so a serious question which will no doubt get me some real micky taking.
split with my wife a while back and am now offically back on the market/ive met someone and she appears to be mad about me.thats not really the point of this question, but having thought i had the "real thing" in the past it is now quite clear it wasnt.
so how do you know when yourve met the "right one"? people say "you just know" my ex put a lot of weight on "the spark" and that if you had any doubts about someone then there just not the right one.
is this to simplistic? im sure you could always question things with anyone you meet.i dont want to leave someone and move on for the wrong reasons and then regret it or jump into something if in time i will realise its just not what i wanted.
in short..how do you ever know??
p.s. Apologies for dragging the forum down to the level of "bella" or "chat" magazine!
Chat Forum
tell me about.....Luuuuurve..!
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Posted 1 year ago #
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You don't, and IME/O, spending your life looking for "it" leads to misery (mostly).
Posted 1 year ago # -
A good benchmark for me is asking yourself how you'd feel if that person wasn't in your life, or what if soemthing happened to them?
Posted 1 year ago # -
woody, that was always my opinion, and when the ex went on about it it confused me. i really think she will spend years "looking" and even when settled, will still question it.thats what she's like.
and also thats not what i want to do.spend ten-twenty years only to realise there is no real way of knowing and i could have spent that time enjoying being with someone.
spose even if they feel right to me they could up and leave at any time
(as thats what happened to me)Posted 1 year ago # -
No one knows the secret /answer
Posted 1 year ago # -
Sod looking for someone else. If I split with the wife (unlikely) I'd happily remain single for ever more. I wouldn't even bother with relationships or even flings, I like my own company best.
Posted 1 year ago # -
Time was, if my girlfriend of the time was away, I'd think "cool, I can get in some quality Playstation time and then go out with my mates for the evening."
Now, when the OH is away, I think "crap, can't wait for her to be back." (Then sit on the Xbox for a couple of hours and then go out for a beer with a mate.)
That's the difference, I think. For me, anyway.
Posted 1 year ago # -
Time was, if my girlfriend of the time was away, I'd think "cool, I can get in some quality Playstation time and then go out with my mates for the evening."
I don't think there is antything wrong with looking forward to a bit of 'me' time. It's happening to me on Friday, and I'm planning a bit of a Playstation binge and a ride out on Saturday morning. Wouldn't want it to go on for any longer than then. I don't miss my single days.
Posted 1 year ago # -
Someone started a really good thread about love a little while back...
Think Cougar makes a good point though. I've never been in a realtionship were I've not thought....
"cool, I can get in some quality
Playstationxbox time and then go out with my mates for the evening."But I know plenty of people that think like he does now. That's what you should aspire to for the long term, not just in the passionate lustful phase you're in at the moment.
Posted 1 year ago # -
Can you imagine being with her when she's old, grey and you're both wrinkly?
If not, then time to move on....
Posted 1 year ago # -
i always look forward to mrsconsequence visiting friends or her mum as i get a few hours to myself, but when i'm actually sitting there without her, no matter how engrossed i am in something i always have an overhanging sense of "wish becca was here". she's the person i want to share all my experiences (good and bad) with, no matter how boring a task, its better with her
Posted 1 year ago # -
Can you imagine her being a mother to your children?
Posted 1 year ago # -
Some people just need a woman/man in their life.
Some don't.
I just need a bike
actually more than onein my life.
Posted 1 year ago # -
Some people just need a woman/man in their life.
Some don't.
I just need a bike
actually more than onein my life. Posted 1 year ago # -
Some people just need a woman/man in their life.
Some don't.
I just need a bike
actually more than onein my life. Posted 1 year ago # -
Just go with the flow not knowing and expecting for her to be the one.
If you're content with each other, and the spark between you remains without you both having to force it. Enjoy it and feel lucky to have found each other.
If along the journey of life together, you have doubts to whether you wish to spend a life time with her, it's best to get out whilst you easily can.
