Ok ive been seeing my girlfriend now for a year since getting divorced.Everthing was magical,talking about moving in together etc.Two months ago she went for a night out with the girls and asked me to pick her up at 1am,when i got there she told me she was staying out longer with the girls,now i was a bit miffed at this but thought id head back to hers to make her a fry up when she got home because she always has the munchies after drink.
Anyway at 2am im in the kitchen and hear her coming in,only shes not alone and is kissing some guy in the living room! Obviously i tell her what i think of her and tell her its over.Now the next few days all i hear is she was drunk,didnt know what she was doing and cant live with out me and will i give her a second chance.Against my better judgment i decided to.ITS been hard but im just getting back to trusting her again.
Anyway she went out again last saturday,all was good when she got home,we even talked about kids! Tuesday evening she text me to tell me she met someone on saturday and its over between us and can she have her key back.
I know i should be greatfull for finding out before we moved in together but im thinking about her every second and its driving me mad.How long before the pain starts to ease?!

Sounds like you have had a close call. Definitely walk away time.

How long to get over her? Who knows? Just dont worry about. You'll wake up one day and you'll be over her.

It will take about X period of time.

(Everyone deals with these things differently) – you prolly know this but you should have walked away the 1st time…. when you had the chance.

Thanks mate.

You'll be over her pretty quick – Focus on the fact she cheated on you and you'll soon hate her

i found the best way to get a over a women was get under another as quickly as possible 😀
but agree it sounds like a lucky escape

Thats what i keep telling myself,trouble is im not buying it yet!

Don't beat yourself up about this. Everyone's different. I have a male friend who's never got over his wife leaving 10 years ago and a cousin, who's wife died and within that year he had met and fallen for a new lady.

She wasn't right for you so you got off lightly. Give yourself some me time. Then start looking when you're ready.

Biatch! 👿 Sounds like you've dodge a bullet anyway.

Nature has a way of helping you through these things. When I got binned by my first serious girlfriend after eight years, I spent a couple of months moping, drinking, whining and greetin', off my food, hit the gym to "take my mind off it", lost a stone and a half in weight, and the first time I went out "on the pull", minus a couple of chins, I was obviously a fair bit better looking and had a bit more success.

It also immunises you against further heartbreak and gives you a more philosophical and CGAF* attitude to any future break-ups. You realise the world doesn't stop turning on its axis when some combination of You and Her decide you're not quite right for each other.

*Couldn't Give a F…

Again, a lucky escape. She's deceitful, a liar and didn't really give a toss about your feelings. It'll be tough for a while, but you deserve better and you will get better.

Lots of one night stands may ease things slightly 8).

The OP should get some sort of medal. I have not seen bullet dodging like that since The Matrix.

She wasn't right for you so you got off lightly

Assuming the OPs original description is correct, this is possibly the understatement of the year !

I mean what sort of man would be right for a woman who when drunk comes back to their flat with another man. I can only really think of possibly some kind of sadist or alternatively some kind of nutter who felt it was a challenge and would beat the **** out of the other man.

^^^
We each have our own place,she didnt expect me to be there.

As some have said, everyone's different; I'd add to that, every situation's different. Sometimes it takes days, sometimes it takes years. One thing's for sure though, it -does- get easier over time. Try not to overanalyse it, throw yourself into things you enjoy, hook up with all those mates you've been ignoring for the last year. (-:

I suppose everyone is different but if I got divorced, the last thing I'd do for a long time is hitch up with a steady girlfriend. Play the field for a bit, have a laugh. I'd not want to get into anything serious for quite a while.

Obviously that's what I'd want to do, the female members of the population might not be so willing.

I suppose everyone is different but if I got divorced, the last thing I'd do for a long time is hitch up with a steady girlfriend. Play the field for a bit, have a laugh. I'd not want to get into anything serious for quite a while.

I thought this too, but 18 months after my divorce I met up with 'the one'. 12 years on and she still is 'the one'. Don't make plans, just live life, stuff happens.

Basic formula that I know is aproximatley a week for every month you were together plus four weeks of initial gut wrenching solitude.

IYWMO. Don't throw yourself into another relationship, you need to take time out to b happy with who you are and where you are (take it from someone whos had to move out/start again twice over), then when you're a more rounded and self reliant package you can start to enter the market again. Anything else and you're a ticking emotional time bomb.

well, I'm happy to treat 18 months as 'quite a while' 😉

b r

stuff happens

Quote of the day and my relationship ethos since the last deep burn.

