Need to provide a stool sample to my GP.
How much do they want? Obviously not a whole log as that wouldn't fit in the vial :roll:, but am I expected provide a relatively full vial or just a small sample with the little stick they gave me?
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Providing a Stool Sample - Serious Question
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Posted 7 months ago #
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You do need to fill the whole vial, best use your thumb to stuff it in.
Posted 7 months ago # -
A mate had to do this when he had worms.
He screwed up the jar, and was then concerned that the worms would suffocate and die, so he punched air holes in the lid.
What a nutter.
I don't think the reception staff were too happy when he took it in...You do need to fill the whole vial, best use your thumb to stuff it in.
And use a butter knife to level it off, or it'll squidge out of the lid if it's overfilled.
Posted 7 months ago # -
Just dig out a small sample and place in the vial with the stick
Posted 7 months ago # -
Depends what for...
Now if it is a 5 day faecal fat collection....
What I'd do is ring the surgery at 0830 tomorrow morning and ask them for a precise weight of stool needed...
Serious answer - it doesn't seem to matter much, A quarter the container is plenty for most tests.
Posted 7 months ago # -
Only on STW!
Posted 7 months ago # -
My question is..
How do you collect it? hand down the toilet or something?
Posted 7 months ago # -
as above, just a little bit with the spoony thing. Full log not required.
Posted 7 months ago # -
Only on STW
He's aking a 'serious' question about poo though! On here!!
I mean, come on, it's too good an opportunity to miss really, in't it?
How do you collect it? hand down the toilet or something?
Into a bowl, innit?
Unless you're a very accurate crimper with equally good aim...
Posted 7 months ago # -
Elfinsafety - Member
He's aking a 'serious' question about poo though! On here!!Bike forum perhaps ?
Posted 7 months ago # -
Use picolax.
Posted 7 months ago # -
And a bucket.....
Posted 7 months ago # -
Use picolax.
and a backstop.
Posted 7 months ago # -
Reminds me of that old Police hit "messing in a bottle"
Posted 7 months ago # -
I'm sure they are sick to death of shit filled vials, so why not do something more interesting, something like a Mr Whippy ice cream? You could even decorate it wih 100s and 1000s or a flake, couldn't you? Or draw a shamrock in it like those funny chappies and chapessessessess do in the local Irish bars on the Guinness. That would surely raise a smile, after all it can't be much fun poking and prodding other people's poo, unless you're G***ge M*chael.
Posted 7 months ago # -
If youre embaraseed just ask a freind for a spare log, or twig.
or if it a pooh it yourself jobbie,plenty of luriacnt, best to avoid anything you may use on the bike as they smell terrible, insert tube i bum and SLOWLY PRES BACK, youll find the litle tube fully filled,dont pass wind during the process, or you will shoot the tube through the wall.
note, remember to remove top of canister before insertion.
Posted 7 months ago # -
And use a butter knife to level it off, or it'll squidge out of the lid if it's overfilled.
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww! I had thought this thread was being quite
tastefuldiplomatic until that!Posted 7 months ago # -
Posted 7 months ago #
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Gift wrap it ?
Posted 7 months ago # -
or if it a pooh it yourself jobbie,plenty of luriacnt, best to avoid anything you may use on the bike as they smell terrible, insert tube i bum and SLOWLY PRES BACK, youll find the litle tube fully filled,dont pass wind during the process, or you will shoot the tube through the wall.
Erm, riiiight, ok....
Posted 7 months ago # -
Don't over do it.
Posted 7 months ago # -
Posted 7 months ago #
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What you need is a lay and display shelved WC - German style.
Posted 7 months ago # -
dont pass wind during the process, or you will shoot the tube through the wall.
Great. Now I have to clean coffee out of the keyboard.
Posted 7 months ago # -
Why does it look like she's just given herself a dirty sanchez?
Posted 7 months ago # -
And try to collect the sample somewhere easy to clean up if there is any spillage, otherwise you might have problems.
Although it could end up providing the excuse you need to redecorate:
Posted 7 months ago # -
And try to be a bit more directed than this -
Posted 7 months ago # -
That made me laugh so much I almost 'went' myself!
My life has bin enhanced by seeing that, thank you deluded.
Ah, so much amusement from something so basic and simple.
Posted 7 months ago # -
Important that you grade it before handing to reception
Posted 7 months ago # -
This would also be a really bad time for that invisible poo that you sometimes do. You know the one.
You remember straining a bit and feeling it come out, there's a distinct smell of poo in the bathroom but you look in the toiler, AND THERE'S NOTHING THERE!!!!
Posted 7 months ago # -
Elf - glad you liked that
It's how Fred (played by Jason Sudeikis) raises his eyebrow and nods his head that makes me laugh.
Posted 7 months ago # -
lateo - Member
Important that you grade it before handing to receptionWill do but I am a regular 3 or 4
Posted 7 months ago # -
You could have some fun and confuse them with one of these
http://www.turdtwister.com/As with any device read the manual
Posted 7 months ago # -
Good luck with Type 7 or Guinness Poo
Posted 7 months ago # -
put cat poo init.
Posted 7 months ago #
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