So lets say you get back from a long ride and strip off out of your riding gear and sit down on your sofa in the buff.
While you’re sat there you’re presented with a bag of popcorn.
So you start eating the popcorn and one falls out of your hand and lands in the “gentlemans area” do you pick it up and eat it?

salty or toffee?

Offer it around.

What you need to do is go and get the hoover

salty or toffee?

Cinema Sweet.

Anyone watching? In which case get them to eat it, no hands allowed.

Mrs ssstu says no to that one. 😥

Makes mental note to never buy a sh sofa.

Put it back in the bag for some pop corn roulette!!

Cinema Sweet.

And you’re worried about the etiquette of it all?

Dear Lord above!

This is where it should be;

So you’ve sat a running with sweat, potentially used assos coated warm moist arse crack, (not to mention your whole body) on your sofa, and you are worried about the popcorn?

Eeuugh.

You sit on your sofa in the bollocky having just got back from a bike ride, without at least getting in the shower first?

You have bigger issues to address than spilled popcorn my friend.

You sit on your sofa in the bollocky having just got back from a bike ride, without at least getting in the shower first?

Oooh yes.
My sofa I’ll do what the **** i want on it. 😀

And you’re worried about the etiquette of it all?

Dear Lord above!

No i’m not. Just thought it’d get a reaction from the clean freaks. 8)

CFH.
Does that stuff remind you of school days? 😉

I thought it was biscuits you boys used. 😯

My sofa I’ll do what the **** i want on it.

Which renders your social etiquette question fairly pointless*.

I would suggest that you dig out the errant popcorn from between your testicles, pop into mouth, and then check your fingers by sniffing them.

*EDIT : I see from your edit that you’re not bothered by social etiquette after all. Jolly good.

I would suggest that you dig out the errant popcorn from between your testicles

My nob stopped the errant copcorn getting that far…

The dog would probably get it tbh………he’s well trained 😕

Well trained dog.

Eat it but rub it on any bum gravy for extra taste

depends who’s with you making it a social occasion surely.. if just the wife.. please yourself, she already married you… if its 10 of your riding mates all sat down butt nekkid with you on your sofa, then what to do with that popcorn is the least of your worries 😉

do you not have some kind of niche Jones popcorn picking H-bar attachment wadget made of shitanium bronze that you could use?

Pick it up and eat it, at least you know where it’s been!