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Stuff your teacher lied about.

76 posts & 60 voices | Started 9 months ago by catflees | Latest reply from pomona

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catflees - Member

Having a conversation last night about 'stuff your teacher lied about' I don't know how we got onto this topic but it was quite funny. My teacher when I was 8 on teaching us about space 'most of space is water, distant planets just float about' same teacher 'before colour was invented everything was just grey, people couldn't see properly because everything was grey and looked the same'. My friends teacher: 'under every house are old tyres to stop lightning strikes burning houses down' another friends teacher 'the sea is a rectangle Australia is on the opposite side to England'...

Anyone got any more?

Posted 9 months ago #
GlitterGary - Member

Working hard pays.

Posted 9 months ago #
santacoops - Member

After school club.

Posted 9 months ago #
thepurist - Member

If you keep doing that you'll go blind.

Posted 9 months ago #
totalshell - Member

'wiggy' birkett said he didnt wear a wig..

Posted 9 months ago #
Cougar - Member

How wings work.

Posted 9 months ago #
b r - Member

Columbus discovered America.

Posted 9 months ago #
fourbanger - Member

"God" created all the plants and creatures.... What a mong she was (RIP), even at seven I knew that was a improbable concept.

Posted 9 months ago #
guitarmanjon - Member

The earth was created in 7 days...

Posted 9 months ago #
pjt201 - Member

that a plane on a conveyor belt wouldn't take off.

Posted 9 months ago #
jamiep - Member

physics and chemistry

Posted 9 months ago #
ernie_lynch - Member

The Queen guarantees that we can never have a communist government. Said in all seriousness by my form teacher in secondary school.

Posted 9 months ago #
jonba - Member

I agree, a significant amount of chemistry below A-level was just wrong (although they said so at the time but were obliged to teach us it incorrectly so we'd pass the exams).

Posted 9 months ago #
camo16 - Member

Russia and the Soviet Union ARE the same thing (that ages me).

History degrees are worthwhile.

Prefects do better than non-prefects later in life when they want to find work.

Venn diagrams will also come in handy later in life, honest.

All religions except for Christianity are basically devil worship in disguise. Oh yes, she got fired not long afterwards.

Long-haired male school kids usually fail exams.

Posted 9 months ago #
Stoner - Member

Yep, most of chemistry up to A level was bollox.

At least they didnt try and lie about it. First lesson of Lower 6th Chemistry: "Forget everything you've been taught so far"

patronising bollox.

Posted 9 months ago #
bikebouy - Member

Hmmm, a few things.

Girls don't like thier pigtails pulling - well in my experiance they actually did.
If you insist in fending off Bullys you will get punched - I couldn't sit around whilst one bully tried to pull my friends top down so he could see her "b*obs", so I punched him hard and knocked him out.. I got detention for that, 1 hour as the teacher thought it rather honourable that I waded in.
Study hard - what a load of cobblers, if yuo apply yourself to anything you can do rather well, regardless whether you study at it or not.
God invented the world - urm, ok then if you say so.
Don't run in the corridors - erm, it gets you there faster right, so that was rubbish.
Setting fire to the Chemisrty lab tables with the gas burners isn't funny - erm, yes it is, so too throwing sulfer bombs at your mates.
to name a few

Posted 9 months ago #
D0NK - Member

Having difficulty thinking of any at the moment but loads of stuff* teachers have told me have been on QI and turned out to be complete bobbins.

*none curriculum stuff, just interesting "facts" they imparted.

Wasn't all the chemistry physics bobbins just ways to get feeble young minds to understand stuff? Seem to remember discussing something with my physics teacher asking why this happened and the reasons for that and she ended up saying "just because, ok, now drop it" awesome.

Posted 9 months ago #
Trekster - Member

Setting fire to the Chemisrty lab tables with the gas burners isn't funny - erm, yes it is

My got class banned from science in 1st year of secondary school
Strangely enough I really cannot remember much if anything of my school years. Missed a lot of primary school due to asthma. Only really enjoyed sport and techy subjects at secondary although we did have fun in art & music. Our music teacher turned out to have been gay, something no-one ever knew anything about until he retired and got caught in a toilet doing something he should`nt
Our astronomy teacher cracked up and left suddenly citing our class as the reason

Posted 9 months ago #
thisisnotaspoon - Member

I agree, a significant amount of chemistry below A-level was just wrong (although they said so at the time but were obliged to teach us it incorrectly so we'd pass the exams).

