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1. Harry_the_Spider - Member

   No jokes, just the punchlines.

   I'll start.

   "No, you've got a skid mark on your forehead."

   Posted 2 years ago #
2. Haze - Member

   "Well this one's ok, but the other's got crackling in it"

   Posted 2 years ago #
3. ton - Member

   one of those upside down............

   Posted 2 years ago #
4. foxyrider - Member

   "only the council would be stupid enough to put a sh£t hole next to a leisure center"

   Posted 2 years ago #
5. theflatboy - Member

   "my god," he said, "i've been marooned."

   Posted 2 years ago #
6. Mog - Member

   "Ee-aw, ee-aw, ee-always calls me that!"

   Posted 2 years ago #
7. stuartie_c - Member

   "Jaysus, would you look at that Paddy. It's raining Datsun cogs!"

   Posted 2 years ago #
8. Drac - Moderator

   "I'll take 6 rounds of toast and make it brown."

   Posted 2 years ago #
9. metalheart - Member

   'You aint here for the shooting are you?'

   and

   'F**k off you red nosed ***t!'

   Posted 2 years ago #
10. DrP - Member

    "nah - the steaks are too high..."

    DrP

    Posted 2 years ago #
11. nbt - Member

    Londonderry

    Posted 2 years ago #
12. stAn-Bad Brains MBC - Member

    thats my c#ck

    Posted 2 years ago #
13. johni - Member

    Purple

    Posted 2 years ago #
14. CaptainFlashheart - Member

    No.

    Posted 2 years ago #
15. RaveyDavey - Member

    Why do you ask two-dogs-f*cking?

    Posted 2 years ago #
16. jimmy - Member

    An erection

    Posted 2 years ago #
17. bassspine - Member

    no, that means wrong hole!

    Posted 2 years ago #
18. roblerner - Member

    hit it with an axe

    Posted 2 years ago #
19. roundwheels - Member

    A frog in a food blender

    Posted 2 years ago #
20. roundwheels - Member

    michael Jackson

    Posted 2 years ago #
21. JohnClimber - Member

    As the actress said to the bishop

    Posted 2 years ago #
22. richcc - Member

    No I said "prick his boil"

    Posted 2 years ago #
23. slimtubing - Member

    Nut screws washers and bolts.
    big artichokes three for a pound in morrison's.

    Posted 2 years ago #
24. marsdenman - Member

    'No, it says 'Welcome to Barbados, have a nice day!'

    and

    'Aye, and I'm barred from Tesco's as well....'

    Posted 2 years ago #
25. eldridge - Member

    When we'd finished, my c**k was the shape of a giraffe

    Posted 2 years ago #
26. aracer - Member

    a stick

    Posted 2 years ago #
27. PapaWheelie - Member

    "Now where's this Eskimo woman you want me to wrestle?"

    Posted 2 years ago #
28. skidartist - Member

    I've always thought theres a punchline that could have been approved upon...

    When Winston Churchill did his ".....and you madam are ugly, but in the morning I'll be sober." he should have added "so, get your coat luv, you've pulled"

    Posted 2 years ago #
29. cranberry - Member

    He wanted to be a conductor.

    Posted 2 years ago #
30. Onzadog - Member

    a dead epileptic

    Posted 2 years ago #
31. PeterPoddy - Member

    Nahh mate, he's a cyclepath!

    Posted 2 years ago #
32. thepurist - Member

    No you're right, it's a doughnut

    Posted 2 years ago #
33. funkynick - Member

    No no no... it's ice cream!

    Posted 2 years ago #
34. Onzadog - Member

    No, it's just snow.

    Posted 2 years ago #
35. julianwilson - Member

    fish, chimps and mushy bees.

    Posted 2 years ago #
36. neverfastenuff - Member

    "why the long face"

    Posted 2 years ago #
37. neverfastenuff - Member

    and St Paul said,
    Yes, we have to punish the women as well

    Posted 2 years ago #
38. seizednuts - Member

    i didnt say you had big teeth!!
    I said you were f**king goofy.

    Posted 2 years ago #
39. Rusty Spanner - Member

    'Donald Campbells' underpants.'

    Posted 2 years ago #
40. skidartist - Member

    "......the Aristocrats!"

    Posted 2 years ago #

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