We received a letter anonymously today saying that we have young children over every day (we don’t) and that they are really noisy and causing a disturbance (we are a normal family, no shouting, banging, loud music etc). The letter goes on to say that a number of other neighbours think its ‘terrible’ and that they are keeping records and will report it to the council if it goes on. It also says that ‘maybe isnt the right area’ for us.

Now upon reading this my wife (seven months preg with Brick no. 2) was very upset and got very stressed out. She’s been ill with chicken pox for the last fortnight and hasn’t seen anybody. She immediately wants to sell up and move etc..

I pretty much know who the letter is from and whilst the letter is not using abusive language, should I inform the police about it? For records sake in case it escalates? I realise they probably won’t spring into action and arrest the perp.
I rang the council who are sending the ASBO team round to talk to us, as they said its malicious behaviour.
I’m not sure what else to do, any ideas?

I wont be owning with bombers (strictly a Rock Shox man) nor weeing in their shoes!

poo in their shoes ?

where do you live….I’ll come round and own them Kung fu panda stylee 😉

Go nuclear on their asses

To be truthful if anyone had upset my pregnant wife they would be scraping up the pieces

Firstly, re: noise complaint – playing children are exempt from any enforcement that council may want to do.

I’d co-operate with the ASBO team, ask them to visit whoever you think this is and let them explain the situation to them.

I might also consider putting the letter you have received with a covering note saying that you don’t believe you are being excessively noisy but if anyone wishes to discuss it with you you’re more than happy to do so. I’d wait and see what ASBO team say, though – no point in escalting too soon.

Noise is a very emotive subject and you have my sympathy.

That is harsh and it sdoes sound like gentle middle class bulying to me
Use the authorities as you have noted and as it is anoymous I would ignore it as the words of a coward who wont stand by their opinions [ assuming you are not a violent psycho]

Look after your wife and can yo get the neighbours onside about this, act all concerned and stuff and ask if it does annoy them? Explain how upset your heavily pregnant wife is with this sprt of hate mail etc. turn the tables so to speak
Spill the beans as well as there sounds like there is more if you have a suspect

personally, i would start and live up to the neighbours expectations.

paaarrrtttttyyyyy……………. 8)

Survey your neighbours??

Politely of course… take them a pie if you wish.

Small-minded twerps are best ignored in my opinion.

Its nice to live in an area surrounded by nice neighbours but its also pretty easy to spend your whole life completely ignoring them, too. They can go through the proper channels and get the council/noise control involved but its a long drawn out process and I doubt they’ll do anything anyway. On the other side are you definitely not causing any issues? It would be odd to complain over absolutely nothing and lots of parents have an ability to filter out any unruly behaviour by their children.

suddenly id find metal to grind up and start cutting sticks for the fire with the chainsaw – at social hours mind – im not a “complete” cock 😉

the sound of happy playing kids will be bliss to them then !

Put a note up on a lamp post stating you have forwarded the letter to the police and that you know your rights with regard to when noise is a nuisance .

Were the senders never children themselves for Christ sake? I’m assuming (maybe wrongly) that the note is from a pensioner/older person.Happy children make noise it’s just part of growing up.

It takes forever for the council to do anything about noise nuisance in Leeds at least.We were keeping records for a couple of years(genuine noise nuisance) and still nothing got done.

Ignore them and carry on with your life.

Easier said than done, but it’s likely to one miserable person who doesn’t like kids (rather than include a ‘a number of other neighbours’).

It could be worse…it could be your neighbour who’s noisy, now that’s annoying.

Do you have a lot of retired people living near you?

That ^.

Rip it up, try and forget about it and carry on as normal. If someone isn’t man enough to discuss any issue to your face then **** em.

Open dialogue, it’s the only way. Be excessively nice, even if you don’t like who you think it is.

Feuds are never any good.

Go round and knock on your neighbours doors. Ask them if they wrote the letter and whether there is a problem. Be polite, curteous and approachable. And be really really really firm on the point that YOU have the right to LIVE in your house and garden, not merely exist for fear of annoying someone.

Take the initiative. I bet they are fizzers.

also can be an issue when you come to sell, you’re supposed to mention any disputes you’ve had so if you start getting people involved on your side that could create issues further down. I’d do a quick call around the houses, expressing surprise that they think you’re too noisy, but what in particular is the concern and you’ll see what you can do about it.

You’ll probably find that they haven’t got a problem and the anonymous coward that wrote the letter hasn’t got anyone on his side after all.

I would invite every single person you know with kids over on Saturday for a slap up barbie, plenty of laughing screaming kids about the place. See if you can rent a bouncy castle or a trampoline.

Some people are miserable shits.

This is horrible passive agressive bullying and if there is one thing that make my piss boil it’s a bully.

The sarcastic legal advise is move bad neighbours can’t be changed to good neighbours by any agency be it police council or courts.

My personal suggestion is to make a copy of the letter for every neighbour you have. Personally visit each neighbour and have a low key chat, saying something to the effect that you have received the letter you are very concerned if they are upset or inconvenienced and you want to talk things through with them if they have any problems. That should give you some peace of mind and the poison pen author a sleepless night. If you do have a prime suspect I’d go to them last but hope they see you going to all the neighbours houses.

If you cannot beat them join them

Send out your own random complaining letters to all my neighbours & watch the fireworks start 😉

LOL @ ski 😀

So the note is anonymous, does it name you at all, or identify you by house number?

