Push him over the edge (being careful not to leave evidence).

Posted 1 year ago #