I have recently changed jobs and now work in south Manchester. I Previously worked in north east Manchester.
I have been here a week and have yet to experience the toilet traumas of my previous employment. Namely:

The decommissioned brown submarine lying dormant in the pan.

Dried bogies adhered to the inside surfaces of the trap

The smell of stale piss (there were no pineapple cubes in the urinals and no windows to open)

These toilets are clean and well ventilated. HOWEVER. The water level in the pan
Is such that the displaced volume of a good size turd means my balls are getting a cold dip.

Suggestions please. At the moment I have to wipe my ass and dry my scrotum. I don’t have time for this

Ask on a Ladyboys’ forum ?

Consider scrotum reduction surgery, seriously, if they are dangling like that

At the moment I have to wipe my ass and dry my scrotum. I don’t have time for this

Mention it to HR. Go on, I dare you.

Sh!t on the floor?

Having a big, loose scrotum is not something I’d boast about.

Its because you’re now south of the Manchester Equator. It causes all manner of problems. If you notice, when you flush, it’ll go down anti-clockwise

Did you get my email BTW?

Actually in tears laughing at
“At the moment I have to wipe my ass and dry my scrotum. I don’t have time for this “

EPIC

Since you left there have been no submarines in the fjord.

Unconnected? Hmmm…

You know you’re meant to sit facing away from the wall?

Reminds me of starting my first proper job. A few weeks in after making a particularly heavy off-load and using the last of the toilet paper up I said to one fo the admin girls who ordered in that sort of thing that we needed some more. Cue polite email to entire company saying could people please let her know when we’re running low so she can order some in time as James has just told me he’s used the last of it. Thanks Sarah for letting the entire company know I’ve just had a dump.

You need to start eating a South Manchester diet, you won’t produce logs of that size eating nothing but houmous, seeds and ethically sourced free range quail.

Convert from christianity?

Hover?

By the way – satellite tracking now available 😀

http://www.flushtracker.com/

The only perk to high level water is the ability to see how long you can make your log…

fill the bowl with toilet paper first…. it softens the landing.

what is it with poos on here today?

Derek_Gonad

Lay down a safety net with some bog roll.

Alpin. This isn’t a splashback issue. It’s partial immersion. Think scrotal snorkelling.

The toilets in our place were refurbished recently, all very nice but when you reach for the bog roll you’re arm is too close to the sensor and it triggers the auto flush 😯

I’d suggest a small liferaft of some manufacture. You’ll only need it to be approx 3″ in diameter, afterall you are only dangling one at a time surely.

Get someone to knock one up for you.

Or this.. Has been used to good effect at a well known Investment Bank when “Lean” walked through the door.

Must be the time for new works toilets!

Ours were obviously installed by a midget as when sat on any of the traps my knees are almost by me ears and last week I almost knocked myself out on the top of the door frame as its only 6’2″ high, I’m 6’3″ !!!!

Oh and the original setup on the lights pir meant your ass had only just landed on the seat & the lights went out 😮

you reach for the bog roll you’re arm is too close to the sensor and it triggers the auto flush

Oooooo… Get Mr Digital and his la-di-da space-robot toilet.

This isn’t a splashback issue. It’s partial immersion

In the German “Wurmregal” (worm shelf) style?

Alpin. This isn’t a splashback issue. It’s partial immersion. Think scrotal snorkelling.

You sure you are not using local kids infant school bogs?

am i the only one with an en-suite in his office apart from those working from home?

Oooooo… Get Mr Digital and his la-di-da space-robot toilet

🙂

Yet to try teabagging the Airblade

That’s a water butt Phil

am i the only one with an en-suite in his office apart from those working from home?

Nope:

Ensuite’s are so lower middle class. I have a desk commode

to keep them dry try an action man dinghy

or if you fear drowning them what about these?

Found this in Prague recently. A lovely touch I thought. My wazz smelled all beautiful and citrussy… 😀

BTW. A short drop shitter like the one that Darek Dangle-Balls Starship is currently paddling in is known as a Pierrepoint.

Our work’s toilets are almost medieval. Dark and cold & only one of the four traps works properly. Even using the urinals is not without its problems as the Niagara-like auto flush combines with one’s err…flow to fill the bowl quicker than it’s draining 😯

Saw this while “lightening the load” before a flight home from Shanghai airport, perched on the traps in the lounge, looked to my right….

Cap’n did you go for the Gold Wash with shampoo, wax and polish?

Wasn’t flying Cathay, so no wax on/wax off…

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-14526285

😉

So did you go for a pulsating “wand cleaning” ?

Lots of Americans in today

Or get a portaloo fitted by you desk.