Paying your GF/BF rent? « Singletrack Forum

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Paying your GF/BF rent?

85 posts & 51 voices | Started 6 months ago by scunny | Latest reply from zippykona

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scunny - Member

Does anyone do this?

I've been with her for 2yrs, and it looks like after xmas i'll be moving my stuff in. We discussed financial arrangements, but this is where things start to get messy.

I'll start off by saying that we both imagine being together for the forseeable future. Eventually, i guess, we'll be buying a house of our own.

She currently own's 2 house's. One is rented out, the other she bought 2 months ago and is the one we'll be living in.

When we discussed moving in together a few months ago she was quite clear that she'd support me in saving for my own place (buy to let) and as such wouldn't want me to be paying an over the top amount to live at hers.

Now, i would have no problem at all paying half the mortgage (which is £645pm) and half the bills (works out at about £250pm)if my name was on the mortgage. We did discuss buying together, but thought it best to wait a couple more years.

I've offered to pay £350pm, and do most of the shopping which would probably work out at around £150. But when i offered this she got arsey and said i was tight. Am i? I'm paying to cover any increase in bill's and also an amount towards the mortgage.

I've flat out refused to pay half of the mortgage, and reminded her that we discussed buying together in the summer.

In reality, i know that with 2 mortgages to pay she's panicing. But im not prepared to throw my money into something, and if something were to go wrong leave me with no chance in hell of me getting any money back.

I'm being tight? She's a bitch?

Surely having a male round the house is priceless?

Posted 6 months ago #
philconsequence - Member

thisisnotaspoon posted this morning about the fact he pays his ladybeast money for living quarters

your situation sounds tricky dude:

are you planning on it being a long term relationship?

Posted 6 months ago #
wrecker - Member

£350 and shopping is plenty IMO. Legally you're a lodger; particularly if she insists on filling out a rent book.

Posted 6 months ago #
IanMunro - Member

GFs always say how much they cherish honesty in a relationship, so just tell her you're not very committed to the relationship, and aren't prepared to potentially chuck money down the drain.

Posted 6 months ago #
druidh - Member

Tell her to do it legally, get a rent book and to remember to pay tax on the income she's receiving from you.

Posted 6 months ago #
philconsequence - Member

if your contributing towards the mortgage and bills, and in a commited relationship living in the same house together, would this afford you any 'rights' to any of it if you split up? i haven't checked any legal stuff but i was under the (possibly wrong) impression that if you can show you've contributed towards the household for a certain amount of time you're entitled to some of it if you split up?

Posted 6 months ago #
flamejob - Member

See what flatshare rates are and pay, say, 2/3 of that.

Only fair considering you share a room.

Posted 6 months ago #
MSP - Member

I would pay half, but expect to move to a joint mortgage after 6-12 months, if everythings working out.

Posted 6 months ago #
mudshark - Member

What's the going rate for that accommodation in the area? Pay that unless she wants to discount it a bit - mate's rates. The share the food. Keep it business like so you both know what you've agreed to.

Posted 6 months ago #
Aidy - Member

More than about £350 a month, and there's a tax liability. Although I suppose that could be gotten around if you paid bills and such.

Posted 6 months ago #
bagpuss72 - Member

Half of everything in the property you are going to live in is fair why should she pay more there. BUT I don't think you should pay anything towards a second property she owns why would you?

I lived with someone who took the p**s for 20 years and now its a equal relationship with whoever has cash buying rounds, meals etc take it in turns and its lovely

Posted 6 months ago #
The Southern Yeti - Member

What's the house like? Number of bedrooms... bathrooms? Garage? Garden? Good back door?

Posted 6 months ago #
scunny - Member

Yeah, this is long term.

What's likely to happen is i'll put my name on this mortgage, after signing some contract stating the amount of money she's put into the house before me, so that if all did go tits up we'd be able to sell and distrobute the money accordingly.

But untill then, we have to go through this.

It may also be worth mentioning that i earn £27k, she earns £39k.

Posted 6 months ago #
surfer - Member

if you can show you've contributed towards the household for a certain amount of time you're entitled to some of it if you split up?

I think thats a myth.

Posted 6 months ago #
Aidy - Member

Half of everything in the property you are going to live in is fair why should she pay more there. BUT I don't think you should pay anything towards a second property she owns why would you?