There's no true way IMHO of telling if they are the right one straight away. Yes there's such a thing as love at first sight, but love doesn't always last forever.
The trick is to let it run it's course and have the power to jump ship at the first sign of high seas.
Perhaps i'm just bitter though from a life time wasted on not the right ones. Or not keeping the right ones when i had them.
Sharki (confused)
Posted 1 year ago # -
My rule of thumb was, can I imagine myself married to them? I may have had a great time with them but that was how I riddled the chaff out. Always worked, no regrets. Forgot to apply rule to Spouse tho'
Posted 1 year ago # -
+1 phil not that i’m with becca but kell ha ha
Posted 1 year ago # -
Ok CG we get the message
Posted 1 year ago # -
There is no such thing as the 'one'.....
Only the right 'one' for the right moment....
Posted 1 year ago # -
I find that I really look forward to some time for just me as other than when I am driving I don't get any time alone.
Then when she is gone, the slightest creak of the gate outside has me glancing over in anticipation of her return.
Time was, if my girlfriend of the time was away, I'd think "cool, I can get in some quality Playstation time and then go out with my mates for the evening."
Now, when the OH is away, I think "crap, can't wait for her to be back." (Then sit on the Xbox for a couple of hours and then go out for a beer with a mate.)
That's the difference, I think. For me, anyway.
Maybe you just prefer playstation to xbox?
Posted 1 year ago # -
thing is sharki from what i was told (by the ex) the "spark" is there from the moment you meet, if, they are right.if you dont feel it then they arent right. i feel you can spend time with someone and as time progress's you get more deeply into each other and the bond grows stronger (or not if you arnt right)
thing is ,maybe its cos im too selective, but theres been very few women i havent felt strongly for at all after knowing them for a very short time.
sigh..confused.Posted 1 year ago # -
Pass
Posted 1 year ago # -
Maybe you just prefer playstation to xbox?
I nearly wrote 'conclusion, buy an xbox' back there.
Don't get me wrong, "me" time is good and healthy (and I'm looking forward to spending all night on Red Dead Redemption tonight, possé anyone?). Point was more the attitude shift, 'absence makes the heart grow fonder' or something twee like that.
Posted 1 year ago # -
odannyboy, if I were you I would get in some more serious 'me' time before leaping into another relationship, it only seems like yesterday that you were going through the ringer and it pays to remind yourself who you are and what you need without the influence of another person to consider.
Posted 1 year ago # -
Can you imagine being with her when she's old, grey and you're both wrinkly
we already are - thanks for thatPosted 1 year ago # -
Relationships are proof that optimism triumphs over experience every single time.
Why worry if it's love or not, if it's fun and makes you both happy then spend some time together if that works you'll spend more time together and if it's love you'll never part.
Posted 1 year ago # -
Jura
What was the question?
Posted 1 year ago # -
I like my own company best.
I'm terrible company for myself. The bed's too big without my wife, the house all echoey. I don't bother cooking for myself, and frankly, I'm a miserable bugger. Even more so than normal, that is.
So although there are times when I find her frustrating, annoying, a ball of neuroses and generally really hard work, she's got something about her that I need, even if some times I don't want it. At one point we split up for a while, and I realised after a very short while that despite some quite significant negatives, life's just nowhere near as good without my wife.
Posted 1 year ago # -
What Torminalis said - being able to make yourself happy helps you choose a partner better.
Posted 1 year ago # -
Without sounding like Andy Gray.....
If you feel you want to cuddle and stay in bed after you have sent the boys into 'wherever'..... that is the litmus test for me!
Posted 1 year ago # -
torminalis that is good logical advice.
im suprised how many people have not been on here harping on about how "our eyes met...and we have never been apart since...etc etc"
just to make us all feel sick and in meaningless relationships.
spose most of us are blokes...maybe mums net would help me more!!Posted 1 year ago # -
i dont get the andy gray quote??
Posted 1 year ago # -
F*** em n dump em.
Posted 1 year ago # -
what does her mother look like?
Posted 1 year ago #
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