Dialledmike. I have female friends in their mid-30's pretty depressed as they are approaching the age when only guys with baggage are available so can see both perspectives.
Of course, when drunk I have offered my services shamelessly for me to become a selfless Poligamist. Theres one female friend in particular (a Korean) who I would grin and bear to make everyone....happy
I reckon she wants marriage and babies, which is not unexpected for ladies. If her leaving makes you realise you want the same, then maybe sod the loss of pride: just get the ring, bended knee, beg forgiveness, tears etc. Right away.
BTW. [and this is a bit uncomfortable to ask] Are you absolutely sure there is no-one else on the scene? Because if there is, things are more complex.
buzz-lightyear - Member
BTW. [and this is a bit uncomfortable to ask] Are you absolutely sure there is no-one else on the scene? Because if there is, things are more complex.
Yeah, that's true - it's not that unlikely if she has been dropping hints for 8 years that the trigger for her finally leaving is actually finding another potential candidate.
Does happen, no doubt about it.
Jonnyvegas - she's 30 i'm 29.
The comments about a third party - unfounded, after spending a lot of time with her I know it would have been easier to tell me that than taken the route she has.
Bluto would say "my advice to you is to start drinking heavily".
chin up 
If you don't want to marry someone (but are otherwise totally committed) and they run off because you won't, they sound totally selfish and needy to me! don't you want a partner who respects what you want too?
I stuck with my ex for about 5yrs longer than I should have really. In the process she took me down with her and I started to seriosuly doubt a few things about myself. Eventually it reached a head and it fell apart. At the time I felt liberated on one hand and lonely on the other. 3 months later I felt like a new person and was enjoying life fully again. I met a girl at that point but didn;t want a gf at the time so said I'd keep in touch. We got married in march this year and life is tops. That wasn't my plan, sh1t happens sometimes for the good ....
NZCol, thats beautiful. Sometimes though the guy is at fault. Likes being stuck in a rut and when the girl shakes this apathy he starts to feel threatened and resents the girl, putting the blame firmly at her door. OP is this you???
GW - MemberIf you don't want to marry someone (but are otherwise totally committed) and they run off because you won't, they sound totally selfish and needy to me! don't you want a partner who respects what you want too?
Works both ways....and it's one of those things where I think it's unfair to blame either party (i.e. the one who doesn't want to commit and the one who feels the need to be married). Neither can help the way they feel and neither would be 'at fault' or a 'worse person' for choosing to end the relationship because of it. Just my opinion, of course.
LittleBunny has a very good point of view.
The comments about a third party - unfounded
Good. And good luck
No txt
Bunch of flowers and a nice card with whatever you want to say written in it.
Have you both just grown up and appart? Have differing veiwpoints on life/carreer etc?
Trisha trisha.
Works both ways..
No it doesn't, how is not wanting to get married (but being totally committed to someone) needy?
Trekster - already done it. Not at the same time though. Flowers were left on the screen of her car (at the train station. I'm not a stalker, just know where she parks her car when at college) and a hand written note two days after. I'm now respecting that she wants a week or so, i'll let her call me but I think a text over the weekend from myself won't hurt.
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