Icy roads
People who stop at the top of escalators
people who blame everyone else for their own failings

People who stop at the top of escalators

At the gate at an airport, people were filing down corridor, down an escalator, and towards the door for the bus to the plane. It wasn’t there yet, so they queued – back from the door and to the bottom of the escalator… I had to physically move a couple of people to prevent a huge pileup.

Honestly 🙄

so they queued

Any queue in a public place should be a right angles to the ‘flow’ of pedestrians. #itsthelaw

People when asked a reasonable question who answer, “so” then the answer, is this a new thing?

Is it buying time?

People who post something deliberately contentious to wind people up and end it with “just sayin'”

People who get all arsey over something you’re doing on your own property, when it has no impact on them whatsoever.

Crap spelling and the use of completely the wrong words, like draws when they mean drawers, aloud when they mean allowed etc.

Adverts that have stuff for sale, but expect you to guess how much they deem a “reasonable offer” and then get arsey when you offer them less than they are willing to accept.

People who don’t have an indoor voice and feel the need to conduct all communications at the loudest possible volume. People at the other end of the spectrum that whisper rather than talk. How hard is it to just talk at a reasonable volume?

Internet keyboard warriors.

You know the type, the type without a “P” in front of thier name, the type that don’t support STW.

Stoner:

Dirt embedded deep in leeks from the garden
When coffee grounds escape around the edge of the cafetiere press

This chap has it right.

I thought it was just me!

People out in public (be it drivers, pedestrians, shoppers, cyclists whatever) who are oblivious to their surroundings and/or cannot be bothered to adjust their actions to aid in the general flow of things. For example:
walking 4 abreast down a pavement and not moving for people walking in the opposite direction[/*]
Shoppers placing their trolley beside them in front of the fridge while reading the fine print on every pack of sandwiches stopping everyone else grabbing their BLT and getting out of there as fast as possible[/*]
Drivers blocking side roads so traffic cannot turn in or out until the traffic lights half a mile down the main road change[/*]

My list is endless and if the UK had US style gun laws I’d probably be incarcerated by now…

and also forums where the list tags don’t work. and people who start sentences with and

People need to be called out on using “so” to begin a response with. It’s corporate bawshit talk.
Parking metres in public parks. I mean I thought the government were supposed to be encouraging us to be fitter and more active.
Parking metres that require your car reg. no.

+1 for Fog lights when not foggy – they’re not called rain lights! That’s what the other lights on your car are for.

People in the office who have to have an opinion on everything and always butt in on your conversations with their own opinion/experience/general topperness.

People who pull out of a T-junction in front of you when there’s not enough space, making you slow down – you’d fail your test for that.
Double hatred when there’s no cars for miles behind you but the couldn’t be bothered to wait another 5 seconds.
Triple hatred then ensues when they turn off at the next juntion 200m down the road, causing you to slow down again. You knew you were going to go that way, it’s not a surprise! Stop being so **** inconsiderate!

Drivers who pull onto pedestrian crossings when in traffic jams. Just wait behind the white line you utter tools
You can tell when it’s a misjudgement and they get cut off, fair enough and the embarrased face is pretty obvious. It’s the ones who just pull onto it anyway when there’s no room to move off the other side 👿

Crap spelling and the use of completely the wrong words, like draws when they mean drawers, aloud when they mean allowed etc.

They’re not wrong, they’re the alt-write.

They’re not wrong, they’re the alt-write.

Bravo.

TalkTalk 👿

Email on 30th Oct;
“If you don’t want to take a Fixed Low Price Plan and would like to change or cancel anything without charge or penalty,
call us on 0345 172 0046 within 30 days of receiving this email.”

So I did that on monday and got an email today;
“Since you’re leaving us before the end of your contract’s minimum term, there will be some extra charges you’ll need
to pay. SimplyBroadband £91.22″

Drivers who absolutely must overtake me on my bike even though I’m rolling up to the queue at the traffic lights.

People who have no awareness outside of their own bubble when out in public: Not walking in a straight line, stopping at the entrance to a shop, having a full on conversation whilst blocking the thoroughfare, not having a method on payment ready at the till…

^^^ oh yes, that. Definitely that!

People who set out to cause offence then say ‘No Offence’ at the end of what they were saying in the hope that this will make it all better. No it doesn’t you halfwit. Either cause offence and take the consequence or keep your opinion to yourself.

Children that walk slowly and erratically in busy areas. They will get rub over. Adults that do the same.

Food that doesn’t look like the picture of the food. How is this not misrepresentation?

People that sue for stuff because they can even though they did something stupid.

People that do stupid things because they are legally allowed to and then moan about it.

People that moan about stuff – suck it up buttercup.

Bad food. Work canteen comes to mind at lunch time.

Stupid high excesses on hire cars.

Anyone that asks how much that was when pointing at my bike when they have a really good idea it was very expensive.

People that ask the same question repeatedly and respond like it is the first time you told them.

