Noisy people never think they are noisy - they always think they are normal. Did it ever cross your mind you are bad neighbours?
Chat Forum
Nasty Neighbour
-
Posted 10 months ago #
-
Write a letter back to your neighbours. Say that you received a letter from one of them anonymously and tell them what the ASBO people say or said to you. People that didnt send it may well out the other person....
Posted 10 months ago # -
visted my mates house last week and noted the noise his two 'little terrors' (6 and 2 years old) made when playing in their large back garden
actually really felt quite sorry for their elderly next door neighbour (they have a semi), but tbh his kids are just doing what kids at that age do
but i can't say i'd that chuffed at having them as a next door neighbour myself!
the screaming, shouting, laughing and crying **** me! the noise was unbelievable! (yep i don't have kids) - i'd never use my garden if my neighbours were that noisy and disruptive
obviously the letter has had a big impact on your pregnant wife, i'd go round to my neighbours and nicely explain the pain the letter has caused and that the council has been informed
its not really an ASBO thing though is it? seriously?
Posted 10 months ago # -
Personally long before I ever had kids I've always loved the sound of kids playing, kind of frees you from the shackles of the Victorian work ethic. Either way the OP has as right to have noisy kids and I hope the nasty neighbours get their comeuppance. All power to you Brick, I hope it works out well, you need to be calm and think tactically.
Posted 10 months ago # -
I am no fan of noisy kids but I do understand there are reasonable noisy kids and unreasonable ones. Kids got to be able to play outside but should not spend 12 hrs a day shrieking at the top of their voices.
so that to me is the crucial aspect - all kids will be noisy but are your kids unreasonably so?
Posted 10 months ago # -
actually really felt quite sorry for their elderly next door neighbour (they have a semi), but tbh his kids are just doing what kids at that age do
but i can't say i'd that chuffed at having them as a next door neighbour myself!
the screaming, shouting, laughing and crying **** me! the noise was unbelievable! (yep i don't have kids) - i'd never use my garden if my neighbours were that noisy and disruptive
it is difficult. My two lads are 3 and 4 and they make a racket in the house and out in the garden too. Our neighbours seem pretty sound about it and claim that they 'can't hear anything' which is obviously bollocks. I think the reason they are sound is becasue they see and hear us actively trying to keep the disruption to a minimum and ensuring that we don't spend every weekend in the garden to ensure they get some quiet time over the weekend.
so that to me is the crucial aspect - all kids will be noisy but are your kids unreasonably so?
kids are all different. My eldest is a noisy little bugger and his little brother far quieter - when they are on their own. Together they sound like a viking horde. And actually which is worse? Kids being noisy or the sound of adults continously bollocking their kids for being noisy?
Posted 10 months ago # -
Either way the OP has as right to have noisy kids
.Hmm, I live in a semi (new ish and therefore thin walled)and had a similar debate about this with my neighbours recently. I had a few people round one evening (I hasten to add for the first time in 18 month living there), there was a bit of music and a bit of chat, nothing overly load but clearly load enough to be heard next door, it went on until about midnight. They complained and said that it wasn't acceptable and that it disturbed their 6 month old twins. I wasn't chuffed but I understand, it was a bit load and any distrubance is annoying.
However, apparently, those same twins waking me up at all hours of the night and day, generally followed by the parents arguing over who would feed/change/settle them is perfectly acceptable and not the same at all.
We have agreed to disagree...
Posted 10 months ago # -
hmmm they cannot actually choose to shut the twins up. You can choose to keep the noise down.
I love party but I also love my sleep and I will always make a point of making life easy for my neighbours, if you cannot empathise with them then you will always have trouble I'm afraid.
Posted 10 months ago # -
Sign the neighbour up for hardcore gay European pron.
Posted 10 months ago # -
hmmm they cannot actually choose to shut the twins up. You can choose to keep the noise down.
you are right but it works both ways.
he does not go round and complain about the twins and they should let one party per year go IMHO.
Sign the neighbour up for hardcore gay European pron
you liked your subscription then
Posted 10 months ago # -
toys19, I agree. With hindsight it was a little loud, though it is obviously not a regular occurance. I also agree keeping the twins quiet is, at best, a challenge.
I suppose what I am saying is that it is not quite as clearcut as my neighbours would believe. I can live with the twins crying but it is the louder adult voices arguing that seemed to wake me up.
Posted 10 months ago # -
toys19 - Member
hmmm they cannot actually choose to shut the twins up. You can choose to keep the noise down.Hmmm, Toys, I think we've done this before.
Why should your right to kiddy noise automatically trump my respectable murmmuring Bridge party?
