Singletrack Mountain Bike Magazine

• Overview
• Bike Forum
• Chat Forum
• For Sale
• Wanted
• Forum Help
• Classified Rules

Chat Forum

1. emma82 - Member

   Why are they such a bloody nightmare

   What started out as a small registry office (have maintained that thus far) is turning into a nightmare trying to keep it small. We don't particularly want anything from our day other than to be married and have a marriage. In the space of 24hrs I've had to:
   1-give invitations to immediate family because they want a pretty invitation. WTF??
   2-reaffirm my reason for not wanting 100 people staring at me when I take my nuptials
   3-defend our reasons for having registry office and not a hotel
   4-defend our not having wedding cars/horse drawn carriage
   5-defend a very close friend who is now able to attend when originally we thought they couldn't but another friend who doesn't like them has made it clear she will probably be looking for a fight.
   6-try to explain the difference between 'wedding' hair and wanting a nice natural style and being frowned at for being willing to spend £100 to get what I want
   7-justify my not being in the slightest bit bothered by people bring their children in the evening.
   8-I could go on
   I'm so disappointed at this moment in time,

   Posted 11 months ago #
2. don simon - Member

   Because women are involved.
   .
   .
   .
   .
   .
   .
   .
   .
   .
   .
   .
   .
   .
   .
   .
   .
   .
   .
   .
   .
   .
   .
   .
   .
   .
   .
   .
   .
   .
   .
   .
   .
   .
   .
   .
   It'll be alright on the night, chill a bit.

   Posted 11 months ago #
3. deadlydarcy - Member

   8-I could go on

   No, no...please do.

   Posted 11 months ago #
4. Rubber_Buccaneer - Member

   8-I could go on
   

   You probably will, I wouldn't marry you

   Posted 11 months ago #
5. emma82 - Member

   Stupid phone, can't finish my moan

   I was going to say I need some reassurance that others survived this because at the moment I feel like sodding off and doing it on our own. As much as I love my friends and family-why this expectation that if the cupcake colour doesn't match the bouquet our marriage is doomed? Or if I don't have staged photos we'll cry ourselves to sleep fir the rest of our lives?

   Posted 11 months ago #
6. emma82 - Member

   thanx. You just made me cry

   Posted 11 months ago #
7. wrightyson - Member

   It is your day!! **** em I say. Presuming you've still got parents alive tho it's a very special thing watching your daughter get married, so perhaps just do a bit for them.
   [disclaimer]
   1 I presume you're a daughter with a name like emma
   2 I presume you like you're parents
   3 A wedding fight can sometimes be a highlight of the day
   4 Hey what do I know, I'm a man and our small wedding went global

   Posted 11 months ago #
8. neilnevill - Member

   Aaaawwwww now come here! there there... it'll be fine. Weddngs are one of the most stressful things people do but it's all self biult and doesn't really matter, ony the bride and groom matter and sod everything else!

   You WILL be fine and you WILL have a lovely day. Now wipe those tears away.

   Posted 11 months ago #
9. deadlydarcy - Member

   emma, it sounds like one of those days when it's hard to get things into perspective. Remember, it's YOUR day...but if you're accepting cash from your parents to finance the big day, you might have to compromise on the odd things here and there. Despite it being your day, it's also a big day, especially for the bride's folks.

   I'm a bit shocked that a friend has told you that she'll be looking for a fight on YOUR wedding day - I know what I'd be teling her to do.

   And to counter what R-B said above, I think you always sound like a game lass - you get a fair amount of stick on here from guys that probably haven't been near a real woman since they were being nursed and you always take it in good stead - and give it back just as well.

   I'm sure you'd be a great girl to marry and mr emma82 is getting a cracker of a wife. I'd marry you myself, but there are a few complications (as well as Effin getting jealous).

   Tomorrow (or later after a few drinks), it won't seem so bad. Most couples who are involving their families go through some kind of angst.