But it's going on repaying the mortage - half of the interest on the mortgage would be fair (plus half of bills etc.).

If it's in her name only, then it's not really fair to expect the OP to assist with repaying the capital.

Posted 6 months ago #
scunny - Member

No quite a myth. My mum's going through something at the minute with her ex husband. He's trying to claim some of the house. We lived in it for 25 years, him for 5.

Posted 6 months ago #
wrecker - Member

How much do you pay in rent (incl bills etc) currently?

Posted 6 months ago #
binners - Member

www.youtube.com/watch?v=SniOXFhwIZ8

Posted 6 months ago #
philconsequence - Member

What's likely to happen is i'll put my name on this mortgage, after signing some contract stating the amount of money she's put into the house before me, so that if all did go tits up we'd be able to sell and distrobute the money accordingly.

sounds sensible!

IMO wages shouldn't really matter, everything split in two on the house you'll be living in, nothing towards her buy-to-let thingy as thats her separate investment that only she will be making money from by the sounds of it.

Posted 6 months ago #
bagpuss72 - Member

We rent so yeah its different I guess I'd not thought that one through

Posted 6 months ago #
scunny - Member

wrecker - Member
How much do you pay in rent (incl bills etc) currently?

I pay £350 all in, living with 2 other friends.

Posted 6 months ago #
CaptainFlashheart - Member

TSY, naughty....!

Posted 6 months ago #
mastiles_fanylion - Member

The relationship isn't going to go far if you are squabbling about money already.

When my GF (now wife) moved into my house she just paid a nominal amount as an informal 'rent'. I think it was £150 a month and that was about 10 years ago.

Posted 6 months ago #
scunny - Member

mastiles_fanylion - Member
The relationship isn't going to go far if you are squabbling about money already.

When my GF (now wife) moved into my house she just paid a nominal amount as an informal 'rent'. I think it was £150 a month and that was about 10 years ago.

We're not squabbling, in fact we've only talked about it twice. I just want to get things clear in my head. I know i dont want to be paying off the mortgage for her, but equally, i dont want to be freeloading.

Posted 6 months ago #
bagpuss72 - Member

Binners doesn't pay me enough I make him do chores wearing just a pinny.... its more fun than asking for extra cash

Posted 6 months ago #
The Southern Yeti - Member

Binners doesn't pay me enough I make him do chores wearing just a pinny....

Pictures... etc...

Posted 6 months ago #
wombat - Member

Whoever said romance was dead????????

If you're both going to be living in the same house for the forseeable future (life ideally) why not start as you mean to go on and split everything? Perhaps not 50/50 as you earn different amounts but a proportionate split?

Surely when you've moved in on a permanent basis it will cease to be "her" house and become "our" house...isn't that how these things work?

Posted 6 months ago #
cynic-al - Member

There was a really good programme/article on this on R4 yesterday - may have been you and yours? Followed on from a recent High Court decision where one party got screwed after paying some of the mortgage but not getting his name down IIRC.

Sounds like a minefield in that crappy legal system you Sassenachs have

Posted 6 months ago #
bagpuss72 - Member

Posted 6 months ago #
glenh - Member

She currently own's 2 house's. One is rented out, the other she bought 2 months ago and is the one we'll be living in.

When we discussed moving in together a few months ago she was quite clear that she'd support me in saving for my own place (buy to let) and as such wouldn't want me to be paying an over the top amount to live at hers.

Here's how I think this could be solved for both of you: stop buying so many houses!

Posted 6 months ago #
philconsequence - Member

that's unfair.... we'd get banned if we posted a lady in a kitchen not wearing very much

in the words of Deadlydarcy... 'i have the strangest boner right now'

Posted 6 months ago #
bagpuss72 - Member

Its what Binners looks like just before I wake up

Posted 6 months ago #
binners - Member

I'm very easy on the eye, aren't I Phil

Posted 6 months ago #
wrecker - Member

Stick to your guns. You're just going from being a lodger to being a lodger. Also, it needs to be attractive for her to add you to the mortgage.

Posted 6 months ago #
grantway - Member

i would pay towards the room and half on the heating and electricity and food bills
and if she wants more then offer to buy half of the house.
fairs fair

Posted 6 months ago #