Second exactly what br says – top quote – "stuff happens" Everyones different and I'm sure there will be times when you will dwell on things but just believe in what you did was right and it'll pass "one day" in the future.

cant bloody wait!

being dumped by my partner of almost 10 years (18 months ago now) was, with hindsight, the best thing that could have happened. we should probably have split months earlier, to be fair. no cheating; just a completely unworkable situation. like i said, this was 18 months ago now and i've been with my current gf for coming up to 4 months, and i couldn't be happier.
advice i got on here was to play the field, get wasted lots and watch pr0n lots. i didn't do any of that!
but basically, just remember WHO you are and if you're not that person now, get back to being him. it worked for me.

just remember WHO you are and if you're not that person now, get back to being him.

+1 for this.

Fighting the urge to send a text,someone talk me out of it!

Delete the number NOW!!!

Text if you want to stay on square one. Don't text if you want to move on. Simple really.

Chalk it up & move on, you probably feel a bit of a mug for taking her back, but if you love someone you can't help but give them the benefit. Hope you get your head sorted soon, chin up eh.

Believe me, the feeling of freedom immediately after deleting the number is definitely worth it….

Skinny dont ever get involved in a slagging match, she will twist everything out of proportion,also good you didnt hit the other chap, as he didnt know,perhaps track him down and go for a drink and put him right about her.

Sadly sometimes relationships fail and you have been very lucky not to get in to deep.

Thanks,the urge has passed!

arrh mate, feel for you, tough one!!

but lets be honest, she's not good for you, you will never trust her, your better without her!

you just need to take it on the chin, time to get someting new in your life to replace her in the short term!

battle on mate!

I think it's like redundancy, you get the months notice period, then 2 weeks for every year you worked there. That means you have 6 weeks.

So the rest of July and all of August are yours to enjoy. You timed that pretty well IMO. Make the most of the summer getting outside and doing your own thing, reconnecting with mates etc. Then come September you will be able to go through the exciting first bit of your next conquest before hibernating through the cold winter indoors shagging. Well done sir

I have done extensive and painstaking personal research into the subject..

The answer you are looking for is:

21 blind drunk nights in the pub with your best mate.. (including at least 2 karaoke sessions and 3 pub rock bands..)

two drunken fumbles with random slappers..

a date with a beautiful woman where you don't speak about the ex..

and finally.. hearing Bob Marleys 'no woman, no cry' and proper belly laughing as you realise it all suddenly actually really makes sense..

only after this will you be cured..
Then you are ready to do it all again.

Go ahead, text her – then spend the rest of your life wondering if you can trust her leading yourself into a paranoid wreck 😯
Clearly its not easy, but she had one chance after the first incident and blew it. I doubt she meant to hurt you but you've got to look after number one now!

Next time get in with a married woman. At least you know where you stand from the start.

When you walked in and saw her kissing another bloke, you should have said hello mate,and luv when i said a threesome i meant another girl not a lad, thats what we discussed before you went out to pull.

Anyway want a drink mate!

That should cause some shit to hit the fan.

Thought id give you all a quick update.Had a call off her earlier in the week asking if i'd like to go out for a meal in a nice little restraunt we used to go to,was a bit surprised but i said yes. Anyway had a smashing time but imagine my embarresment when it came to pay and i found id left my wallet at home! 🙂 Very nice of her to pay i thought!
Took her home afterwards where she invited me in for a coffee.One thing led to another and we ended up having the best sex ive had in ages! So im lying there recovering when she tells me she's so glad we got back together,to witch i replied "oh we're not back together that was just sex" at witch point i got dressed and left.
I should probably feel a bit guilty now but i feel so good i just dont care,have also finally deleted her number. Ah peace at last!

"A woman is just a woman., but a good cigar is a smoke". 😉

BR is the man!!
On my deeevorce, mates advised me 6 month to get over, another 6 month to find yourself again after a long relationship.

Did the moping for two month, the the revenge F**S, the the one night stands just because i could, a couple of longish termers who i dumped because i knew they werent right for either of us, then finally a few month lay off, of going out, chatting up girls but refusing to go any further no numbers swapped or owt..

Then in the worlds least likely place, somewhere i wouldnt even think of looking for girls, on a lads night out so girls werent even on the agenda, this sexy gorgeous inteligent mofo, sat next to me at the moment with my ring on her left hand rocked up, somewhere she would never be either but her regular club was shit that night…

I took one look, (I still got the pic of her and her mate on that night) walked over and told her straight " I'm Marying you" no cheesy chat up lines or owt.
She had no friggin choice in the matter!

Seriously we just new it was right from the get go, and still are like peas in a pod 2 years down the line..

So good luck!

Who above said hate your ex? Wrong!!!

You shouldn't give a flying damn about her, not a jot, not even good or bad memories, or you're storing up baggage and issues for your new relationships…