A long time ago I was out riding on my own, and as I came off the road and into the woods there was a gate with space to ride round the side. As I went round the gate I spot a large dog egg directly in my path, which I skilfully managed to avoid with my front wheel….
(At this point I should mention it was a hard, dusty surface. Think ‘a dusting of flour to stop the pastry stiking as you roll it’)
…… anyhow, my back wheel must have hit said large turd dead centre and lifted it wholesale off the dusty floor and ejected it just past top dead centre, i.e. towards my head.
I saw, felt, and smelled this turd fly within an inch of my left ear as it looped gracefully over my shoulder, and watched in slow motion as it just missed my hand and landed next to my front wheel.
That was VERY close, was that.