   Keep smiling and then just do it your way

   Posted 11 months ago #
10. The Southern Yeti - Member

    After trying on 7 dresses and 15 hats today I'm actually quite pleased that you haven't invited me (yet?).

    Posted 11 months ago #
11. thegreatape - Member

    I've just asked my wife and apparently there were similar sorts of dramas when our wedding was being arranged, so it's probably not unusual.

    Posted 11 months ago #
12. Rubber_Buccaneer - Member

    Now I'm feeling guilty

    I'm not married yet, just engaged for now, so have never been through this myself. I have seen others going through it though and balancing all the demands of various parties is a nightmare. What you and your fiance want is what's important, others can be accomodated where it fits and anyone giving you a hard time about your choices can take a running jump.

    Don't let the stress cause friction between you and your partner. Once the day arrives it will be great and you will forget all the hassle in the build up.

    Posted 11 months ago #
13. don simon - Member

    As above and give yourself a bit of time, things will look a bit different tomorrow.
    Why not try asking folks what they would suggest, agree, then stick to your own plans and f*** them!
    FWIW, I think that wedding cars and or horse and carriage, proper wedding hair and staged photos would add a special something.

    Posted 11 months ago #
14. sparkingchains - Member

    Ah, all that effort and expense will be worth it for that one day... or will it?! Best wedding I've been to was in a registry office where people wore what they liked and after guests bought along some food they'd made/bought and we all all had a party in their garden with a friends band. Far cheaper and personal than the usual hotel catering and disco that people resign themselves to and pay a fortune for.

    Posted 11 months ago #
15. igm - Member

    Your day.

    Your rules.

    Justify nothing beyond "because that's the way I want to do it".

    Accept that some people will get annoyed by you wanting to do it your way.

    Posted 11 months ago #
16. FoxyChick - Member

    Emma...do exactly what you want to do. Me and MrFC loved our wedding day because it was just what WE wanted.
    I pissed off his side of the family by choosing my family/friends as bridesmaids.
    I pissed off some of the women I work with because I chose not to have a hen-do.
    I did my own hair and make-up because I wanted to look like me.
    I chose a very simple cake because I don't see the point of huge, fancy ones.
    We didn't have a night-do because we didn't want our wedding to turn into a drunken party.
    We had a great day.
    We kept most things to ourselves and didn't discuss them with the families.
    A "close" friend of mine asked if her sister could accompany her to our wedding. I decided "no" as I couldn't stand her. The "close" friend took offence. We still had a great day and I haven't lost out by my friend's offence.
    It is your day...one you will remember for the rest of your lives.
    GET IT RIGHT!!
    FCxx

    Posted 11 months ago #
17. Bunnyhop - Member

    Gosh that friend of yours, doesn't sound a nice sort.

    I too would be in tears, normal events imo (all of the above).

    I also got threatened by people " if so and so isn't coming then nor and I".

    The outfitters went bust a couple of weeks before our wedding, so hubby to be (can't spell fiance) and his best man were left without the suits we had paid a deposit for, ( I got flowers and chocs as an apology).

    On paying the hotel bill for party room and our suite, my credit card just said no funds, all in front of the manager the day before. I drove to the bank in question, where they'd forgotten to transfer the funds that we'd put into the wedding a/c months before.

    Our big day went really well though, as will yours.

    Good luck and being married is ACE

    Posted 11 months ago #
18. emma82 - Member

    Thanks guys. Well, I had a mini melt down and a very unreasonable sob in the bath to hubby2b and feel a bit calmer. Still feeling very sensitive but I'm sure it will be better tomorrow. Think I just need to be firm! My biggest worry is the comment my friend made because now I'm worried that there will just be an atmosphere on the hen and big day but that's their argument and if they want to fight it that's their battle not mine. Just a bit hurt at the way it came out. Will feel better tomorrow I'm sure. Fully intend to make it our day and no-one else's, we are paying for it all so hav free reign to do what we like although mum and I are close so most things can be said and forgiven

    Posted 11 months ago #
19. wrightyson - Member

    And most of all don't forget, your bum doesn't look big!!!

