The royal mail and parcel force keep losing my deliveries (when I go to collect from a v annoying collection centre) as they keep filing them under my Firstname not my Surname – because certain large mail order retailers (one in particular) insist on reversing my name.

Now that I am aware of this I advise them when I go to collect the parcel. However a post office personpedant told me that they may not accept my ID, if it too wasn’t reversed as there may be someone at my address called Lastname Firstname, instead of me called Firstname Lastname.

This is a bit of a ricidoodlydiculous kafkaesque nightmare, but I thought it would be smart to advise the retailer (big massive online one) that their habit of reversing names on parcels was causing havoc at the post office due to the moroniclovely pedants workers who ply their trade there.
This is the response I got :

Hi Firstname,

Thank you for your email.

The only way to rectify this name issue, that seems to be arising through your local postal service, is be changing your name on your CRC account, so that your first name and surname are reversed. Our system will always reverse your names.

Hope that this helps.

Thanks,

I cannot actually decide which organisation is the more stupid, the Royal Fail for not being able to discern and arguably british first name from and obviously celtic surname, or the twits at CRC large massive online retailer who think it’s essential to reverse my name on my address labels, and then advise me to consider changing my name by deed poll to suit their computer sytem.

If anyone wants to come round to my house and offer support or counselling now is the time, as I have the pills, booze and weaponry, to end my pain (well the weaponry is on order, I have a tracking number….)

So much typing to say so little.
Also, I’m fairly sure collection offices file mail by address, not by name.

It was just a tongue in cheek missive..

I feel your pain. I work in a large College and of all the effort I go to fill in the forms and make sure my name and department are clearly entered, mostly I….eventually get a parcel thats been opened by about a dozen people and gone round several departments first until someone realises…. oh yeah, that bloke in Furniture is into cycling.

Thank heaven for computer systems…

Jesus, what kind of a weird name do you have that systems automatically reverse it?

I’d be having a word with my parents and asking them if they realised that the march of technology would eventually render their choice of name completely useless.

Then Deed Poll.

Then start a gang with kaesae. 8)

DD its a good irish surname, recognisable anywhere in Kildare, Kerry and Dublin.
And my parents did that long before technology as they did the celtic thing of calling me by my middle name as my first name is my dads/grandads etc..

Anyway I was thinking of changing my name to Lastname Lastname, then they can reverse it as much as they like.

How about Firstname Firstname?

This will also disappoint your folks.

(quite a few people in Ireland called Conor O’Connor…I shit you not)

EDIT: Hmmm…Kildare, Kerry and Dublin…

*Thinks…

my CRC parcels never have my name reversed??

Our system will always reverse your names.

I wouldn’t know whether to put the ‘toys’ before the ’19’ or after either, tbh.

faz083, are you Mr Fas093 Fas083?

If its CRC ( and I think others are the same) there is an option to have a delivery adress – just alter your name order on that.

Teej, I came here for a moan witty banter, not sensible suggestions that might actually solve the problem (although the most sensible thing would be for CRC to not reverse my name but…)

the most sensible thing would be for CRC to not reverse my name but…

I think the way that their software/systems provider behaved on here during the great CRC credit card hack (ie. ‘It’s not our fault, no way, you can’t prove nuffink and none of you know how computers work anyway’) you’re best off following TJ’s advice.

TBH I’m not starting a campaign or anything, it was just an observation of a mildly daft world.. I may well do the address reversing thing though.

Ah. shome mishtake surely –

Use an initial for your first name.

Change delivery address to my delivery address.

I’ll open it and forward anything that i think may interest you. You keep ordering, i’ll decide.

Order some stuff from big, friendly retailer. Fail to offer correct ID to numpty in PO. Stuff gets returned to retailer or lost. Get refund.
Repeat.
Repeat.
Phone BFR and give them stick for failure to deliver. Offer to order something hugely expensive to make the point.

This is a bit of a ricidoodlydiculous kafkaesque nightmare

Perhaps even a little Kaesae-esque