A bit OT, but its my parents wedding anniversary at the end of this month, however my father passed away last August. What is the general ettiquette in this situation, is it still celebrated or played down.

Don’t want to make a mess of it with my mother, also don’t want to ask her in case i open up old wounds etc, so i’m asking on here.

It’s your mother. Talk to her.

Edit: I didn’t mean to be flippant. It’s my sisters birthday today. She would have been 44, if she was still with us. So I’ve had one of the two difficult days I have with my mother every year, today. Just speak to her, you’ll know.

geoffj +1

No matter how big / fat / ugly / screwed up / small / slim / handsome / successful you are, you will *always* be her little boy. Go talk to her.

wot he said my Gran did not want to remember it due to it upsetting her ditto the death date very personal check with her/siblings if any.

+1
it still the anniversary and could be a day to remember and celebrate (in the mark the day sense – not the party hard sense)- but have that conversation – it the only way you’ll know

You should be there for her on this anniversary.

Perhaps you could go for a pub meal to break the usual routine, but big celebrations are probably off the agenda now.

You have to judge the situation as it develops.

Sometime’s, sitting there with a cup of tea and chatting is all that is needed.

I’m sorry about your loss. It’s not easy and everything will be different from now on.

Give your mum a hug!

Good luck!

Thanks for the views everyone , Spongebob that was what i had pretty much decided to do invite mum round for a nice meal and spend some time away from her home with us and play it by ear as it were.