Being bored at work (I am right now as you can tell from the length of this list).

OK I’m bored now.

Oh and most of the stuff already mentioned too.

Literally…

South West Trains. Driving at 3 miles an hour because there is a leaf on the line. Blaming the delay on a member of staff not turning up for work, not making more space on the train for bikes when it is know the line if busy with them.

Alan bloody Partridge

People who misuse who, which and that, as in ‘People that’.

People who what misuse who, which and that, as in ‘People that’.

ftfy

Should of…

tiny pieces of egg shell on my soldiers.

People who have no awareness outside of their own bubble when out in public

Students^^

Oh,and ricecake eating open water swimmers.
Have you seen the mess they leave.

People in front who take several years to turn off the road onto another road or a drive.

I do that if someone is tailgating.

People who drive too close to the car in front. This is basically everybody.

Oh,and ricecake eating open water swimmers.

Yeah! They’re just weird.

Sack the lot of ’em I say.

Less than optimal temperature steak bakes.

If we can put people on the moon surely we can keep a pasty the correct temperature.

Paddy o’connell.
I thought jeremy vine was bad but he takes it to another level.
He’s got the personality of a tree frog.

Kevin the builder’s planning skills;

Monday 10:30am

‘Kev, I’m in Travis Perkins, you need the stuff for the electric’s this week?, I can sort it now.’

‘No mate.’

‘Kev, you sure? Remember the door incident at the Stanley Road flats? I fly to Norway this afternoon, and I’m not back till next Monday.’

‘No mate, we aren’t needing them yet, and **** off about those ****ing flats.’

‘Kev, is there anything else you are going to need to keep things rolling till I’m back? After today, I can’t sort anything till next week.’

‘No mate.’

Tuesday 11am

‘It’s Kev, I need the stuff for the electric’s today.’

I can generally knock out 600 words or more about several dozen things that irritate me, but I’m in a contented mood today so I’ll stick with one.

Seasick Steve.

You utter, utter fraud you.

I first saw him years ago, I think he was on Jonathan Ross, very different to my usual taste, but I liked it. His character and look just adds to the effect, he’s a guy who doesn’t care for fashion or trends, here’s a man who is comfortable in his own skin. He’s a guy who does it for the love of music.

If it had stopped there I would have been okay with it, but for a while he was on everything, media over-load, and they all want to know who he is, where he’s from and his influences.

From the BBC:

“he reveals he was born in 1941 and had spent periods of his life living as a hobo in the American Deep South and elsewhere, hopping freight trains and finding work as a farm labourer, at carnivals, as a cowboy and as a migrant worker. During his life, he had also dipped in and out of the music industry, as a session musician and producer. In October 2016, he plays Wembley, arriving at the arena in a tractor.”

Now, if that doesn’t make for a perfect ‘anti-industry’ truly authentic antidote to the X Factor and the like I don’t know what does.

I even signed up to his mailing list, it read like the label on a bottle of Bourbon, signed off by one of his ‘dear old friends’ called Frog or something.

But it’s all lies, just another manufactured act, this time to sucker in older, supposedly less naïve consumers. He couldn’t even be honest about his age, although at least he has the decency to lie the ‘other way’ to most and claim to be older than he is as he was born in ’51.

No it seems that Steven Leach, not even Steve Wold (his stated ‘real’ name) let alone ‘Seasick Steve’ has been courting the Music Industry most of his life and spent the 60’s, 70’s and 80’s trying to make is break playing whatever was popular at the time, before spending a few years as a producer and finally inventing Old Seasick himself.

Here’s Steven, Steve, Seasick during his 70’s disco phase.

I’d like to burn his CDs and tear down his posters like the teary eyed girls in the 80’s did when the found out Milli Vanilli didn’t sing live, or write their stuff, or in fact sign it at all, but I’m 38 and this is 2016 so I did the next best thing, deleted the 2 songs of his I occasionally listened to from my Apple Music playlist – it could cost him upwards of $0.00005 over the next 12 months, yeah, I did it an what?

People who trundle down the motorway access slip road at 40mph to merge with traffic which is generally travelling at least 20mph faster.

Drivers behind who’ll overtake you when you’ve slowed down and moved over because you’ve seen the blue flashing lights immediately behind them. They obliviously haven’t. Mirror, signal, manouvre was the mantra.

They need a gadget installed in their vehicle such that, when blue flashing lights have been visible in their mirrors for ten seconds and they’ve done nowt, a powerful electric shock is delivered through the driver’s seat.

Why is it, when the battery is nearly flat, that my phone decides to flash the notification LED thus using more battery?

People that moan about stuff – suck it up buttercup.

I don’t quite know how to tell you this, but that’s what you’re doing on this thread. It’s kind of why it was started 🙂

Yes drivers who 1st reaction is to brake hard when a emergency vehicle approaches from behind them causing us to stop.

Grumble grumble