Good job you didn't do a degree in it then :p a-level was just another set of lies, and you now have to learn a different set of lies* for each branch of chemistry.

*they're then refered to as models, the GCSE one is actualy perfectly valid and fits everything, it just doesn't go into enough detail to explain everything.

Only things I can think of that were actualy wrong were;

- Adiabatic expansion and cooling as explained by Geography teacher.
- Galvanic corrosion/electical potential by a chemistry teacher
- Entropy, which is actualy a very simple concept, but they insist on leaving it as "a measute of dissorder" which explains nothing!
- the grooves in car tyres are there to decreace friction and slow people down, technicaly true in F1 I suppose.

Posted 9 months ago #
chvck - Member

Wasn't all the chemistry physics bobbins just ways to get feeble young minds to understand stuff?

I think that Terry Ptrachett described this as "lies to children". Slight alterations to the truth that you tell kids so they can grasp the concept and then just as they get that idea you tell them it isn't quite right and repeat the process.

Posted 9 months ago #
ernie_lynch - Member

I'm starting to feel a whole lot better about spending most of my chemistry lessons staring out of the window.

I never understood a word our African chemistry teacher was on about. Although I did find the fact that he pronounced "silicon" as "silly coon" highly amusing.

Posted 9 months ago #
ransos - Member

Oxbow lakes really do exist, and they are very important.

Posted 9 months ago #
GW - Member

I er.. "missed" chemistry (among other things) at school too.. good to hear it is all bollox

Posted 9 months ago #
pedalhead - Member

My RE teacher at secondary school told us the clouds moved through the sky due to the earth's rotation. I guess that's why he wasn't the geography teacher.

Posted 9 months ago #
muppetWrangler - Member

That unless I joined the Army I would spend my life on the dole.

Posted 9 months ago #
iDave - Member

She said she'd love me forever...

Posted 9 months ago #
muppetWrangler - Member

Our astronomy teacher cracked up and left suddenly citing our class as the reason

I was convinced we were the only school in Britain that did astronomy. I've never met anyone else that has an 'O' Level in astronomy.

Posted 9 months ago #
Paul@RTW - Member

Our biology teacher told us that a dove is the same things as a pigeon but posh people call them doves and everyone else calls them pigeons.

Another one she came out with and wouldn't back down on; there is no bacteria in or on the things we ingest, else we would all be sick.

This was the A-Level biology teacher FFS!

Posted 9 months ago #
catflees - Member

Pedalhead, that's perfect! Best so far. Imagine the clouds don't move the earth just goes round under them

Posted 9 months ago #
PJM1974 - Member

That a lever arch file costs about the same as a packet of fags, but is a much better thing to carry around in your school bag.

The wisdom of Mr Bristow lives with me to this very day.

Posted 9 months ago #
pedalhead - Member

Pedalhead, that's perfect! Best so far. Imagine the clouds don't move the earth just goes round under them

The sad thing is, I spent a few years of my life believing him...

Posted 9 months ago #
sobriety - Member

First lesson of Lower 6th Chemistry: "Forget everything you've been taught so far"

I got that to, shortly followed by 'Don't worry though, if you do chemistry at degree level you'll find that more or less everything you've learnt here is wrong as well'

Posted 9 months ago #
konaboy2275 - Member

Yorkshire won the War of the Roses... as if

Posted 9 months ago #
ernie_lynch - Member

Our biology teacher told us that a dove is the same things as a pigeon but posh people call them doves and everyone else calls them pigeons.

But that is absolutely correct.

Although it would have been more informative to tell you that 'dove' is a Anglo-Saxon word, whilst 'pigeon' is a Norman French word.

Posted 9 months ago #
anagallis_arvensis - Member

a significant amount of chemistry below A-level was just wrong

does this assume that most of chemistry above a certain level is right? Cause I reckon its still a theory.

Posted 9 months ago #