    Posted 11 months ago #
20. MoreCashThanDash - Member

    I found saying to MrsMCTD "You arrange it and I'll turn up" made the whole thing quite stress free*

    That and the fact that she is a right bolshy woman who laid down the law to everyone what we wanted and expected from OUR day and if they didn't like it they didn't have to come.

    We ended up with 35 guests watching us get married in a nice hotel, then sitting round one big round table for a meal - no kids, no fights, various friends and family provided wedding cars, flowers, cakes and icing as presents, was great!

    And we celebrated our ninth annivesary last Tuesday.....

    *when I say stress free, when the England world cup 2002 fixtures were announced, it got a bit hairy - luckily we didn't need extra time to beat the Argies!

    Posted 11 months ago #
21. flip - Member

    Me and my wife are in our 40s, have both been married before.

    So.

    We ran off to Gretna Green on our own, to avoid the problems you have. It was OUR day we did it how we wanted.

    Everyone understood. It was perfect. For us.

    Posted 11 months ago #
22. RichPenny - Member

    Ours went from being only close family and no budget to about 40 over the space of a few weekends. We didn't even know the cost of the reception until after we'd eaten Ours was pretty freestyle and that made it much more relaxing for us. Sounds like you're working along the same lines and avoiding the bullshit, just keep at it and ignore everyone else. Maybe get a mutual friend to have a word with the bickering mates though. Or wee in their wedding shoes on the day for a talking point...

    I chose a very simple cake because I don't see the point of huge, fancy ones.

    Ignore this tho, cake is pretty much the central reason for marriage, we had 3

    Posted 11 months ago #
23. john_drummer - Member

    if anyone says "if so & so isn't coming then neither am I" then say "Fine, see you later"

    unless of course it's the bride / groom or maybe parents-of

    It's your day, you are in charge. Do it your way or not at all

    and most of all, enjoy yourselves

    Posted 11 months ago #
24. djaustin - Member

    Relax. The day before ours, the bridesmaids shoes hadn't arrived. My suggestion of black plimsolls and photos cut off at the knees was not met with cheery acceptance by the future mother in law.

    Small, intimate, and don't worry, people will behave...

    Posted 11 months ago #
25. marsdenman - Member

    emma, as a (twice married) bloke, who attends more weddings than the average person each year (pro-photog), I'm sorry to say that folk above are right - your current position is 'situation normal' - had it for my weddings, hear it all the time from my brides to be...
    Whatever happens, try to keep calm and never, ever, forget - it's your day - work with your plan and if folk don't like that plan then, sod 'em!
    Prime example - great mate and his fiance 'ran away' to St Lucia to marry - they did not want the hassle of a big UK wedding, caused all sorts of turmoil - especially in his family - mum cannot fly due to inner ear problems - and they were living with her at the time!!. I come to marry, by now they have 2 kids. We have a 'no kids' wedding - he and the mrs throw a wobble as they only come 'as a family unit' . End result = 2 spare places at the wedding....
    All the best for your big day - it will be all you both want it to be
    Chris

    Posted 11 months ago #
26. Elfinsafety - Member

    -defend a very close friend who is now able to attend when originally we thought they couldn't but another friend who doesn't like them has made it clear she will probably be looking for a fight.

    It's a wedding! Woon't be a proper wedding without a good fight!

    Registry office- pub- kebab.

    Perfect.

    I'm like a male version of J-Lo, me...

    

    Posted 11 months ago #
27. emma82 - Member

    Cheers chaps, feeling much better today despite the rain:)

    Posted 11 months ago #
28. don simon - Member

    

    Posted 11 months ago #

RSS feed for this topic

Reply

You must log in to post.