I'm sure Fred/Talk/etc has another half dozen user names already registered and waiting via dormant Hotmail accounts – someone with his sort of "habit" wouldn't survive without a backup plan – so there will be a user name or two stashed behind the toilet cistern. Do you think we can bait him out . . . .

I've heard he knows sod all about football and his mum makes "Call me Dave" sandwiches every morning for work . . .