Thing is, if you have 'six month old twins' and a very near neighbour, you've got a real brass neck to moan about a bit of noise from next door knowing full well, the kids will be making noise regularly and frequently through the night . Fair enough if it were Thrash Metal at 3am but...
It's called give and take not take, take, take.
Posted 10 months ago # -
Speak to the offending neighbour & try to sort amicably. Best way in long run.
Otherwise, Bombers!Posted 10 months ago # -
Well I don't think he has a right to complain about the twins, do you think the twins parents want them to wake up in the middle of the night? So does anyone knocking on the door complaining help or make things better for any party? NO. In fact if I was the twins parents I would be pretty effed off with anyone complaining about it.
So when I finally do get them off to sleep the people next door has a party. I think I would complain too.
Lunge
I can live with the twins crying but it is the louder adult voices arguing that seemed to wake me up.
This would eff me off royally too, when my kids were doing nocturnal wailings we made a point of being dead quiet and often buttered up the neigbours to aplogise (although no one ever complained, we have 26 houses in our street 19 of which with kids under ten...)
Posted 10 months ago # -
Agreed. I think both parties might feel aggrieved but in the circumstances, would be better off keeping their grievences to themselves assuming it were a few friends once in 18 months.
Posted 10 months ago # -
Personally I wouldn't moan if it was my kids, but I would also apologise profusely if it was my party, a little bit of niceness goes a long way. So if my neighbours moaned at me I will always apologise and try to make good even if I think it was unjustified as a friend is better than an enemy.
Posted 10 months ago # -
Regardless of who's right or wrong anybody who sends a letter like that rather than having a quiet, polite word is a k**b. I'd go round and have a strong, firm but polite word and put them in their place, your going to have to accept that you'll never see eye to eye on this. You can't reason with the unreasonable.
Posted 10 months ago # -
Come on Brick whats the outcome?
Posted 10 months ago # -
Always two sides.
My in laws are moving house at the moment and taking a massive financial hit to get away from noisy neigbours. The noisy neighbours from my perspective are just loud families with boisterous kids who behave like boisterous kids. They do scream across the garden fence at each other (they have sets with kids either side) but there is nothing personal about it.
But.. my in-laws are typical retireds and a bit out of touch with living around children. They also chose to buy a house in a road that was obviously going to be full of families. Should they feel the right to relax in their garden without getting a headache - of course they should. Should the kids in the area be allowed to be kids and do kids type stuff - yes too. Consideration and putting yourself in the other's shoes is only way to a harmonious steet.
With regard to the "bullying letter" - having not read it, it is difficult to say but could the actions of a boisterous neighbour not be considered intimidating or bullying if they are older or quieter? Maybe they feel too intimidated to talk face to face. I'm sure you are not but from their perspective could you be considered the bullies?
Posted 10 months ago # -
actually really felt quite sorry for their elderly next door neighbour (they have a semi)
That's disgusting!
Posted 10 months ago # -
Hmm, I live in a semi (new ish and therefore thin walled)and had a similar debate about this with my neighbours recently. I had a few people round one evening (I hasten to add for the first time in 18 month living there), there was a bit of music and a bit of chat, nothing overly load but clearly load enough to be heard next door, it went on until about midnight. They complained and said that it wasn't acceptable and that it disturbed their 6 month old twins. I wasn't chuffed but I understand, it was a bit load and any distrubance is annoying.
However, apparently, those same twins waking me up at all hours of the night and day, generally followed by the parents arguing over who would feed/change/settle them is perfectly acceptable and not the same at all.
I dunno if it's like our house, but our 1790s house shares wooden beams etc. with next door, the two houses interlock. You can basically hear most stuff. They (infrequently) have loud parties. My opinion on it is that up till about 11 is cool on a school night, and up till maybe midnight on a weekend evening. 2am at the 17 year old daughter's birthday party on a school night had me round complaining to the dad the next day (he'd stayed over somewhere else, leaving a bunch of kids to drink and take drugs, play loud music and swear at the neighbours!)
We have a baby too. I think that babies are just a fact of life, so I don't think it is okay to have a problem with babies waking up at night, but we would ourselves be as quiet as possible when going to her, and also go to her pretty quick, because we know the walls let a lot of sound through.
Posted 10 months ago # -
why would they say children are visiting your house if they arent?
it doesnt add up
Posted 10 months ago # -
Well I don't think he has a right to complain about the twins, do you think the twins parents want them to wake up in the middle of the night? So does anyone knocking on the door complaining help or make things better for any party? NO. In fact if I was the twins parents I would be pretty effed off with anyone complaining about it.
of course not everyone has a remote control for their kids [ 4 & 6 so yes they make some noise]. think they also sais the parents arguing and shouting at each othe rover whose turn it was also woke him more than the kids so they may have a point tbh.