If not, drop it in the letter box of your main suspect unseen. They can’t take the matter up with you without immediately giving away that they sent it or knew who did!

Send an anonymous letter to the neighbour you suspect that you’ve seen him peering through the window at children and that there are a number of neighbours who think its worrying.

leave it to the ASB officers – discuss with them what the options are but don’t inflame the situation. It’s amazing how many anti-social complaints we get that are incredibly pathetic (complaints re kids playing in the kids play park, playing football on the football pitch etc) – if your neighbours had a genuine complaint then they would have gone to the authorities themselves. In the meantime just go about your lives as per normal – it’s probably some pathetic person who has no life of their own that is jealous of the fact that you have a life!

ski – Member
If you cannot beat them join them

Send out your own random complaining letters to all my neighbours & watch the fireworks start

Posted 1 hour ago # Report-Post

Photocopy the letter, and add a note to the front of it saying that a faceless neighbour has been sending this letter round to you, dont put your name or address, but state the matter is now being handled by the police and the council, who are well aware of the writers address.

Alo sstate that your neighbours may be on the recieveing end of malicious mail in the future.

I would get a new vent for the house

http://arbroath.blogspot.com/2006/08/new-house-design-either-cactus-or.html

I’d wander round to your suspected neighbour and those near you who also might be impacted by the ‘noise and disturbance’ and politely ask them if they have an issue – be prepared to listen to and debate their issue – hopefully to some mutally agreeable solution if folks do identify an issue.

I have a daughter and her friends come round and play in our back garden and in the public areas – quite often noisily – but they also never venture onto others property and we also guide them to be considerate of others.

However sometimes folks don’t consider or care about the impact of their actions on others and this is when it can get silly and out of control. Your kids have a right to play, but your neighbours also have a right to be comfortable in their own homes.

However, the neighbour with the issue should just have first talked to you about it….

I’d wander round to your suspected neighbour and those near you who also might be impacted by the ‘noise and disturbance’ and politely ask them if they have an issue – be prepared to listen to and debate their issue – hopefully to some mutally agreeable solution if folks do identify an issue.

+1
As can be demonstrated here, people have much larger balls when they can hide behind a screen or anonymous letters. No need to be confrontational. When everyone has denied it, problem gone.

+1 what crankboy said if it’s upsetting your wife:
My personal suggestion is to make a copy of the letter for every neighbour you have. Personally visit each neighbour and have a low key chat, saying something to the effect that you have received the letter you are very concerned if they are upset or inconvenienced and you want to talk things through with them if they have any problems. That should give you some peace of mind and the poison pen author a sleepless night. If you do have a prime suspect I’d go to them last but hope they see you going to all the neighbours houses.

rockshox!! 😯

Posting the letter is wrong and the contents are unnecessary.
However, as someone said above, noise is a tricky issue.

Where we used to live noise travelled very easily and just having people talking at a normal level outside our house was aggravating at times.

Our neighbours were very nice and they were just going about their life in a normal way – kids in the garden, chatting with friends as they left in the evening. Nothing unacceptable at all.

It was still annoying to us though.

Open letter. Wipe bum with letter. Post letter back to prime suspect #1. Voilla 😛

Cheers for all the responses, boss let me go home early as i was distracted! -I’ve been round to a few neighbours and all are really nice and have no complaints (not to my face anyway). Still got two to do, and these are the two i suspect may be gossiping and in it together. Wife has calmed down and i’m of the opinion that i’m just going to carry on as normal. I’m def gonna speak to the last two though and mention i’ve told the old bill and council (which i have). Council were less than useless though.

I’m def gonna speak to the last two though and mention i’ve told the old bill and council

Nice one 🙂

What sort of area do you live in? Rural with older people? I’m surrounded by retired people and they’re really friendly – and my 1 yr old son ain’t too quiet.

Noisy people never think they are noisy – they always think they are normal. Did it ever cross your mind you are bad neighbours?

Write a letter back to your neighbours. Say that you received a letter from one of them anonymously and tell them what the ASBO people say or said to you. People that didnt send it may well out the other person….

visted my mates house last week and noted the noise his two ‘little terrors’ (6 and 2 years old) made when playing in their large back garden

actually really felt quite sorry for their elderly next door neighbour (they have a semi), but tbh his kids are just doing what kids at that age do

but i can’t say i’d that chuffed at having them as a next door neighbour myself!

the screaming, shouting, laughing and crying **** me! the noise was unbelievable! (yep i don’t have kids) – i’d never use my garden if my neighbours were that noisy and disruptive

obviously the letter has had a big impact on your pregnant wife, i’d go round to my neighbours and nicely explain the pain the letter has caused and that the council has been informed

its not really an ASBO thing though is it? seriously?

Personally long before I ever had kids I’ve always loved the sound of kids playing, kind of frees you from the shackles of the Victorian work ethic. Either way the OP has as right to have noisy kids and I hope the nasty neighbours get their comeuppance. All power to you Brick, I hope it works out well, you need to be calm and think tactically.

I am no fan of noisy kids but I do understand there are reasonable noisy kids and unreasonable ones. Kids got to be able to play outside but should not spend 12 hrs a day shrieking at the top of their voices.

so that to me is the crucial aspect – all kids will be noisy but are your kids unreasonably so?