I can hardly complain if my neighbour has a party once every 18 mths if my household wakes him up twice per week. Like he said it was a"quiet" party that ended at 12
Give and take tbh in my book.Posted 10 months ago # -
The letter we received was, frankly, boll*cks. It claimed that we had had children over every day the last two weeks and then 'parties' on both sundays. My missus has had chickenpox the past two weeks and has seen NONE of her friends. The week before she was rough too and the week before we were away on hols. Whatever they are recording, if anything, is a fiction.
We did have my in laws over last weekend for a barbie and so had one child (my two year old)in the garden. Last weekend we had some old friends round and they have a four year old boy (noisier than ours and not as well behaved) who did scream a bit admittedly, and a nine month old who isn't talking yet and slept most of the 5 hours they were over. Maybe this is what the fuss is over. The neighbours were in their inflatable pool all afternoon. If it was noisy it would have been easy to say so.
Whenever wifey has friends over in the week its normally a wednesday and from 2pm (after 2 year olds' nap) until 4pm, usually to give wifey time to put the tea on etc. This is the extent of the garden usage most weeks. Most of the time wifey takes daughter out to playgroups or classes.
I can't emphasise enough how this has shocked us, because of how much bullsh1t it is full of.
one poster above mentioned his neighbours who were mid fifties or whatever and had lost touch with the realities of having kids; this is exactly what i think has happened here.
Even so, i don't think there is any excuse for what was written in the letter. its pretty nasty.
I'm going to ask the final two neighbours if they have 'heard' any other neighbours complaining about noise from us. Maybe they will fess up to the letter. If not i'll just carry on as if it never arrived in the first place but i've asked all the neighbours if there's a problem. Hopefully that'll be the end of it.Posted 10 months ago # -
Noisy people never think they are noisy - they always think they are normal. Did it ever cross your mind you are bad neighbours?
Possibly this.
However possibly mistaken ID? I got a note from the animal welfare people telling me there had been a report of barking and ill treated animals kept at my home. I don't have any animals and I'd only lived there a month or two lol.
The neighbours were in their inflatable pool all afternoon.
Clearly not middle class bullying then
Posted 10 months ago # -
I'm going to ask the final two neighbours if they have 'heard' any other neighbours complaining about noise from us.
... with the gambit of "well, I just don't understand why they didn't say anything!" - I doubt anyone will 'fess up if they didn't sign it in the first place, but it might encourage them to speak up next time rather than behaving like schoolchildren.
Posted 10 months ago # -
Anonymous letters are always unacceptable and should be considered both sinister and threatening, specially when they contain stuff like "we're keeping records" and "we don't think this is the right area for you".
The OP's behaviour is not the issue here imo.
Posted 10 months ago # -
Clearly not middle class bullying then
lol
Posted 10 months ago # -
They ( the neighbours ) are comitting assault ( remember boys and girls, it doesnt have to be actual physical violence to be assault ). I'd inform the police, just so its on file with them, let the ASBO team do their thing then take it from there. Having been on the end of such behaviour, I wouldnt stand for any nonsense.
Posted 10 months ago # -
They ( the neighbours ) are comitting assault
How's that then?
Posted 10 months ago # -
I have next door neighbours that have noisy kids. Asian family with two young boys around 3/4/5ish. They are regularly screaming, yelling and banging doors at 11pm onwards and their parents seem to let them get away with it. I can hear screams of "No No No No!!! from the little darlings and i've seen them (over the fence) run out into the garden with no pants on and pee in the yard right outside their back door.
All came to a head when i heard a banging noise outside when i had the back door open. Went outside and couldn't see anything, then heeard it again. The little sods were in their bathroom throwing rubbish (used batteries, empty cans etc) into my garden and at my cats.I went and had a stern word about it, telling them that any damage, any vet bills would be paid for by them (to the parents obviously) and that it really had not better happen again.
I live alone, so i'm quiet as a church mouse most of the time and because of work i'm up no later than 11pm. If the noise gets too bad though, the stereo comes on...
Posted 10 months ago # -
I'd put a fair amount of money on no other neighbours have thought it was 'terrible' or have indeed noticed anything. They'll have been assuming their thoughts are indeed the representation of the populous (bit like STW people then... :P)
The worrying part of the letter is the hint to move out.
Posted 10 months ago # -
How to deal with feuding neighbours:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=KCamCYip2t4How to do deal with feuding neighbours:Posted 10 months ago # -
+1 @ Ernie
Posted 10 months ago # -
Turn your place into a clubhouse for the local Hells Angels chapter.
Posted 10 months ago #
Reply »
You must log in to post.
